


I'll Keep Coming

by therealGrayFox



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Alive, F/F, Fluff, Laura's mom is here, Smut, Strap-Ons, a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:07:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 53,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21674194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealGrayFox/pseuds/therealGrayFox
Summary: Carmilla and Laura meet in a pub on a Saturday night. They grow close with each passing day, until Carmilla gets deeply hurt and some misunderstandings cause them to see each other as almost strangers.
Relationships: Laura Hollis & Carmilla Karnstein, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein
Comments: 55
Kudos: 202





	1. The Pub

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So, this is my first fic.  
> English is not my first language, so be kind *blushes*  
> But please, do point out any mistake! 
> 
> If you're curious, the title of this fic is taken from the amazing song "I'll keep coming" by Low Roar > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnrGMHhnqrw

It was a Saturday evening. Spring was spreading its beautiful colours, flowerbeds were covered in pink and violet blossoms. Carmilla was coming back from work, while walking she admired those bright flowers, thinking about how much she needed a walk alone in nature. Maybe tomorrow, if it’s sunny. She was a bit tired but not entirely worn out by the day to stay home. She needed some time to distract her mind and have some fun. 

As soon as she entered her home, her phone buzzed.

Kirsch(6:34pm): Want to come to the pub later? 

Carmilla(6:37pm): Are you alone tonight? 

Kirsch(6:40pm): yeah, until 10 yeah, Will will take over me, then i’m free. Danny will be there too.

Carmilla groaned to herself ‘Ugh, fine’.

Carmilla(6:43pm): fine, i’ll be there at 9. See you later

Kirsch(6:44pm): yay! see you! :)

The pub Carmilla was planning on going to was called The Sandstorm. It was her favourite place, because they had different types of beers, not just the usual beer they serve at bars. Her brother Will worked there, together with Kirsch. Carmilla and Kirsch have been friends for quite some years, since Will introduced this little weird but caring boy to her sister. Will and Kirsch went to the same school, and remained friends since. 

After a refreshing shower, she found herself in front of the wardrobe, trying to decide what to wear. The choice fell back on something black, as always. Some black jeans, a black tank top with some geometrical white designs and her favourite combat boots. 

She ate something for dinner, even though she wasn’t hungry, knowing it isn’t really wise to go drinking without a thing in your stomach. Better to be prepared. 

At 9pm she was there. Punctuality was one of her thing, one of her qualities and she hated people who were constantly late. Even though Kirsch was still working, she said she’d be there at 9 and so it was. True to herself. And you can’t really blame her, that’s one pretty good quality. 

She entered and went straight to the bar counter, and Kirsch appeared out of the kitchen after just a minute she sat down. 

He greeted her with a big smile. “Hi Carmilla! Finally i see you!”

“Hey there”

“You’ve been working all damn week, you did good by coming tonight!”

“Oh, why’s that?” she asked, suddenly not feeling too thrilled to be there, surrounded by people who were being too loud.

“Come on, you need some time away from all those books you read. Plus, Danny is coming.”

“Wow, that really makes me want to lock myself in the bathroom.”

“Don’t be a jerk. She needs some help with a girl, you’re the expert and you’re going to help her.”

“Unless she offers me a beer, i won’t do such a thing.” Carmilla said, mildly joking. 

“Here, drink this, i’m going back to the kitchen, be out in a while!” He handed her a glass with god knows what and disappeared. But she trusted him, so she took a sip of it. Not bad. 

She looked around the pub, a lot of pretty girls happened to be there, but none really caught her full attention. But god, she needed to get laid. To feel someone close to her and release some stress. Her mind was taken off of these thoughts when a person approached her. 

“Hey, are you here all alone?” a girl asked.

“Seems like it for now.” Carmilla replied in a flat tone.

“I’ve been looking at you since you entered the pub, you’re pretty”

“Something caught your eye?” Carmilla said looking her up and down.

“To be honest, you look hot.”

‘What a plain answer’, Carmilla thought to herself but said out loud “Thanks. What about you? Are you here alone?”

“I’m here with some friends, but i’d rather stay here with you.” she said smiling.

Just as Carmilla was opening her mouth to answer, Danny came bursting through the pub door, grabbed Carmilla by the wrist and dragged her to a booth.

“I was in the middle of something, you know.” Carmilla spit out.

“Sit the fuck down, i need your help!” Danny replied back.

“Ugh, where’s my beer then?” Carmilla said crossing her arms. 

“Fine, be right back, just stay here.” said Danny running to the bar counter.

Carmilla started thinking of what could have happened if Danny didn’t drag her away from that girl. They could have been in a bed, naked, fucking. She just realized she didn’t even know her name. Damn. She was kind of cute. She thought that maybe she’ll find her later.

Danny came back, with two beers.

“Feeling generous, uh?” Carmilla asked, raising her eyebrows. 

“You wish...one is for me, i really need one, maybe more than one.”

“So..spit it out, what’s wrong tall woman?” Carmilla asked, wishing it wouldn’t take long for this story. 

“Well, you know the girl i’m seeing, right? Anne? We’ve been dating for 2 months, and i’m kind of wanting to have sex...i mean, i’ve wanted for a while already, but every time i initiate something, she pulls away or starts talking about whatever. What do i do?”

“You don’t have any idea of what to do?” Carmilla asked.

“You’re the expert! That’s why i’m asking you!” 

“Expert on what?” She asked furrowing her brows.

“On sex! Come on, you always end up with a girl..almost every time we go out, you bring a girl home! And you must be pretty good at that, since they always seem to try and track you down again after! That’s what you do, Carmilla, no feelings!” 

At those words, Carmilla felt herself kind of stabbed. So..people thought she was some sort of sex machine, hell, her friends thought that. It hurt a bit. She craved intimacy, that is true, but what she really craved, and what Danny didn’t seem to know, was that she craved real intimacy. And she hasn’t found it yet. And also, she had feelings. It’s just so hard to show them sometimes.

“Well, it must be my charm then.” Carmilla said a bit bitterly, but Danny didn’t seem to catch that.

“Yeah yeah, you’re hot and full of yourself, we know that...so, what do i do?”

“Really Danny? It doesn’t seems so hard. Just talk to her.” Carmilla calmly said.

“But what the fuck is the problem? She doesn’t like me enough or what?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes as soon as Danny started that sentence. “Maybe it’s too early for her, maybe she wants to wait a bit more, maybe she’s scared, maybe she’s asexual.” Carmilla replied. 

“Oh, you think?”

“I think i just need another beer and i think you just need to talk to her about your intimacy. I can’t tell you things for her. I’m not her. Just talk. Everything will be clear after.”

With that, Carmilla stood up, but Kirsch joined them and she sat back down. 

“Giiiirl, i think someone finds you pretty interesting tonight.” Kirsch said to Carmilla.

“Oh i know, we talked earlier a bit...before this idiot interrupted me with her rant.”

“That was not a rant. I gave you a free beer so shut it.” Danny said sticking out her tongue.

“Well, she’s been staring at you all night, seems like it’s your lucky night.” he said with a wink.

Carmilla stood up, “I’ll go grab another beer, do you guys want anything?”

“Gin tonic” they both said, smiling at the unison.

When Carmilla was gone, Kirsch got up and headed to a booth that was kind of facing theirs, to the other side of the pub. A group of three friends sat there, two redheads and a blonde. “Hey folks, i’m Kirsch, nice meeting you and sorry for interrupting...I-I saw you, blondie, looking at my friend…” the girl blushed instantly. He continued, “well, she’s free as a….a-a, can’t think of anything now, she’s free, make a move and she’ll appreciate that.” And winking he went back to Danny. 

The two redheads said to the girl who was still a bit red from all the blushing, “Go, go!”. 

“I’ll go grab some drinks.” 

She went straight to the bar counter without thinking twice. It’s true, she’s been looking at that gorgeous woman, an air of mystery surrounded that girl, who she thought might already have a date or a fiancé, seeing how beautiful she is. ‘Fuck stereotypes on beauty’ she thought. Plus, Kirsch told her she is free, so ‘just go for it’, she thought. 

She was waiting for the bartender to finish serving someone, when a guy tripped on a stool near her, and bumped into her. “Oh sorry!” he said. This caught Carmilla’s attention, who was there waiting to be served, too. She turned around and smiled kindly at the girl waiting beside her. That smile and stare lasted more than it should last between two strangers. But again, there are no rules with these things, until it doesn’t become creepy or clearly unwanted, it’s acceptable. 

The blonde girl returned the smile, feeling herself heat up in the face as seconds passed. Carmilla turned her face to the bartender and asked for her drinks. She felt the blonde’s eyes still on her, she wanted to watch those eyes again, but didn’t want to be too rude and stare at the girl again (she noticed her red face just moments ago), she didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. 

So she waited with an internal debate. Her drinks were placed on a tray. She took it, turned around, and shoot a glance at the blonde girl, giving her a smirk. 

“Hey” said the girl. Almost under her breath, but Carmilla heard her. 

“Yeah?”

“You have nice mascara.” As soon as she realized she had just said that, she turned red as one of the finest beet. 

Carmilla laughed a bit and said “Thank you, cutie”, and she found herself bold at that, when just moments ago she was scared to just look at her. Turning, she was heading back to her booth. 

When the blonde girl returned to the two redheads with drinks, one of them said almost too loudly, “You did it, right Laura?”

“Did what, LaFontaine?” she asked a bit confused.

“Did you get her number?” 

“All i managed to do was make a fool of myself. She’s definitely out of my league. I went there sure i’d be able to talk and say at least something to initiate a conversation and instead i just stared like an idiot. When she was going back to her table, i said “hey” and i told her she had nice mascara. If that isn’t making a fool of yourself, i don’t know what is.” 

LaFontaine laughed soundly at that and Laura looked at them with narrowed eyes. “She’s definitely, totally, out of my league.”

The other redhead, Perry, who was listening closely, jumped in, “Oh my goodness Laura, you don’t even know her! Don’t jump to conclusions.” 

“Oh come on, you know i’m terrible at relationships, and at flirting.” 

“Well, we’ve never experienced you flirting with any of us, so we can’t know that. Maybe you just haven’t found the right girl to flirt with.” LaFontaine said.

“I might have to agree with them, for once.” Perry said smiling at them. 

Laura stretched her arms on the table and let her head fall on them, defeated. 

Kirsch was side eyeing Carmilla, who had a weird smile on her face. “What’s that smile for?” He asked, expecting her to tell them about the blonde girl who he had just talked to.

“Nothing, i was just thinking about going to find that cute girl.”

Danny asked right away, “Who is she? Point her to us!” Carmilla looked around, trying to find her figure, until her eyes landed on her. “Dark-haired girl at the table near the door.”

They both looked in that direction, and Kirsch was visibly confused. “Wait, who is that?” He asked.

“I told you i’ve been talking to her before Danny bored me with her problems.” 

“But...oh shit” he said, face palming himself. “Oh boy, what did you do?” Carmilla asked, knowing his fuck-up nature. 

“I saw a girl who’s been looking at you all night and genuinely thought it was the same girl you were referring to. Turns out it’s not. And i went there to tell her that you were kind of willing to get to know her. Ooops.”

“Who is she, then?” Carmilla asked, feeling curious. 

“Blonde girl at that booth.” He gestured his head in that direction. 

“That girl told me I have nice mascara.” She said laughing. “Oh please, she’s totally straight.” 

“Mm, yeah she gives me that vibe too.” Said Danny. 

“Well, my bladder is full and needs to be emptied.” Carmilla said standing up and heading towards the bathroom. “How elegant of you.” Danny shouted at her.

Carmilla opened the bathroom door and was met with a pair of eyes already looking at her. She froze. The girl who told her she looked hot was standing in front of her. She was feeling a bit tipsy, and she knew that that girl wanted what she wanted. She took some steps forwards and said “Forgive me..i was a bit rude earlier, what is your name?”

“I’m Chloe, nice to finally meet you properly. Yours?”

“I’m Carmilla.” Chloe offered her hand, waiting for Carmilla to take it. Carmilla thought for some seconds, grabbed it and went for one of the bathroom stall, closing its door behind them. The dark-haired girl kissed her as soon as they were face to face. Carmilla brought her hand through the girl’s hair behind her neck, making her moan. That moan made her feel a burst of pleasure through her whole body. Wanting more, she moved her other hand on the girl’s ass, squeezing it. The girl took it as a hint and started unzipping her own jeans. She brought her mouth near Carmilla’s ear and said “Fuck me.”

Without hesitation Carmilla slipped her hand down her pants, feeling her already wet on her underwear. The girl let out a loud moan. Just in that moment someone came into the bathroom shouting Chloe’s name. Carmilla stopped and quickly removed her hand from the girl’s pants. Chloe started to zip up her jeans and said “Oh shit that’s my boyfriend.”

“Excuse me?” Carmilla spit out. “I don’t want hetero drama, don’t come find me ever again.” With that she opened the stall door and went to wash her hands. 

A guy was standing in the middle and looked at the girl still in the bathroom stall, who was still straightening her shirt and closing the button on her jeans. He shouted at Carmilla “What the fuck were you thinking of doing? Fucking my girlfriend?”

“Oh you can ask her, i’m not the one who initiated shit.” Carmilla bit back and went to the sink to wash her hands. He looked at Chloe and said “Go to hell” and stormed out. Chloe approached Carmilla, when another girl came out of one of the bathroom stall and headed towards the sink, looking at them shyly. 

“I’m sorry, Carmilla.”

“Oh i’m ok, i don’t need apologies. Somebody else seems to need them. Rightly.” 

“But i want you, i want to be with you..i don’t want him!” The girl said looking almost tearful. Carmilla rolled her eyes at that. She didn’t like drama, and cringed when people made a big deal out of something that wasn’t remotely true. This girl didn’t even know her, how could she even say she wanted to be together. Some people are really naive. 

The girl who just exited the stall, was now washing her hands and looking at them. Chloe turned her eyes towards her and spit out “What the fuck are you looking at?” At that, Carmilla realized the girl looking at them was the blonde who had told her about the mascara. She smiled internally, not wanting to create additional drama. The blonde girl just took her eyes off of them and finished washing her hands. 

“I don’t want you, so please, just get lost.” Carmilla said. 

“Then don’t flirt with me!”

“Well, i won’t anymore, i don’t flirt with enormous bitches.” Chloe slapped Carmilla in the face at those words and ran outside of the bathroom. She didn’t deserve that. At all. But she was used to people being inconsiderate and aggressive with her, so she let it slip. She washed her face to try to cool off the redness. A paper hand towel was handed to her by the blonde girl, who was still there. “Here.”

“Thank you.” Carmilla said. “That was a nice show, right?”

“Oh sorry, i didn’t mean to listen and watch. I’m really really sorry.”

“Hey, i’m not reprimanding you, cutie. You just happened to be here and shit happened.” Carmilla said, drying off her face. 

“Well, are you okay?” Carmilla found herself taken aback by those words. No one really asks her if she’s ever okay and this girl looked genuine. Willing to know. Even though she was far from okay she replied, “Yes, thank you for asking.” After some moments of silence she spoke again, “Well, we already met..can i know your name?”. She blushed inexplicably and uncharacteristically. 

“So you remember. I’m Laura. You?” she asked smiling. 

“How could i forget? You were nice to my beloved mascara.”

Laura laughed, feeling herself already impressed at the brunette’s humor. “I was just being honest.”

“At least i know there’s something you like about me.” Carmilla said smugly, throwing the paper hand towel into the bin. 

“That’s not the only thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think and if there should be more. (the next chapter is almost done though)


	2. Brotherhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla is FREAKING precious and adorable. She has a moment with a family member.  
> An encounter at university develops things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm loving this Carmilla! Writing her is even better.  
> (smut is on its way ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

Carmilla’s phone buzzed. She was going to say something, but she took it out of her pocket and said “I’m sorry” with an apologetic look to Laura. Laura was still there, incredulous of the boldness of the words that had just left her mouth. Carmilla took some steps away and answered.

(Yes.) 

(What do you mean?)

(Ok, ok..where are you?)

(Can you just wait there? I’m on my way.) 

Saying those last words, she opened the bathroom door and was headed outside. Once she hung up, she realized she just left that girl in there without even saying something, without excusing herself and she felt bad, she felt like a bitch. That girl was being sweet and kind, and she just ran off. She didn’t even stop to say something to Kirsch and Danny.

Right now, there was something much more important that needed attention. 

\------------------------------

Laura was back at her booth. “So, she was having sex with someone she didn’t even know in the bathroom stall? Ew, gross.” LaFontaine said. 

“Gross what? The sex in the bathroom or the fact that it was someone she didn’t know?” Laura answered back.

“The second one.”

Perry looked at LaFontaine with shocked eyes. “Woah, i didn’t expect you to be so....what’s wrong with that?!” 

“Nothing, it’s just…” Perry interrupted them quickly. “Oh no no no, no “it’s just”, don’t judge people you don’t know.”

Laura was listening to their banter, but was also still in that bathroom, looking intensly at those hazel eyes.

LaFontaine added “I just think that she’s not the right girl for Laura, she doesn’t strike me as exactly caring.”

At the words “girl for Laura”, she chimed in saying “No one said anything about her being my girl.” It’s true that nothing like that was ever said, but she would lie, if she didn’t admit to herself that she had thought about that mysterious girl being close to her. 

“Oh my god, i can’t believe you’re being like this LaFontaine. You don’t even know that girl. We don’t know anything about her.” “Ok, ok, you’re right” they responded. 

“Nothing is going to happen, ok? I was just being a decent human being in that bathroom and then she had to go. I’ll probably never see her again.” Laura added to the whole conversation, but it was more something she added to her internal thinking, some sort of psychological analysis to what she was experiencing. 

\---------------------------------

Carmilla was climbing the last flight of stairs, thinking of what could have gone wrong. Her brother Will has always been pretty sincere with her sister, and always said if something was boggling his mind. This time was different. He was crying. Something Carmilla saw just once or twice in their whole life. 

She knocked on his apartment door. He opened with red eyes and immediately threw himself in Carmilla’s arms. 

“Hey Will, i’m here.” She moved inside without leaving him from her hug, she closed the door with her foot and started caressing his back with her hands. “It’s okay, i’m here” she said again, waiting patiently for whenever he felt like talking. 

With his head rested on Carmilla’s shoulder he said “It’s dad.”

Carmilla’s eyes went wide in confusion, shock and surprise. She didn’t know what to say. Her dad had never been present in her life. He left her mother when she came into this world and never came back. Will was older than her, 7 years older, so he got to live with him for a small amount of time. He always talked about their father, he was close to him when he was around and was really caring, from his stories. 

“Let’s sit on the couch and you can tell me.” They sat down, in front of them there was a little glass table with an ashtray (surprisingly empty) and a letter, which was already open. 

Will pointed at the letter and said “He sent me that..well not just me, us...he basically says he wants to meet us and start again, if we’ll allow him to.”

Carmilla took the letter and read it. It was a mediocre letter, not much emotion was put into it, it was short and brief, and essentially said what Will had just told her. She put it back onto the table and turned towards Will, “well, what do you want to do?” He just stared into the void and didn’t answer. So, she spoke again. “Do you want to go alone, do you want me to be there or do you not want to go at all?”

“Absolutely not! Not alone!” he almost shouted. “It’s okay, then i’ll be there with you.” Carmilla reassured him. 

“But wait..do you want to see him?” Will asked, realizing he was being a bit selfish and didn’t even consider if she cared to see him or if she was just as hurt as he was. 

“Yes Will, i want to. But even if i didn’t care about seeing him, i would never let you go on your own. I know how much he means to you. We’ll go together, okay?” She hugged him again and he mumbled a “thank you” that made her heart swell. 

After a moment he talked again “can you sleep here tonight?”

“Sure. Also because, i don’t really want to walk 25 minutes and go back home, i’m tired.”

“Come on, you can say that you do it because you love me.” 

“But then i’d be too cheesy, wouldn’t i?” she said raising her eyebrows.

“You never change, uh?” 

\------------------------------

Once she was under the sheets, she checked her phone. She needed to write something to Kirsch and Danny. She found a couple of messages from him.

Kirsch (23:22pm): where the hell did you flee??  
Kirsch (23:45pm): everything ok??

Carmilla (00:14pm): sorry guys. Something happened. Will called and he needed me. 

Kirsch(00:17pm): what happened???

Carmilla(00:19pm): our father wrote him a letter, he wants to see us. you know how he feels about that whole situation. I’ll tell you about it.

Kirsch(00:22pm): oh, that’s big stuff, yeah. so, that’s why he didn’t come to work. 

Carmilla(00:24pm): yeah, don’t worry about that, Claire covered for him. 

Kirsch(00:25pm): i just hope everything will be fine. so, i’ll see you both soon. Goodnight <3

Carmilla(00:28pm): night night.

She put the phone on the nightstand and sighed loudly. What a night. Her mind was clouded by too many thoughts. Her dad wanting to be back in their lives. A girl slapped her and moments before that, they were going to fuck in a bathroom stall. Will crying. Her brother crying is something she doesn’t want to see. And then, the last thought, almost hidden away in a little region of her mind. That girl she met tonight, Laura. She couldn’t quite put her finger on what this girl made her feel, but it was something, something different. With that last thought, she drifted off to sleep. 

\------------------------------

Sunday and the first two most horrible days of the week passed. Wednesday came. Carmilla was waiting for this day to arrive. She was a researcher at university, she worked in the philosophy field; at times she was asked to do lectures, other times she was asked to write articles or essays. There was going to be a talk at the university she worked at, a talk called “Emotions: a connection to art”. She was simply curious, she loved art, she loved emotions, she was always inclined to learn more, so why not go there?

As a researcher, she shared a little office with another person, a guy named Maximilian. The clock on the wall said 3:44pm. The talk started at 4:00pm, so she gathered her things, greeted her colleague and headed downstairs. 

She entered the lecture hall and immediately went to sit down in a seat at the end of a row. Noise caused by people talking and trying to find a place filled the room. A girl was standing right next to her.  
“Can i sit there?” she said pointing at the seat next to Carmilla.

“Yes, sure, it’s free.” Carmilla immediately recognized her. Sarah, a girl who worked in the same department as her, with whom she spent a couple of nights of average sex. She placed a little notebook and a pen on the table and waited for the talk to start. 

\------------------------------

“Hurry up, we are already late!” 

“Laura...It’s 3:56! We still have four minutes...we’re here!” LaFontaine said almost panting. 

At 4:00pm they were seated. “See, i told you we were going to be here in time! Look at my perfect timing Laura.” They gestured their wristwatch under her nose.

“Look at OUR perfect timing, ‘cause i told you to speed walk!”

“Speaking of “look at”, look who’s here.” They said smirking excessively. 

“What, who?” said Laura confused.

“Two rows ahead, on the left, last seat.”

Laura’s eyes were darting around, trying to focus on the direction given by her friend. When her eyes found that seat, she quickly removed them from there, almost as if she was afraid to be caught. 

“What’s she doing here?” said LaFontaine narrowing their eyes. 

“Pff, you’re one to talk. You’re here just because i asked you to go with me.” 

“Fair point. Maybe she studies here.”

After 30 minutes on the definition of art, Laura found herself looking every once in a while in that direction. Those long dark locks kept calling her. She could see her profile from where she was, and she could connect it to how much she vividly remembered her face. She thought about going to say “hi” after this was over, but she decided against it. Enough embarrassment for the current month. 

“Seems like she has company.” LaFontaine remarked. The girl next to Carmilla leaned in and started drawing circles using her pinky on the brunette’s hand. They exchanged a little smile. 

“Yeah..” was all Laura said, biting the inside of her mouth near her lips. 

The talk ended, everyone was gathering their stuff, people were leaving. Laura didn’t know what to do, she just wanted to dematerialize right there and be at home. That’s some utopian idea. So she stood up, put on her bag and started going towards the exit. 

“Oh crap, i remembered i had told Perry that i would have helped her to go buy groceries. She’s going to kill me, i have to go, bye Laura!” LaFontaine started running and Laura shook her head with a little smile. 

Great, now she was alone, chances of being an awkward self and not having someone to back her up, raised exponentially. She couldn’t find the dark locks in the chaos of all those people anymore. Some kind of relief expanded through her. She decided she wanted some hot chocolate, so she went to the vending machines. She inserted the money, pressed the button for that divine drink and waited. While waiting she looked around, and her eyes stopped at a figure who was looking back at her. Carmilla. 

Carmilla was leaned against a column at the first floor. The first floor had some hallways that were open, which meant that they faced the ground floor. Carmilla smiled and took her eyes off of her when the girl who was seated next to her before, called her attention. Laura was just starting to return the smile, but couldn’t make it because they were interrupted again. Can something ever go in her favor? 

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck’ she thought to herself, grabbed her hot chocolate and started drinking it aggressively. 

Laura went outside and realized it just started raining. She waited for a bit, contemplating what to do, under a little roof awning just outside the university entrance. In that moment, Carmilla was coming out and just started to take out of her bag an umbrella, when she noticed the blonde girl. She approached her and said “No umbrella?”

“Nope. No umbrella and i just burnt my tongue with hot chocolate.” Too much and unnecessary information here, Laura. 

“Well, it’s my turn to offer some help this time, isn’t it?” 

Laura just stared at her without saying a word. After a moment, Carmilla spoke again, “Where do you live?”

“Near High Park.”

“Oh, i live in that area too. Do you want to walk with me?” 

Laura pondered the situation. She could easily take a bus. But every cell in her body was telling her to get under that umbrella with her. “Yes, thank you, you’re very kind.” She quickly put both hands in her own pockets, in order to avoid any awkwardness on where to put them. 

“So..” Carmilla started, “are you a student or..?

“No, thank god that time has passed. I work for an art magazine and i came here for a talk about emotions and how they are connected to art.”

“I went there too! Didn’t see you though..then you write articles, am i correct?”

“Very much. I needed insights and infos for an article, that is due in a week.” 

They came to a red traffic light. They both turned to look at each other and Laura asked “What about you? You’re the student?”

Carmilla laughed and replied “I guess we’re both grown-ups here, cutie. I work there. I’m a researcher in the department of philosophy.” 

“Wow, that’s awesome!” They started walking again. “And...how old are you?” Laura asked.

“I’m 25, you?”

“Your age minus one.” At that, Carmilla smiled and closed her eyes for some seconds, feeling herself being captured and impressed by the weirdness of this girl, in a positive way. 

Some moments of silence engulfed them. Laura was visibly nervous, while Carmilla was looking at the city environment with an air of calmness. Laura noticed that and felt the nervousness immediately leave her whole body. There was something about this dark-haired girl that was special. She glanced at her profile and was taken by those traits. Her nose, those curious eyes, those lips that were lately addressed to her, curved up forming a beautiful smile. 

She was interrupted from these thoughts when she noticed they were approaching her building. “Uh..this is my place.” 

“So, we live really close to each other. I live on that second cross street on the left from here.” Carmilla observed. 

“Thank you again, i would have been pretty soaked right now if it wasn’t for you.”

“Well, sometimes that’s a good sign.” Carmilla replied back with a smirk. Laura blushed furiously. Seeing the blonde girl a bit uptight, she added, “I guess i’ll see you around..i wouldn’t mind that.” She smiled and started walking, leaving Laura frozen right there. She regained possession of her thoughts as soon as she felt her hair was beginning to get wetter and wetter, and quickly headed inside. 

She started undressing to get into something more comfortable, when she noticed she was smiling like an idiot. 

She couldn’t wait to see her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> opinions are always welcome!  
> tell me if you don't care much (or at all) about Carmilla's father. I'll keep it brief.
> 
> thank you for reading <3


	3. Shots and Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time at the pub. Dad meeting. Oblivious but kind of brave Laura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be smut in the next chapter. (but, between who?)  
> I just wanted to build a bit more in this.

_ I guess i’ll see you around..i wouldn’t mind that.  _

Laura kept repeating those words in her mind. She was in her bed, but couldn’t really make her brain shut down. Too many thoughts were keeping her awake. 

Did that girl mean that for real..or was it just imagination? 

Or was she just being kind? 

Will she see her again? 

\------------------------------

The end of the week was approaching. On Friday Laura agreed with LaFontaine and Perry to go grab a beer. She meticulously chose what to wear. She knew that probably Carmilla wouldn’t be there. Why would she? But yet, why wouldn’t she? So she picked a colorful skirt and a white shirt. Might as well hope and dress nicely. 

“Why are you always late, L?” LaFontaine asked as soon as Laura got to the table where they were seated. 

“Wha-I’m not!”

“Perry was able to drink two beers already and you know how much time she takes just for one.”

“I’m not drunk yet, if that’s what you’re trying to say.” Perry replied back to them. 

Laura eyed the place attentively. She was looking for those black locks. But they were nowhere to be seen. She unconsciously pouted and Perry noticed that.

“What’s wrong honey?”

“Nothing, why?”

“Ooooh, i know what’s happening here.” LaFontaine stepped in. 

“What?” Perry asked with wide eyes.

“Someone has a crush.”

“That’s not true, not crush crush..have you seen her?! She’s sexy as hell. I can’t help it, ok?” Laura admitted honestly.

“Is that your way of saying you need to get laid?” LaFontaine asked. Laura just narrowed her eyes at them.

“Who are you talking about? The girl from last week?” 

“Yes..what can i say, she’s magnetic. But she’s not here tonight, so nothing..” After saying those words, Laura found herself looking around the pub searching for someone.

Again. 

LaFontaine went to order some beers and when she came back, she said with a smile, “I guess you might be really lucky Laura, that guy who came by our table last week is here.”

She looked up and saw Kirsch waving at her, she smiled at him, but noticed that just a redhead was at the table with him. 

She told herself that Carmilla might just be in the bathroom. The word ‘bathroom’, even if not said out loud, brought out memories from last week. Carmilla in the bathroom stall fucking some girl. Carmilla kissing someone’s mouth. Was she being jealous? She immediately tried to fight these thoughts off. 

She came back to reality, when Kirsch appeared in front of her. 

“Hey there! I thought i recognized you.” He said directly to Laura. He continued, “sorry for me being maybe too intrusive on Saturday.”

“Oh no, someone appreciated it.” LaFontaine added right away. Laura tried to ignore the comment, and Kirsch noticed something. He understood what was going on, but said nothing.

Perry and LaFontaine introduced themselves. He then asked, “Do you guys want to come sit with us? We’ve just ordered some shots, if you want to join me and my friends.”

‘Friends’. Plural. 

Laura immediately said “Yes! Why not?” with a high-pitched voice. If he said ‘friends’, he’s not here just with the redhead, so, the chances of it being Carmilla increased. 

They all stood up and followed Kirsch. “This is my friend Danny.” “These are Laura, LaFontaine and Perry.”

“How are you doing?” Danny asked them. “But where is Will with our shots?” she groaned. 

“I’m here bitch, i just got off, and prepared these, give me a break.” Will shouted at her, placing down on the table a tray with a lot of shot glasses. 

They all introduced themselves and Laura looked at him carefully. He had something familiar, but couldn’t quite understand what. They all took a shot and downed it. 

“So, is your sister coming or what? I need to update her about something.” Danny asked Will, putting the shot glass back on the tray.

“Yes she is, she just needed to finish reading something. She texted me 15 minutes ago and said she was leaving, she should be here now.” He added, “Oh if it’s about your sex life, i’m sure she doesn’t care.”

“Right, of course she gets bored talking about it. I would too if i fucked-around and had sex practically every night.” Danny retorted. 

“Would you stop that?” Kirsch replied back at her. 

Will noticed they were leaving out of the conversation the three new people present at the table, and kindly said to them, “Sorry, we’re talking about my sister Carmilla. She’s a bit of a weirdo and a loner sometimes, but you’ll love her.”

Realization hit Laura. As soon as those words were said, she wanted to be as much subtle as she could, in order to try to contain the smile, but couldn’t. His nose and the way his mouth curved up when smiling, were a copy of Carmilla’s traits.

But wait. 

_ Ouch _ . Laura thought to herself. So, was she that kind of girl? Is she the I-just-fuck-around kind of girl? 

Kirsch saw the smile and said with a smirk, “Laura and Carmilla have already met. They seem to get along.” Laura blushed and wanted to hide under the table, when someone approached them. 

“Is it a fun night or am i here to make it better and improve its quality?” Carmilla greeted everyone with a smile. The smile got locked on Laura.

“Always full of yourself, uh?” Danny bit back.

“Go get everyone another round, i’m paying.” Carmilla said to Danny. 

“Ops, you can be nice sometimes.” Said Danny fake smiling at her and getting up to go to the bar counter. 

There were no chairs free and Carmilla was just standing there. Laura scooted over a bit in the booth, to allow her to have some space to sit. “Here.”

“You’re always too kind with me.” She sat down. Their legs were touching and she could feel the warmth radiating from the blonde girl. 

Danny was back in no time, with all the shots. Everyone took one, except for Carmilla. Kirsch asked her, “You’re not drinking? Seriously?”

“No, i’m driving and i just didn’t want to.”

With a good amount of alcohol in her body, Perry asked everybody, “Dancing?”

“Pass.” Carmilla said. “I need to talk with Will about something.” Laura wanted to stay, but figured it was something personal, so she stood up and followed Perry. He and Carmilla were left alone at the booth. 

“So...we’re meeting him on Sunday?” She asked.

“If you still want to...yes.”

“Yes, i was just making sure you were ok with this. Maybe your decision was a bit rushed, but i see you’re convinced.”

“I am, we’re in this together.” He smiled wholeheartedly at her. “But we’re going to talk about this kind of stuff when it’s time, not now, come on..let’s change subject, are you here with someone or looking for someone?”

“Actually no, i’m fine like this.”

“Mmh.”

“Mmh what?”

“I know that’s not true. I saw you.”

“What are you getting at?” She huffed.

“I saw you smiling at Laura, the new girl who is here with us.”

“I just know her, we met last week and saw her at a talk. She’s just cute, can’t i smile at a cute girl? Carmilla said smugly.

“HA, HA, now we’re talking!” He smirked at her. 

“You’re stupid, nothing is going to happen, i don’t even know if she’s gay.”

“Let’s find out!” He got up, took Carmilla’s hand and grabbed her to look for the rest of the group. The pub was filled with people. Will stopped for a moment to say hi to a friend, and Carmilla just stood there. She spotted Laura dancing. A guy, who was facing Laura’s back, was dancing admittedly too close to her. The guy’s hands found their way to Laura’s waist and she jerked. Carmilla noticed that it was unwanted and wanted to run there immediately, but didn’t. The guy tried to place his hands on her again and Carmilla felt her legs move, almost automatically. 

She approached Laura and grabbed her hand and said to the guy “Don’t you see you’re making someone uncomfortable?” 

He eyed them and looked down at their intertwined hands. “Oooh, you’re lesbians.”

“Yes we are!” Laura bit back, surprised by her own boldness. Carmilla’s presence made her feel safe, that’s probably why those words escaped her mouth.

Carmilla dragged her away and headed back to the booth.

When they both sat down Laura said, “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, cutie.” Laura just smiled.

Carmilla looked at her, “That was smart. I’ll give you that.”

“Smart?”

“Yeah, pretend to be lesbians or a couple just to get rid of him.”

“I was not being smart, i was being honest. Well, apparently i am both smart and gay.” She said smugly. 

Carmilla felt herself impressed and raised her eyebrows. “I like those qualities in a girl.” And initiated a smugness contest between the two of them.

“Good to know.”

The rest of the group came back at the booth. Perry and LaFontaine said they were going to head home, because they both worked the next day. They looked at Laura, as if to ask if she was okay with staying, and she said, “I’m staying a bit more, it’s my turn to offer some drinks.” The two redheads greeted everyone and Laura went to the bar counter to order. 

Carmilla followed her. She snuck up behind her, “Are you offering me something too?”

“You said you’re not drinking tonight!” 

“I was not talking about a drink.”

Laura looked at her intensely in the eyes. She couldn’t understand if she was being flirty or if she meant she really wanted a non-alcoholic drink or something. Being tipsy was not good for this moment. Her mind was a bit foggy.

“Maybe later.” She just said, in order to avoid any misinterpretation. 

Carmilla said smiling, “Fine. Play hard to get”, took the drinks that the bartender just gave them and went back to the rest of their friends. Laura just stood there for a moment, even more unable to understand what was happening. She was flirting, right?

The rest of the night was filled with stories from everyone. Carmilla was the only one a bit laid-back, she was still a bit preoccupied about the meeting with her father. She was pleased to see their friends be nice with Laura, and pleased to see she enjoyed their company. 

“Ok, that’s the last one..i guess..” Danny shouted putting down an empty glass.

Laura looked at her, “Yep, for me too, i think i’m drunk.” 

“Carmilla will you take us home, pleeeease?” Kirsch begged her.

“I’ll be the taxi tonight, yeah, if you promise me next time i can drink.”

“Sure, let’s go.” Kirsch, Danny and Will all went outside. 

Carmilla noticed Laura didn’t stand up. “Everything ok, there?”

“Yeah, just need a moment to get up.” Carmilla offered her hand. Laura took it and stood up saying, “Now you’re the one being kind, we have to stop this kindness thing.”

“Why? I like it.” Carmilla admitted. They reached the rest of the group, but there was just Kirsch.

“Will and Danny went home on foot, they said they needed fresh air, i don’t blame them...can i open the window and stick my head outside?”

“Sure, unless i don’t find vomit in my car, you can do whatever you want, boy.”

The ride was pretty silent. Kirsch was in the back seat and Laura in the passenger one. All of a sudden he said, “Don’t you ever wish you had someone to go home to?” He paused for a bit and then added, “because i do.” Laura turned her head and said looking at him “Me too..”. She turned facing the road again, and let her head fall on the headrest, she slightly turned looking at Carmilla. She knew she couldn’t quite see her, she was focused on the road. She just gazed at her longingly. 

“First stop!” Carmilla announced, slowing down the car. 

“Thank you nice lady, i’ll see myself out and leave you two alone. Byee!” Kirsch ran awkwardly towards his house’s door.

They both were enveloped in a calming silence, when Carmilla stopped the car. When she saw Laura wasn’t moving to hop off she said, “We’re here, cutie.”

Laura leaned forward and rested her arms on her legs. She closed her eyes. She was smiling. She didn’t even know why. The alcohol makes you really do weird things. 

“Do you need help standing up?” Laura just nodded. Carmilla got off the car, reached the other side of it, and opened the car door. “Come on, put your arm around my neck.” 

Laura did what she was told and took some zig zag steps forward. “I think i won’t be able to climb the steps without a support..”

“Ok, i’ll help you get inside.”

Once they opened the door, Laura was just standing in the middle of the kitchen. “I’m not feeling very good. I think i need to go lay down.”

Carmilla didn’t know what to do. Was she supposed to hug her and say goodnight or did she need to make sure she went to bed safe?

Laura seemed to read her thoughts and launched herself forward hugging Carmilla. 

“Thank you for the ride back home..i had a great night.” 

“It was my pleasure.”

Laura just moved her head a bit and her nose was mingling through Carmilla’s hair. God, she smelled good. 

Carmilla broke the moment saying, “Let’s make sure you get into bed.”

“You don’t even know where my bedroom is!”

“Well, lead the way.”

Carmilla followed her through a long hallway, at the end of which there was just one room. It was big, a queen-size bed was placed in the middle, on the left there was a little reading nook with a big window. Carmilla was already in love with this place. On the other side of the room, there was a wardrobe and a door, which lead to a bathroom.

Laura removed her shoes, let herself fall on her bed and closed her eyes. 

“I love this place.” There was no answer from Laura. Carmilla went back to the kitchen. She figured a glass of water was a good thing to have on the nightstand. So she looked through the cupboards and when she finally found a glass, she filled it and brought it back to the bedroom. 

She noticed Laura had removed her clothes and was now under the sheets, with her back rested on the headboard. She placed the glass on the nightstand and sat down on the bed near the blonde girl. 

“I hope you sleep well.” 

“My head will probably hurt tomorrow..but i liked it tonight, so who cares.” 

“I liked it too. If you need anything else, just tell me, an advil or whatever.” Carmilla smiled at her.

Laura smiled back at her. “You have to stop being so kind with me.”

“Why would i do that?”

“I know you’re trying to lure me into sleeping with you!” 

“I am not!” Carmilla brought one hand to her chest. She thought the blonde was cute, but she really wasn’t trying anything right now. However, the idea of spending some time in sexual activities with her, surely had crossed her mind.

Laura’s face became serious all of a sudden. “Can i hug you again?” 

Carmilla just opened her arms, allowing the blonde girl to do what she asked. Laura wrapped her arms around her neck, she brushed against Carmilla’s ear with her nose. Her own words from just moments ago resounded in her head. 

_ I know you’re trying to lure me into sleeping with you!  _

Suddenly she thought if that were to be the truth. She wanted to kiss her. She could feel that. And she was pretty sure Carmilla wouldn’t say no to that. After all, wasn’t she flirting with her before? Or maybe it was the alcohol making her think that.

Laura brought down one hand, touching the length of Carmilla’s body, and rested it on her hip. She nipped at her ear, “These leather pants look really good on you.”

Carmilla wasn’t responding. She just raised her eyebrows in surprise. She loved the way Laura’s hands were touching her so lightly, but she moved back a bit, placed her hand on Laura’s, and said, “you’re drunk.”

Laura immediately broke away from the hug. “I’m sorry..i didn’t mean to..it’s just that i like your company, i’d like to be friends and..” Carmilla stopped her. “You’re drunk. And as much as i want it too, I just think this is not the right moment to bond.”

“You’re right, i am drunk.”

“Goodnight Laura. See you soon.” Carmilla kissed her on the cheek and stood up. 

“Goodnight.”

Carmilla left the bedroom and closed the door.

As Laura was left on the bed in her thoughts, she remembered words spoken just moments ago.

_ As much as i want it too, i just think this is not the right moment to bond. _

“It”? What did she mean by “it”? Because Laura was clearly going to kiss her. Then she covered it and said the stupid thing about being friends. So, did Carmilla mean she wanted the kiss or the friendship?

A fucking mess, that’s what i am, she thought. 

When Carmilla was back in her car, she played on rewind this last night’s moments. She wanted so much to kiss Laura, but couldn’t do that. It felt like she was taking advantage of the fact that she was drunk and that didn’t feel right at all. Plus, that would have been a first kiss, she didn’t want it to be some random, probably forgotten (on Laura’s part), moment. 

\------------------------------

The next morning Laura woke up, feeling unbelievably well rested and with just a small thumping in her head. She remembered almost everything from the night before. Especially the dark-haired girl being extremely considerate with her. How she took care of her and how kind she was. Maybe kindness was her kink, that’s why she was so attracted to her. 

Is kindness even a kink?

Well, it is now.

She also remembered Carmilla’s last words. 

_ Goodnight Laura. See you soon  _

Thinking about how much the word ‘soon’ meant, she realized she didn’t even had her phone number or didn’t know how to contact her. She sighed, knowing she would have to show at the Sandstorm hoping to find her there. Hope. That’s what lesbians do, right? 

She stood up, washed her face and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. Her eyes landed on the kitchen table and didn’t remember a piece of paper there. She took it. And read it.

**_Hope you slept well._ **

**_If you want to get to know each other better, this is my number, not some random numbers i wanted to write down ;)_ **

**_Hit me up._ **

**_Carmilla_ **

Laura laughed and smiled widely. 

Well, sometimes lesbians read each other’s mind. That’s some powerful thing going on there. 

She immediately saved her number, recognizing that that piece of paper would be lost in no time, knowing herself. But decided to wait a bit before actually texting her. 

\------------------------------

The day Carmilla and Will were anxiously waiting for, came. Their father had left a phone number in the letter. Will had texted him to agree on where and when to meet. On Sunday, they were standing outside a bar, the arranged place. Waiting for their father. 

A man approached them. “Will?” Will nodded.

“I’m Benjamin, your father..i’m happy to see you both here.”

Will was shocked because he didn’t recognize him and didn’t remember at all his face. 

Carmilla didn’t know what to do, so she looked at him, “Shall we head inside?”

Their father nodded, “sure. I’d love a good coffee.” 

They sat at a table, far from the door and the counter. However, the bar was quiet. 

Benjamin talked after some moments of silence, “I find you both well now.”

“Funny, because you’re in no position to really make a comparison. You didn’t know if we were well, let’s say, 3 years ago.” Carmilla found herself angry. An emotion she never actually felt for her father, it was more just plain sadness, not anger. But now it surfaced, it had probably been blocked down under a thick barrier she had placed in the thoughts regarding her father. 

“She’s right.” Will jumped in. 

“Ok, ok..you deserve to know.” He lifted his hands, as to show defeat. “Well, your mother and I loved each other dearly for a lot of time. I had a habit of drinking, and when we were waiting for you, Carmilla, to be born, i started asking myself if i would have been able to raise another kid. Until you were born everything was fine. Then i started drinking again, but a lot this time. I used to come home drunk and always confessed your mother i didn’t want another kid. That it was a mistake. We fought a lot, and your mother told me to go away and never show my face again. And i did that.”

“You did that for a very long time.” Will interrupted him. 

“I went to a rehab center. After some time, i met a woman and we fell in love. I’m still with this woman now. But i was too scared and coward to come back to you two.” He paused for a while, “i know saying i’m sorry doesn’t mend anything, but i just want you two to know that i’ve always thought about you.”

“And now you’d like to be in our lives? I mean..constantly or you just wanted to say this?” Will asked.

“Constantly. If you’re okay with it too, of course.” 

“I’m fine with it. But i want you to be respectful towards us, if we need time or if we find any difficulty in connecting with you.” Will just spoke what Carmilla was thinking. She then added, “Yeah, I’m going to need some time. I’m going to go now. See you soon Will.” She stood up, just shot a glance at his father and left. 

\------------------------------

Carmilla was back at her place. Sprawled on the couch, without any energy to cook something, and it was almost time to eat. Her energies had been drained by the afternoon spent meeting a father she didn’t know.

His words were still clear in her mind.

_ Until you were born everything was fine. _

_ Confessed your mother i didn’t want another kid.  _

_ That it was a mistake. _

A mistake. 

The words hit her like a truck at full speed. She started crying. She had never cried before for her father. This was all new, a new person, a new possible connection, new emotions. 

There was another new person in her life, though. One that probably wouldn’t make her cry right now. She reached for her phone, that was on the table in front of the couch, and checked if she had any messages. Checked if Laura had texted her or called her. Nothing. Another wave of sadness hit her. 

She stood up and went to the fridge, made herself a sandwich and sit back on the couch.

She ate it, and fell asleep. Once she woke up, she checked the phone again and found a message. 

Laura(8:08pm): Hi, this is Laura. Thank you again for last night! I found the little piece of paper you left, obviously lol 

Laura(8:09pm): how are you doing on this rainy Sunday evening?

Carmilla(9:22pm): hey, glad i wrote my number correctly ;)

Carmilla(9:23pm): just woke up from a nap, was tired by the day

Laura(9:28pm): did you do something fun?

Carmilla(9:30pm): not really

Laura(9:31pm): well, rise and shine, tomorrow starts a new work week!

Carmilla(9:33pm): yeah 

Did she say something wrong? Laura was a bit confused as to why she was responding with monosyllabic words.

Laura(9:35pm): is there something wrong?

Carmilla(9:37pm): no, not really, don’t worry

Laura(9:38pm): is it because of yesterday night? i’m sorry about me pushing you!

Carmilla(9:40pm): you didn’t push anything. it’s not you, cutie, don’t worry

Laura(9:43pm): mm, okay..

Carmilla(9:46pm): really, it’s not you. it’s just my father, i was with him this afternoon..

Laura(9:48pm): do you want to talk about it? i’m here if you’d like

Carmilla(9:49pm): not right now, but thank you. You still haven’t told me if you slept well ;)

Laura had been tense and worried for the entire conversation, until now. She smiled a bit. She also didn’t want Carmilla to be upset, but didn’t really know how to cheer her up, since they didn’t know each other that well. She remembered something though.

Laura(9:53pm): i did u.u 

Laura(9:54pm): listen, my friend Perry is throwing a party this week. I was wondering if you wanted to go with me. You could also ask your friends, if they want to..Perry always says ‘the more the merrier’, i’m sure she doesn’t mind

Carmilla(9:57pm): well, ask her if that’s fine, and then tell me. i’d like that very much. 

Laura(10:01pm): yay! are you drinking, if you come to the party?

Carmilla(10:03): why are you asking me now, cupcake? ahaha

Laura(10:05): just to know..

Carmilla(10:06): just to know, uh?

Laura(10:08): i actually want to get to know you, i don’t want to drink and do stupid stuff. i already did, kind of..

Carmilla(10:10): you didn’t do anything wrong. 

Carmilla(10:26): can’t wait to see the non-stupid things you do then. Goodnight :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	4. You're beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party and some exciting aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone!  
> I promised something and here it is ;)  
> Also it's deadass long, ooops

Laura woke up and saw Carmilla’s text from last night. She had fallen asleep.

_ can’t wait to see the non-stupid things you do then. Goodnight :) _

She smiled. She couldn’t wait for the party, she didn’t want to mess things up with Carmilla. A strong desire to become close to her was getting bigger and bigger. 

Later in the day she wrote her a message.

Laura(3:55pm): Hey! I asked Perry, you and all of your friends are super welcome! :)

Carmilla(4:20pm): great! i’m looking forward to it

Laura(4:26pm): do you maybe want to go together? since, you know, we live close to each other 

Carmilla(4:30pm): you read my mind, i was going to ask that ;)

Laura(4:35pm): see you on Thursday then :)

Carmilla(4:44pm): see you on Thursday, cupcake.

* * *

Laura had told Carmilla to show up at her house at around 8pm. It was 7:40pm and she was getting dressed. She was waiting for this day since the beginning of the week, but at the same time, now she hated this situation, just because anxiety was eating her alive. She couldn’t wait for Carmilla to arrive, so she could relax a bit. Carmilla had that kind of power on her. She was a calming presence for Laura.

Carmilla(8:01pm): i’m right here :)

Laura took all of her things and headed outside. She looked at the figure waiting for her at the end of the driveway...already the death of her. 

Carmilla greeted her with a smile. “You look stunning, cupcake.”

Laura was wearing squared grey pants, a white long sleeve chiffon blouse and her hair was beautifully wavy. Carmilla just stared at her for some moments. Laura blushed, “you’re one to talk.”

Carmilla just chuckled and said, “shall we go?”

* * *

Laura rang the doorbell and almost immediately the door swung open. A blonde girl greeted them, “Hello ladies..oh hi Laura, it’s been a while!”

“Hi Betty! How are you?”

Betty was this chipper girl who went to the same college as Laura and has always liked to party. They never really bonded, but they had had some fun at college parties together.

“I’m at a party, i’m great! You remember Justin, right? He’s here, he brought a date, they’re so cute!”

“The psychology guy?”

“Yes! Is this your date?” Betty said, pointing to Carmilla.

Carmilla shoot a glance at Laura and lowered her head, with a little hint of a smile.

“Oh no, we’re just friends.” Laura responded, feeling herself heat up in the face. 

“Well, come on in!”

The house was pretty big. It had two floors and a big garden, full of flowers and plants of all kinds. Downstairs there were a kitchen, a dining room, a bathroom, a bedroom and a large room with a bordeaux corner sofa, a table and various armchairs. It was extremely cozy and Carmilla immediately mentally checked that she would look for a corner sofa like that for her place. 

“Hi! So, you came Carmilla, i’m happy, you’re very welcome here.” Perry said as soon as they found her in the confusion of people.

“Thanks, i couldn’t resist.”

“Do you girls want anything to drink?” 

“Just a beer for me.” Carmilla said. “I’ll take the same.” Laura added.

Perry fled to the kitchen and they both followed her.

“Here are your beers..if you want anything else, feel free to serve yourselves, there are beers, wine, rum, and other stuff, just look around.” 

“Oh i’m not drinking tonight, a beer is fine, but thank you.” Carmilla responded.

“Whatever you feel like it.” With that, Perry was heading to the door to greet some new people.

“Sooo..you’re not drinking?” Laura asked leaning on the kitchen island.

“No, i want to get to know you.” 

“You’re copying me then, uh?”

“Apparently we’re on the same page, cutie.” 

Laura didn’t respond to that, she just eyed the brunette girl in front of her. She was dressed casually, some jeans and a blue sweater, but she radiated sexiness and sensuality. 

After some moments, Carmilla asked, “friends, uh?”

“What?” Laura was confused.

“You said we’re friends to your friend when we arrived.” Carmilla knew what she was doing here.

“Um, yeah, isn’t that right?”

“Well, if that’s what you want.” In that moment, Kirsch appeared in front of them and hugged Carmilla breaking the conversation. 

“Hey there, blondie! Can i steal Carmilla from you for a minute?”

“Sure, go ahead!”

Laura was left alone in her thoughts. 

_ Well, if that’s what you want. _

No, that’s not what she wanted. She wanted to scream that, and made herself clear to Carmilla, why was that so hard? Carmilla was being subtle and at the same time she wasn’t, and that confused her a lot, but she was determined to do something about it. Not just friends, she wanted to be something more.

* * *

“Oh my god, you came here with her?”

“Yes, why are you so surprised, Kirsch?” Carmilla said.

“Like, as in your date?”

“She’s not my date..” 

“But wait, you like her?”

“Who doesn’t she like?” Danny replied back, while refilling her glass.

They were all standing near the kitchen island. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Carmilla bit back.

“Just..that you like all girls, i’ve never seen you say no to someone.”

“Ah, you think you know me. Excuse me, but i need to go to the bathroom. Keep making snarky comments about me.”

Just in that moment Laura was opening the fridge, which was to the other side of the kitchen counter. She heard Carmilla’s name and opened her ears.

“Carmilla’s into her?”

“Of course she likes her, have you seen her? She brought her home the other day…”

Mm, that could be me, but also someone else, Laura thought.

“...and she probably came here tonight because of her.” 

Ok. This is interesting. Unless she knows somebody else at this party, it must be her, right?

“Oh come on, she’s clearly doing all of this to fuck her.”

“Don’t be a bitch, Danny! You know relationships are hard for her, damn, they’re hard for everyone.”

“When does she ever care for someone and plus, she always says she doesn’t want relationships, so..”

Perry interrupted the nasty comments, “if anyone wants, we’re playing some games in there!”

“Uuuhh, yes Mario Kart, let’s go!” Kirsch said grabbing Danny by the wrist. 

Laura took some pretzels and bumped into Carmilla, as she was going to find the others. 

“Want some?” Laura gestured to the bowl in her hands.

“Nope, come!” 

They ran towards the room where everyone was. There were people on the sofa playing Mario Kart. People seated on the floor playing some weird board games. Carmilla sat down on the last available chair at the table where they were starting to play Pictionary. Laura just stood there beside her. 

“Want to sit, cupcake?” 

“Oh don’t worry, you play.”

“No, come on, sit here.” Carmilla gestured to her lap.

“Really?” Laura was already starting to heat up in her whole body. This would have been the second time they’d be really close to each other. 

“Sure, i’m not going to tickle you, i promise.”

Laura smiled at her and sat on her lap. She felt the brunette’s warmth already have an effect on her. Carmilla brought her own arms and hands on the table, wrapping Laura by her arms’ sides. 

Carmilla was paired up with LaFontaine and Laura was just there witnessing the whole game. 

“Is that supposed to be a strap-on?” Carmilla asked LaFontaine.

“Yes!! You’re good at this!”

“I didn’t remember Pictionary being this adult-themed.” Laura chimed in. 

“We remodeled it, it had to be, it’s funnier and interesting stories pop up.” LaFontaine said. “For example, have you ever used one Carmilla?”

“LaF, that’s a bit personal.” Perry added.

“Oh no worries.” Carmilla said looking at Perry. “No, but i’ve always wanted to try.”

At those words Laura felt something hot pool inside of her lower belly. She so wanted not to think about that, but found it pretty hard, since her own body was pressed against the person she was thinking about. Fuck, tonight is going to be hard.

“Well i have, it’s fun and exciting, if done with the right person, obviously. I’m going to recommend you something later.” LaFontaine said winking.

“Alright!” Carmilla said looking up at Laura, who was smiling shyly. Carmilla found that shyness adorable.

After some turns, Carmilla felt her legs a bit numb and tried to move them a bit. Laura noticed that, “do you want me to get up?”

“No no, i just need to stretch them a moment.” Laura stood up a minute to give Carmilla the time to regain the feeling of her legs. She sat back down and Carmilla brought her hands around Laura’s torso and hugged her. She placed her head on Laura’s left arm and said, “stay here.”

Laura smiled, Carmilla couldn’t see that, but it was one of the most joyous smiles. 

“Is that...no, i can’t understand! Draw something more Carmilla!”

“Uh i know what that is!” Laura said all of a sudden. 

“Whisper it in my ear.” Carmilla said.

(“Lube?”), Laura asked? Carmilla nodded to her.

“Go ahead and say it, i have no idea and time’s up anyway.” LaFontaine said to Laura.

“It’s lube..” A guy who was playing with them suddenly said, “that’s right, ‘cause she draw two people’s first time, and often it is required some lube.” 

“Sometimes you need it, sometimes you don’t.” Carmilla answered back.

Perry interrupted by saying, “i forgot to make you see the new garden shed! I installed a tv inside! Come!” 

Everyone got up and headed outside. “I’m quickly going to go to the bathroom and then join you all.” Laura said walking away.

When she came back, the house was empty, she could hear muffled voices coming from the garden. She passed the hallway and saw Carmilla near the fridge.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was waiting for you..and in the meantime i grabbed a glass of juice.” 

“You can’t stay away from me, uh?” Laura said clearly joking.

Carmilla took the chance and responded seriously, “oh, you have no idea.” She put the glass down and put both her hands on the kitchen island, blocking and enclosing Laura. 

Those hazel eyes were so penetrating that Laura felt her legs go weak. 

“..I don’t?”

“No.” 

“What’s the idea then?” Where did this courage come from?

Carmilla was leaning in and Laura was expecting a chaste kiss on her lips, but the brunette aimed downwards at the neck. She placed a light kiss on the right side of her neck. Laura audibly gasped, it was inevitable, she wasn’t expecting that at all.

Carmilla looked up and met her gaze, she placed another one in the same spot and Laura closed her eyes. She then brought her mouth up, and kissed the blonde on the side of the mouth. This was almost unbearable. Laura couldn’t wait any longer and moved her head just a bit, finally locking lips with Carmilla. It was hungry. Both of them were. The pool in her lower belly was now stronger and hotter than before. Laura brought her hands through Carmilla’s hair and made her moan. She moaned back as a response, almost automatically, when they were brought out of their bubble by loud voices approaching them. 

Laura quickly moved from the kitchen island, pushing Carmilla a little too harshly. The dark-haired girl noticed that and frowned.

“Here you are Carmilla! Where the hell is Laura?” LaFontaine asked as soon as walking back into the house.

“Um...i was just looking for her.” She lied, realizing while looking around, that she had disappeared. 

“Ok, well, go find her, we’re going to play some games.”

“Alright.” Carmilla said, heading towards the other rooms on that floor. Not finding her there, she went for the stairs.

_ Maybe she’s upstairs. But what the fuck happened.  _

She thought that maybe she had read the blonde signals wrong. She slapped mentally and cringed at herself for having probably made her uncomfortable. 

She opened the bathroom door, the last room where she had to look. Laura was sat on the edge of the bathtub, with her hands on her knees. 

Carmilla was almost shocked. 

_ Oh my god, did i to this? _

“Hey..is everything ok?” Carmilla asked slowly walking in and closing the door behind her.

No response came back, and she tried again, “I’m really sorry..i didn’t mean to..fuck, i shouldn’t have done that.”

Laura stood up, those brown eyes looking timidly at her. “Done what, Carmilla?”

“Kissed you. I’m really really sorry..”

“Don’t be.”

Carmilla raised her gaze surprised.

“Do that again, please.” Laura said. 

“You..you want me to kiss you?”

“Yes..maybe you thought i ran here because i was scared..but, actually, that kiss scared me because i was enjoying it and people were barging in on us and..”

“Stop.” Carmilla brought her hands to Laura’s hips, the blonde closed her eyes at the contact. Her lips were captured by Carmilla’s in a matter of seconds and she didn’t even realize how quickly that had happened. 

Laura’s hands were instantly brought through Carmilla’s hair. The kiss got heavier by the moments, Carmilla broke the kiss and just looked at the blonde’s lips. She leaned in again and her tongue asked permission pressing on her lower lip. Laura opened her mouth and allowed the tongue and a myriad of other feelings inside. 

Carmilla’s hands were roaming around Laura’s back. One hand was placed on the outside of the blonde’s thigh, going up to her hip and down again. Laura could feel herself getting hotter and wanting for more. She took Carmilla’s hand and brought it to the front of her pants, pressing there. She wanted her. So much.

“Wait..wait..” Carmilla said. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Not here, cutie.” She smirked saying that. 

Laura smiled, realizing nothing was wrong and something probably pretty enjoyable was awaiting her. “Let’s go”, Carmilla said, taking her hand and heading downstairs. 

She was determined to excuse herself and tell LaFontaine and Perry she had to go, but Kirsch came out of nowhere and took Carmilla by her arm, and went running towards the room where everyone was playing.

“Ok, you against me and Kirsch.” LaFontaine shouted at Carmilla handing her the controller. She turned her head looking for Laura and when she found her, she made an apologetic smile. Laura just smiled shyly at her. 

After some games, they were walking back home together. At first, a bit of awkward silence was there, but it progressively vanished as they started to talk about the night just spent. Without mentioning any kiss or intimate move they had shared before.

It was 11:50pm when they approached Laura’s home. 

“Well, thank you for tonight..um, it was nice. I even beat you at that stupid game Kirsch forced me to play.” Laura said smugly. 

“Oh come on, i practically let you win.”

“Sure. You’re so generous, uh?”

“I can be. I can be very generous.” Laura couldn’t do anything but catch the innuendo. Or at least what she thought it was. 

After some moments of silence, Carmilla asked, “do you..do you want to go to my place?”

Laura was enamored by the sudden nervousness of the dark-haired girl. 

“Do you have any cookies or some sweets at home?” 

Carmilla frowned, not getting why did that matter, but answered straight away nonetheless, “yes i do.”

“I think i’ve got a low blood sugar.” 

Carmilla just chuckled and found herself impressed by this girl.

“Here are your cookies. You’re lucky i don’t eat those things and just keep them for guests.” Carmilla placed the bag on the table in front of the couch. 

“Thank you.” When she saw Carmilla heading back to another room, she asked, “will you not sit here with me?” 

“I’m just going to get you a glass of water, cupcake.” 

Just adorable, Laura thought. 

“So..i am your guest.” Laura said, as Carmilla plopped down on the couch. 

“A very pleasant one.” 

“Just pleasant?” Laura asked, pretending to be mildly offended.

“No..” Carmilla said, moving closer. “Definitely not just pleasant.” She traced a path with her index finger on the blonde’s thigh. 

“We kind of interrupted something earlier..” Laura began, but couldn’t find the words to finish her sentence.

Carmilla seemed to have noticed that and jumped in, “that’s a shame, right?”

“Yeah..” Still no other words escaped Laura’s mouth. Carmilla’s index finger was now tracing the length of Laura’s jaw.

“I think we should continue that..what do you say?” Carmilla asked looking for the blonde’s eyes. 

Apparently Carmilla had robbed Laura from the power of speech, because at that question, she just answered bringing her lips on the dark-haired girl’s. 

Laura moaned and took Carmilla’s arm, trying to indicate that she wanted her to straddle her. Carmilla took the hint and brought herself on top of her. She broke the kiss and said, “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’”. 

Laura just said, “yes” and brought her mouth on Carmilla’s neck making her gasp. 

“Bedroom.” Carmilla said standing up and taking Laura’s hand. Laura was now suddenly a mess of nervousness and anxiety. She wanted this girl so much, but it had been a lot since she had been with someone. 

When they got to the bedroom Carmilla gently pushed Laura onto the bed, causing the smaller girl to feel a burst of adrenaline. Carmilla quickly removed her own sweater, leaving just her bra on, and straddled Laura again. Carmilla’s hands were caressing at the sides of her torso, “You’re beautiful, cupcake.”. Laura instantly blushed hard.

“M-maybe i should tell you something first, Carmilla.”

“What?”

“I kind of never had sex before.”

Carmilla stilled her hands. “Kind of?”

“I know you’re probably not looking for someone inexperienced and innocent like me, and i’m sorry, i should have said it before..i just never really did much with the only ex girlfriend i had.”

“Hey, i’m not looking for anything..don’t worry. If you want to tell me about it, i’m here”. 

“Just..oh god, i’m embarrassed.” Laura brought her own hands up to cover her face. Carmilla kissed the back of her right hand covering her face and when she removed it from there, she placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Tell me, i won’t make any comment, i swear.”

“Well, i was younger and this girl i was with was a bit older..let’s say she never made me come, she tried a couple of times, but nothing. And i never got to do anything to her because then we broke up. It wasn’t working on a lot of levels.”

“It’s ok, cutie. If you still want me, i’m all yours, otherwise we can stop.”

“Of course i do!” 

“Ok..then we can go back to where we were..” She leaned in and kissed her lightly on her lips. “I really don’t mind if you’re inexperienced or whatever, i would want you in any way.” 

“Then kiss me again.” Carmilla didn’t have to hear it twice. She brought her lips on the blonde’s neck and then back up on her lips. 

_ She really didn’t make any comment. She didn’t judge. _

Laura brought her hands on Carmilla’s back looking for the bra, to unclasp it. Once done that, she just looked at the girl in front of her. That body was driving her crazy. Being able to touch it, made her feel things she couldn’t quite define at that moment.

“We should even this out though, cupcake.” Laura lifted herself allowing Carmilla to undress her. Carmilla let her hand wander from the blonde’s ribcage, to her neck, until it stopped and cupped her cheek. “You’re beautiful, Laura.” 

Laura felt the pooling in her lower belly again. She needed to feel her. She wanted her hand and everything of this girl. She took Carmilla’s hand in her own and guided it down her body, leaving it at the hem of her pants. “I want you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, please.”

Carmilla let her hand go down her pants, but quickly removed it from there. She changed position in order to get rid of the blonde’s pants and underwear. When she was naked she brought her hand on the left thigh, on the inside, teasing her. She moved it and with an index lightly brushed on Laura’s folds. 

“Do i make you this wet?” Carmilla said smirking. 

“Shut up.” Laura’s cheeks flushed red.

“Kind of hard when you make me this wet too.”

Laura couldn’t possibly be redder in the face, but at that admission she felt her whole body hot. Especially where Carmilla’s hand was. Laura moved her hand on Carmilla’s belly, lowering it. “I want to feel that too.” The dark-haired girl quickly undressed herself, leaving both of them naked on the bed. 

When the smaller girl’s hand found Carmilla wetness, she asked mocking her previous tone, “do i make you this wet?”

Carmilla chuckled and found herself loving the fun in this sexy time.

Laura’s fingers were grazing the dark-haired girl’s clit, making her moan. She mirrored the same action, and then brought one finger down, tapping lightly at Laura’s entrance. She gathered some wetness on that finger, brought it back on her clit, drawing circles and then down again at her entrance, teasing her.

“Fuck…” Laura let out.

“Fuck what, cutie?”

“Fuck me, Carmilla.”

“I'm pretty sure we don’t need any lube, do we?” Carmilla said smirking excessively. 

The finger dwelling upon that entrance finally and gently was now pushed inside of her. “Is this okay?” Carmilla asked, wanting to know if the other girl was comfortable. 

“Yes, more than okay.”

Carmilla’s finger started speeding up a bit, causing Laura to start panting. She didn’t remember it feeling so fucking amazing. Maybe it was this girl. 

“More, please.” Laura asked.

Carmilla pushed inside another finger, filling her up.

“Shit..that feels good.” Laura said and moaned loudly at the feeling. Carmilla moved to Laura’s side to angle her hand better, kissing gently her neck. She started moving her fingers faster, pumping in and out, leaving the other girl breathless at every thrust. 

Laura’s hips shoot up, her legs trembling a bit. She could feel something hot burn inside of her, ready to combust at any moment. 

Carmilla felt Laura’s walls clenching around her fingers. She adjusted the angle allowing herself to touch that spot that made Laura cry out a loud moan, coming undone breathlessly. Carmilla’s fingers slowed down and removed them gently, licking them. Laura watched her as she regained her breath. 

Without saying a word Laura jumped on the dark-haired girl, rolling them over, being her the one on her side now. “It’s your turn now, right?” she said smugly.

“You still look pretty out of breath, cutie. I can wait.”

“No you can’t.” Laura brought her hand down touching the inside of the other girl’s thigh. She traced her finger there and collected some wetness that had drizzled down on it. She raised the finger to let Carmilla see for herself, “see, you can’t.”

“Just touch me here.” Carmilla took Laura’s fingers and placed them on her clit. 

“Tell me if this is ok..” Laura said, a bit unsure of her actions. 

“Oh fuck, i’m not going to last long.”

“I’m not complaining.” Laura kissed her hard, robbing the dark-haired girl of the air she desperately needed. But she kissed her hard back too, moaning and whimpering as Laura’s fingers worked on her clit. With some other strokes Carmilla couldn’t hold any longer and shoot her head back, breaking the kiss and climaxing crying out Laura’s name. 

Laura kept her hand there, still, waiting for the other girl’s contractions to even out. Carmilla brought her own and on Laura’s still hand, bringing it on her torso. “Hug me.”

Laura wasn’t expecting that, but she wanted to hug her too, so she did that. 

“You’re beautiful, Laura.” Carmilla said looking at her. Laura blushed. 

_ Again. She said that again.  _

Carmilla removed herself from the hug, seeing she didn’t get any response from the other girl. Maybe that was inappropriate. She stood up, put on a t-shirt, and nervously said, “I’m going to grab a glass of water..” and headed towards the kitchen.

Laura remembered words from before. 

_ Oh come on, she’s clearly doing all of this to fuck her. _

_ When does she ever care for someone and plus, she always says she doesn’t want relationships, so.. _

She stood up and quickly dressed herself. She was heavily confused by everything. It looked like Carmilla was into her but hearing their friends talk about how popular she was with girls, made her doubt. And it’s also possible that this didn’t mean a thing to her. After all, why would it? Surely, their friends knew her better than her, she thought. 

Carmilla came back into the bedroom, “you’re going home?” she said a bit disappointed but she didn’t let that slip out. 

“Yeah, i need to do a lot of stuff tomorrow morning..” Laura answered not looking her in the eyes. 

“Oh, ok..” Now the disappointment probably slipped, she thought, as soon as she heard her own voice. 

“Thank you again for tonight.” Laura said, now looking at her awkwardly. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight to you.” Carmilla took a step forward, she thought of hugging her or kissing her, but she stopped herself as soon as she saw Laura quickly head out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	5. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura is a bit conflicted. Carmilla being the cute Carmilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, this update took a while. life happened (meaning stress and exams, ughh).
> 
> Enjoy! ;)

Laura was at work remembering all that had happened with Carmilla. The other night was amazing, but thinking about some moments made her uneasy. She was shocked by her own boldness of that night. When was she ever so bold? Never. 

She realized, remembering also Carmilla’s friends’ words, that she was probably one of the many girls Carmilla brought home. Nothing new for her. But why was Carmilla being so sweet during sex? She had called her ‘beautiful’ a couple of times, she had asked if she was comfortable and overall she had been extremely gentle. That kind of threw her off. That must be her way of getting girls to sleep with her, she thought. 

A couple of days passed from that night and they had no interactions. No encounters, no texts, no calls, nothing. Laura convinced herself that that had been just a one-night stand. It was probably better to stop thinking about it. 

She gathered her things to go to lunch break. She usually went to this little bar that has outside tables with a nice view of a park. She took a seat and ordered her lunch. When her plate was placed in front of her, she noticed someone approaching the bar and after some moments she recognized who it was. Danny. She hoped with all of her might that Danny hadn’t seen her. Wrong. 

“Hey there! How are you?”

“Hi Danny. I’m fine, you?” Laura said, faking a smile.

“I was just going to grab something to eat, can i sit with you?”

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Ok, a minute and i’ll come back.”

While Laura didn’t want to engage in a conversation with her, she thought it was better to be polite. Danny was 100% going to ask about Carmilla, she thought. 

“Here i am. Haven’t seen you since the party at Perry’s.”

Here we go. “I didn’t go out much in these days, i was busy with work stuff.”

“Yeah, me too actually. I liked your friends.” 

“Perry was super pleased to have you all at that party.” Laura said.

“So, you and Carmilla are pretty close now, uh?” Danny asked smirking a little.

Laura’s cheeks coloured a bit. “What do you mean?” That wasn’t what she wanted to say but it was almost automatic.

“I saw you two at the party..she was being all touchy and you kept looking at her. Am i wrong? I’m sure she brought you home.” Carmilla hadn’t said anything to anyone about her and Laura, Danny just assumed. 

Laura blushed again. “Well, yeah, that’s true, but..”

She was immediately cut off by Danny, “look, you seem like a nice girl, i just want to tell you something..Carmilla can be a bit bitchy, and she doesn’t do relationships, i just want to warn you before you get hurt.”

Oh, so no relationships. This hurt a bit. 

“I’ll keep that in mind, but i can look out for myself.” She couldn’t hold in the bitterness now. 

“I knew it. I knew you had already figured her out.” Danny said.

That’s not what she meant with her own words, but Laura didn’t want to explain herself and keep this going. “Sorry but i’ve got to go back to work in 5 minutes..” She stood up and Danny touched her forearm saying, “we’ll be at the Sandstorm on Saturday, we could all hang out, if you want.” 

“Sure, i’ll see if i can make it. Bye Danny.”

“See you!”

* * *

Carmilla was at a table with Kirsch. 

“Why do you keep looking at your phone?” Kirsch asked her.

“Nothing..i’m just waiting for an e-mail.” She lied and he immediately got that.

“An e-mail? Come on, that’s not true.” 

Carmilla just looked at him without saying a word and without giving away anything with her expression. “Let me guess..can i?” he asked all excited. 

She rolled her eyes and said, “go ahead.”

“You ordered something online and you’re tracking your package, am i right?”

Carmilla heavily frowned and then smugly said, “I thought you were smarter in this little game  _ you  _ decided to play.”

“Come on, that was just a warm-up. Mm, you’re waiting for a message from someone?”

“Bingo! Are you satisfied now?” Carmilla said. 

“Yes! But we are not done here, girl!” 

“Great.” She huffed.

It looked like he had an epiphany. “Oooh, you slept with Laura!!”, he said raising his voice.

“Don’t fucking scream.”

“Sorry sorry”, he covered his mouth with both hands. Then continued, “aww, so is she coming tonight?” 

“I don’t know, i haven’t heard from her since the party.” She looked around trying to act indifferent.

“Maybe she was just busy. But wait, why are you waiting for a message from her? Usually you don’t care much about girls you go home with..unless..”, he paused for a second, “unless the sex was totally great! It was?” he asked raising his eyebrows. 

“It’s possible.” She answered smirking a bit. Yes, the sex was great, but that was not entirely the reason she was waiting for a message from her. But she already offered too much information here.

“Hello guys!” Danny approached them. 

“How was work?” Carmilla asked. 

“Pretty fine. I met Laura at lunch. I told her we would have been here and i invited her.”

Kirsch shoot a quick glance at Carmilla who was expressionless. He answered, “great, i can’t wait to see her again!”

Half an hour passed. Carmilla was now at the bar ordering some beers. 

“Hello everyone!” LaFontaine and Perry said at the unison. Laura just smiled. 

“Hey! Sit down with us! So you all cameeee..” Danny said smiling.

“Yeah, we needed some distraction from work.” Laura said. 

“You’re just in time. Carmilla just went to order.”

Laura looked at the bar counter and they all followed her eyesight. 

“Looks like Carmilla’s got company.” Danny said. Kirsch was looking at Laura, who was still staring in that direction. Carmilla was sat on a stool and a girl was tracing a finger along her thigh. She suddenly felt hot and she realized she didn’t like what she was seeing. That meant one thing and she knew what it was. She was jealous. Why the hell would she be jealous? Well, the counter-reply was, why not? 

Carmilla in these past few days had the time to think stuff through. Sort of. No words from Laura, who practically ran away the night they slept together. She thought they would have talked about it, but then came to the conclusion that maybe Laura needed space. After all, that had been her “kind of” first time. Or that maybe Laura simply wasn’t interested or that she didn’t like Carmilla enough. She surprised herself with all this overthinking. It wasn’t really in her nature to do so. 

The girl next to Carmilla took her hand and brought her to the dancefloor. Laura felt her stomach drop. She repeated to herself that it was just a one-night stand, and the fact that Carmilla was now groping the other girl was the evidence. 

“Did Carmilla drink all of our beers or what?” Danny asked.

Kirsch looked around and as soon as his eyes found her he said standing up, “i’ll go find her.” 

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Laura said without looking at anyone in the eyes. 

“Carmilla, Laura is here.” He whispered in Carmilla’s ear. She stilled her movements and looked at him a bit surprised. He then asked, “where are the beers?”

“Oh shit..sorry.” She ran towards the bar counter again and Kirsch followed her, leaving the girl in the middle of the dancefloor. 

They came back at the table, offering a beer to the newcomers too. Laura came back from the bathroom in that moment, and was surprised to see Carmilla there. She thought she wouldn’t have the occasion to talk to her for the whole night, seeing how busy she was. 

“Hi.” She awkwardly said sitting down facing her.

“Hey.” Carmilla said just curving her lips a little.

“Is that your girlfriend, Carmilla?” Perry asked gesturing to the dancefloor. “If you want to be with her, don’t feel forced to stay here with us.” Oh, oblivious Perry. 

“Oh no no she’s not my girlfriend.” She answered keeping it cool.

“What were you doing back there then?” LaFontaine asked smirking.

“Just messing around.” She cringed internally at her own words. She thought this was the best way to reply without making the situation worse, but in fact, she did. She saw Laura looking at her. She hoped no one would ask more questions.

“Hello! Someone wants to keep me company while i go smoke outside?” Will asked approaching the table.

Without thinking it twice Carmilla said, “i’ll come with you.” Anything to get out of this awful situation. 

“Have you heard from father?” Carmilla asked him as soon as they were out. The pub had this little garden with some tables, which were now empty, and a cold breeze enveloped them. 

“No, i was thinking of calling him one of these days..if he agrees to see us again, do you want to come?” 

“I’ll think about it..” Carmilla said. 

“So, i’m on my break, i don’t have much time, but tell me..how’s with Laura?” He smiled looking at her.

“How’s what with Laura?”

“I remember you staring at her the last time..did something happen?”

“You want to know about my sex life?” She said raising her eyebrows.

“So, you just admitted you had sex with her..nice”, he replied smugly. 

Carmilla just opened her mouth, but closed it, when she realized she had just outed herself. She mumbled a “fuck”.

He heard it, “that’s what you did, right, fuck?”

She rolled her eyes and then laughed. “Isn’t your break over?”

“Shit, it is, but i want to know more, you’ll tell me tomorrow.” He winked and went back inside. She followed him and then went at the table, where only Laura sat. 

“Where is everyone?” Carmilla asked sitting in front of her.

“Dancing.” Laura coldly answered.

“And you’re hereeee…?”

“I’m not in the mood for that.”

“What are you in the mood for?” Carmilla asked smiling. No, this is not an innuendo, but it probably came out wrong.

“A shot?”, she continued, “do you want one?” Maybe a shot would help relax her a bit. 

“Sure.”

They both went to the bar counter, ordered two shots and downed them. They sat at two free stools at the corner of the bar counter. 

“Does anyone know about us?” Laura asked out of the blue.

“Us sleeping together, you mean?” 

“Yeah..”

“Just Kirsch and my brother. Don’t worry they won’t say anything.”

“It’s okay..why did you tell them?”

“They always want to know about the girls i sleep with.” She laughed at her own words but then stopped. Fuck, fuck. This came out wrong,  _ again.  _

“Do you do this often? Do you sleep with girls often?” Laura was now curious to know more about all of this.

“Kind of..” Carmilla thought it was better to be straight honest, if she wanted Laura to stick around. Anyway, it’s always better to be honest about everything. She continued, “..last time with you was pretty special, though.”

Laura thought this was one of her other seducing techniques. She opted to be humorous and said, “oh, so you want to be friends with benefits?”, gesturing with her index finger between the two of them.

Carmilla said, “well..yes, why not?” She leaned in and placed a kiss on Laura’s cheek. 

Ok, this doesn’t sound so bad, Laura thought. That magnificent sex on a weekly basis (maybe?), was tempting. 

Laura blushed but then looked up at her, “i’ll let you know, though, that i’m not open to threesomes.”

Carmilla frowned, “i’m not either, cupcake, but why are you saying this..?”

“I saw you with some girl before.”

“Oh no no.” Carmilla waved her hands around. “You’re the privileged one”, she said smugly.

“You’re so full of yourself.” Laura said smacking her hand on Carmilla’s thigh.

“You still don’t know me.” She kept the smugness going on.

“Oh my god! Privileged because i get to touch you, uh?” 

“Well, last time you couldn’t take your hands off of me.”

“Maybe i really am the privileged one.” Laura said in a more serious tone, surprising her.

Carmilla remained speechless for some moments, then asked, “do you want to come to my place later..or we could go to yours? Because you know, equality.”

Laura laughed. “Right. Once at your place and once at mine. Seems fair to me.”

“I just hope it won’t stop after that.” Carmilla smirked at her. 

“I hope that too.” Laura answered looking intensely at her. “We should go back to the others.” She said standing up. Carmilla hopped off the stool and was now really close to her. She placed a hand on her lower back and said in her ear, “I can’t wait to kiss you again.” Laura shivered and just shoot a glance at Carmilla smiling mischievously.

They were having a really nice time, laughing at LaFontaine telling funny stories that happened at work, talking about life in general and where they all dreamt to live. Laura and Carmilla weren’t being so subtle with the staring and shooting glances at each other, but no one seemed to catch on those, being probably too engrossed in the conversation. 

They were now at Laura’s place. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks. But i would like you to get here and undress me.” Carmilla said. She was sat on a chair in the kitchen. Laura was fumbling with something in a cupboard. She stopped whatever she was doing as soon as she heard that.

She walked towards her, “do you really want to fuck on a kitchen chair?”

Carmilla stood up, she crouched putting an arm behind Laura’s knees and the other on her back, and picked her up. “What are you doing?” Laura said laughing.

“I remember where your bed is, cupcake.” 

When she entered the bedroom, she gently threw Laura on the bed making her bounce a bit on it. “Now we can fuck.”

“You’re an idiot. You’re lucky i like you.” Laura said.

“Like me? We’re generous with the confessions tonight, uh?”

“Shut up and take those clothes off.”

“I remember saying i wanted you to undress me.” Carmilla smugly said sticking her own hands in the back pockets of her jeans. 

“Then come here.” Laura pushed herself towards the edge of the bed, effectually sitting. Carmilla took some steps forward and was now between Laura’s legs. Laura started unbuttoning her black blouse, throwing it on the floor behind them. She brought her hands on the button’s jeans and got rid of those too. 

Carmilla needed to kiss her. She had been waiting all night for that. She lowered herself and caught Laura’s lips, making her whine in surprise. Laura stood up, not breaking the kiss and changed positions, pushing Carmilla on the bed and straddling her. Carmilla brought her hands under her shirt, Laura shivered at the contact and she got the hint and removed it. 

“These have to go too, cutie.” Carmilla said sticking her fingers at the hem of her jeans pulling towards her a little. She stood up and threw them on the ground somewhere. She didn’t really care now, she just wanted Carmilla’s hands all over her. 

They kissed again, more passionately this time. Carmilla moaning was making her wetter and wetter, she could feel that. She broke the kiss and lowered herself kissing Carmilla on the chest and down on her belly. They were both still in their underwear and Laura thought it was going to be fun teasing her a bit. She kissed her at the hem of her underwear and the dark-haired girl shoot her hips forwards craving Laura’s lips at the loss of contact. 

“Stay still.” Laura said. 

Carmilla obeyed looking down at her with eyes full of lust. Laura kept the eye contact and went down a bit, hovering over Carmilla’s centre. She placed a kiss there and the older girl moaned. As much as Laura was enjoying teasing her, she wanted to get rid of that underwear and see how much Carmilla wanted her. 

She traced a finger over it, feeling the warmth radiating from there. Carmilla was pretty desperate too. “Take them off, Laura.”

She did as she was told. Suddenly she was nervous. She has never done this. She has never eaten a girl out. And since she saw how considerate Carmilla was and how kind she was with her, she decided to express her nervousness. 

She climbed up, pressing her whole body on Carmilla’s and burying her face in her neck’s crook. “I’m nervous.”

“Hey, i know you’ve never done that and that’s okay..” Laura was surprised in seeing Carmilla remembered that. “..i wouldn’t be here with you if i didn’t want that.” Carmilla moved her head and caught her lips in a gentle kiss. Laura just looked at her. The dark-haired girl then said, “let’s dim the lights, okay?” She reached with her hand towards the nightstand and turned the lamp off.

Laura’s heart skipped a beat at that. That’s something so sweet and pure and she never thought she would find someone that would do this for her or even think about it. The only light in the room came from the moon, which filtered through the little curtain that covered the window. It was perfect.

“You’re lovely.” Laura said placing a kiss on her neck and then climbing down again. 

“ _ You _ are lovely.” Carmilla said.

Laura’s tongue was hovering over her centre. She licked lightly her clit making her moan. She went down and lapped her entrance. Carmilla brought her hands through Laura’s hair, keeping her there. The wetness was making Laura feel proud and she kept going with those movements, until she sucked at her clit and made Carmilla moan louder. 

“Oh fuck..don’t stop..”

Laura brought her hands under the older girl’s thighs and placed them both on her belly, keeping her still. She kept sucking and licking and when Carmilla said, “Oh, Laura..”, she increased the speed and made her come gasping for air. 

“Oh my god..that was intense. Give me a moment..” She panted out. 

“I’m not so impatient as you, i can wait.” Laura mocked her, remembering the last time.

Laura kept her position and kept moving her hands lightly on Carmilla’s thighs, soothing her, until the older girl said, “ok, come up here and kiss me.”

They kissed and without breaking it Carmilla reversed their positions. 

“Now..let’s see how impatient you are.” Carmilla teased.

She brought her hand down, over Laura’s centre and brushed over her underwear. 

“Oh,  _ I _ am the impatient one, cutie? You’re soaked.”

Laura bit the inside of her cheek, “look, it’s you..you moaning is really hot.”

Carmilla smirked. “If it’s my fault, then i’m fine with it.”

“It’s not a fault..” Laura said smiling.

“Is it a privilege?” Carmilla said teasing. 

My god,  _ this _ girl. Super cute, Laura thought. 

Carmilla undressed her from the only thing left on her body. She left kisses on her belly and on the inside of her thighs, until her tongue lapped through her folds. Laura felt a hot rush in her centre, craving for more. Carmilla hungrily licked and sucked on her clit. The vibrations caused by Carmilla’s moaning made Laura shoot her hips up.

“I want..you..inside.”

“I like it when you’re needy.” Carmilla said, bringing her finger over Laura’s entrance, teasing a bit and then pushing it inside. She kept licking her clit while moving her finger inside.

“Oh no...” Laura said.

Carmilla stopped her movements abruptly. “No what, cutie?” 

“I meant..don’t stop..keep going..” She paused catching her breath, “it just feels too good..i don’t want you to stop.”

“Then come for me, Laura.”

She kept going with steady movements, but those words did the trick for Laura. She felt her contractions coming and an amazing orgasm washed over her. 

“Oh god..i need water.” Laura let out still breathless.

“I’ll go grab a glass, cutie.” 

The loss of contact from Carmilla’s hands made Laura whine. That was telling. That girl drove her crazy and was enamored with everything she did, be it sexual or not. Is this ‘friends with benefits’ thing going to work? Maybe she shouldn’t have suggested it in the first place, not even joking about it, as she did. 

“Here you go.” Carmilla handed her a glass and she drank all of it. “Your reactions and face expressions to my actions are cute.”

“Are you calling me cute?” Laura asked, feeling curious.

“Well..that’s not really news.” 

Laura blushed. “I wanted to ask you something..”

Carmilla was sat on the bed, near Laura, she reached and placed her hand on the bed, hovering a bit over her. She just nodded and waited for her to continue.

“Are you..sleeping with somebody else? I mean, would you tell me if you did, since, you know, we are sleeping together..?”

“I would but i don’t intend to.” Carmilla answered. Laura just looked at her with a confused expression. She doesn’t intend to what?

Carmilla saw the bewilderment, “i would surely tell you..but i don’t intend to sleep with other people, cutie.”

“Oh..” Laura blushed. 

“But it goes the same way for you, eh? I mean, we’re nothing, you can do whatever you want.”

Ouch. That hurt.  _ We’re nothing.  _

Carmilla knew saying that would put some distance between them and that’s what it did. They said ‘friends with benefits’ and that’s it. She stood up and dressed herself. 

“Yeah yeah sure..” Laura couldn’t say much more, she didn’t have the words. 

“See you soon, cupcake?” Carmilla asked smiling from the bedroom door.

“Yeah, see you soon.”

This is going to be hard, right? Why would she ever suggest being ‘friends with benefits’? That’s the way to agony, torment, suffering and every other negative emotions, at least for Laura. Maybe the key here is to try and act unaffected and disinterested, and it will probably end up not being just an act. That’s some autotherapy talking, that likely won’t succeed. 

* * *

Laura’s alarm rang and she immediately shut it off. Oh god, the beginning of a new week. She went to the bathroom mentally preparing herself about the endless things she had to do at work, read articles, write pieces and answer e-mails. She drank a glass of water and went back to dress herself. She quickly checked her phone and she was surprised to see the ‘new message’ icon. She usually doesn’t receive or send texts early in the morning, except rare occasions. 

Carmilla(7:25am): Morning..are you already up?

Laura(7:28am): Morning to you too. I am up yes, i’m going to work in a while..why?

Carmilla(7:30am): Want to eat breakfast with me?

Okay, this is strange. They never went out just the two of them. They were always at parties with a bunch of other people. If you don’t count the sexual activities, of course.  She decided to say ‘yes’ and see where this went. 

Laura(7:32am): um, i still have to eat, so yeah! i can be ready in 15 mins if that’s ok :)

Carmilla(7:33am): sure. i’ll wait outside, cupcake!

They entered the little corner coffee and were enveloped by the typical ‘breakfast’ smell. Baked goods, strong coffee, pastries and croissants. Carmilla loved to come here, it wasn’t one of those loud and noisy bar, it was pretty quiet, she even comes here to read sometimes in the afternoon. 

“This place is nice and these croissants are phenomenal.” Laura said eating enthusiastically. 

“I’ll have to bring you here more often then.” Carmilla responded. 

“I will gladly come.” She stopped chewing as soon as she said that. The dark-haired girl just laughed and lowered her eyes.

“I’ll gloss over the fact that you hand those innuendos to me on a plate..but i was wondering if tonight you were free..there’s one of my favorite band that’s playing at the Sandstorm..” she trailed off hoping Laura would jump in and say something.

“What music do they play?” Laura asked curiously. 

“I don’t really know what you’re into..it’s instrumental, maybe that’s not your thing..” she trailed off again, blushing a bit. 

“No no, tell me!” Laura said reaching with her hand and touching the other girl’s forearm. They both looked down at Laura’s hand, then up to each other’s eyes and removed it slowly. “I’m really curious.”

“It’s jazzy post-rock..they play from 8.30pm to 9.30pm.”

While Laura normally didn’t listen to that type of music, she definitely was intrigued because she wanted to know more about this amazing girl in front of her. And knowing what kind of music someone likes, is like letting other people understand a bit more about yourself, something like a key to your soul. 

“Yes! I’d like to, Carmilla. What time do you want to go?”

“Oh i’m going to be there at 6..i have to help Will with something first. Kirsch is coming too, you can come with him if you want..he’s driving there so he can pick you up.” 

“Alright, but i don’t think i have his number.” 

Carmilla gave her his number. She was unexpectedly nervous and couldn’t wait for tonight to come. She finished her coffee and stood up. 

“I have to go to work now..see you tonight then, cupcake?” The dark-haired girl asked smiling at her.

“Yeah, thanks for breakfast..you didn’t have to pay..” Laura was cut off by an unexpected kiss on her cheek and a wink. Carmilla went for the door like that,  leaving Laura as if she had been hit by a stun grenade, perplexed and lost in her thoughts. 

Why did Carmilla have to kiss her? That wasn’t helping her denial of what she was feeling. But you can’t really suppress how you feel, can you? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	6. The Apartment Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concert, fluff and..something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any mistakes. I encountered some difficulties in describing some stuff and as i already said, English not being my first language, makes it a bit harder at times. And i don't have a beta, so again, i apologize. 
> 
> The title of the chapter is taken from a song by the band Do Make Say Think, which is the one playing in the pub. I'll be incorporating more of this band (it's one of my favorites), and it'll play a big role plotwise.

Laura couldn’t possibly put aside her anxiety for the entire day at work. She’s going to see Carmilla tonight. Despite knowing her for a while now, she still was anxious, but as soon as they were together some kind of magic happened and the nervousness always faded away. 

She looked at the clock. It was 2:40pm, two hours and she could get home and get ready. 

Kirsch was waiting for her outside, he was leaned against his car and as soon as he saw her walking towards him, he asked, “hey blondie! ready for tonight?”, winking. She just said “yes i am Kirsch”, followed by a nervous laughter.

They both got in the car and he said all of a sudden, “i know about you and her.” 

She blushed and asked “what do you know?”

“Oh i know you’re sleeping with her..”, he turned to look at her and smirked.

“Yeah we are..”

After some moments of silence, he said, “so is this a date? Not between me and you..between you and moody girl.”

She immediately stiffened, not knowing what to say, she sputtered, “what do you mean a date?”

“Well, she asked you to go see her favourite band together…”

“So? What do you mean?” She felt like an idiot for continuing to ask these questions in return.

“Music is a big deal for her..this band in particular.”

Laura wanted to ask why, but thought it was better not to right now. “She didn’t really say it was a date, so i don’t think so..”

“Oh ok..so you’re just fucking.” He laughed. 

“Yeah..”, she laughed too, but didn’t really find it too funny.

They approached the parking lot outside the Sandstorm. “Just be close to her tonight.” He said in a serious tone.

“Well that was my plan.” She said smiling. Then added, “why?”

“Trust me.” He said getting out of the car.

“Ok”, she simply said. She noticed he became serious and imagined this meant something important. 

* * *

“Hi cupcake!” Carmilla said as soon as Laura entered the pub.

“Hey, everything ok?” Laura asked, knowing well that Carmilla couldn’t possibly have witnessed the conversation that had just taken place in the car. But it was almost an unconscious and automatic question. 

“Yeah, i can’t wait for them to start..should begin in 15 minutes.” She placed her hand on the blonde’s back and added, “come sit, i chose a pretty nice booth for us.”

_ For us _ . Damn. This probably didn’t mean anything, but Laura felt hot in her whole body. 

She followed Carmilla and not so accidentally looked down at the way her hips swayed. She moved so gracefully, yet so sensually. 

They both sat down, facing each other. “I’m happy you came”, Carmilla said, then looking down and playing with the edge of the table, feeling a bit nervous suddenly. 

Laura noticed that, and felt her little crush raise exponentially at these small aspects of the dark-haired girl that drove her crazy. 

“Of course, i was waiting the whole day for tonight..i couldn’t wait.” Ops, maybe she exposed herself a bit too much here, she thought.

Carmilla just looked at her intensely, curving her lips up a little, without saying a word. 

“What?” Laura asked.

“Nothing”, Carmilla chuckled, “you’re cute.” 

In that moment, the band was starting to play. They announced themselves and played a couple of chords just to see if the guitars were tuned. Carmilla was looking at the band and Laura just took in the beauty of this girl in front of her. A relaxed and ecstatic smile was printed on the dark-haired girl’s face, something Laura noticed she didn’t witness very often. 

Towards the end of the first song, Carmilla asked her if she wanted something to drink and went to the bar counter. The blonde never took her eyes off of her. The next song was now playing and Laura noticed the happy expression on the other girl’s face was now gone. She remembered Kirsch’s words. 

_ Just be close to her tonight.  _

She saw the dark-haired girl sprint towards the bathroom. She waited a bit but then stood up and headed there too. 

Carmilla’s hands were placed onto the sink and her head was lowered. 

“Carmilla..is everything ok?” Laura asked approaching slowly.

“Yes, don’t worry..i wasn’t feeling too well for a moment.”

Laura didn’t believe that, but didn’t want to push.

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

“I know.”

“Do you want to go back there?” She offered her hand saying that. 

“Ok. Sorry about this.” 

Laura lowered her hand, she leaned in and placed a kiss on the older girl’s cheek. “Come on, i liked that song.”

Carmilla felt her heart skip a beat. 

When they reached the booth, they both sat down facing each other again. Laura felt like wanting to be close to her. She missed that contact. 

She looked at Carmilla and asked, “do you want to sit near me?”

“Sure, cutie.” 

The booth was placed on a wall of the pub and faced the inside of it. Carmilla stood up and went to sit beside her. Then Laura scooted resting her back on the wall and said, “come here”. She opened her legs and placed them on the wood bench, allowing Carmilla to rest on her. As soon as the dark-haired girl’s body pressed against the other girl’s, Laura wrapped her arms around Carmilla’s torso. 

The third song started playing. 

“Oh, this one is amazing. This is now my new favorite song by them.” Carmilla said.

“Why now?” Laura asked chuckling.

“Because i’m here and you’re with me.”

Laura blushed and said, “so i’m kind of special, uh?”

“I already told you that. You didn’t believe it.” There was a bit of smugness in her tone, but Laura could tell she was being honest.

“Now i do.” 

The song progressed and Carmilla was now tracing light patterns with her index finger on Laura’s hands, which were still around her torso. 

Kirsch appeared in front of them with two glasses. He raised his eyebrows, “what’s happening here girls?”

“Not your business.” Carmilla said clearly joking.

He looked at Laura as if he was waiting for something from her, but she just said, “sit down with us.” 

“I brought you two gin tonics, figured you needed a little booze to liven up this evening, full of sad music.”

“Ha, actually my evening is the opposite of sad.” Carmilla replied back, side eyeing him. 

“I can see that.” He smugly said looking up at Laura too. 

Laura’s cheek turned red but fortunately in the dim light it was hard to notice. 

The band played and they all sat there listening. When the concert finished, Kirsch said, “now can we drink properly?”

“I’m going to the bathroom.” Laura said and Carmilla scooted forward in order to let the other girl get out of the booth. 

When Laura was gone, Kirsch said, “i see we’ve reached a new comfort level, uh?”

“I see you can’t keep your nose out of my business.”

“Come on, you two are cute, i don’t mean to be nosy, you know that..”, he then quickly added, “..maybe just a bit.”

“Oh i know you are. Anyway, she’s being supportive without knowing it and i like that.” Carmilla said.

“You like that she doesn’t know your stuff?” He asked a bit confused.

“I didn’t say that. I like that she’s being supportive.”

“And you’d like her to know why too?”

“Probably yes.”

“Uuuuuh, ok. I see.” He paused and then smugly said, “you like her.”

“Shut up and drink that gin tonic, i don’t want it.”

They were joined by Danny, Will and a friend of Kirsch’s. They talked for a while, then Carmilla stood up and said, “i’m going to go look for Laura, it’s been 20 minutes.” 

She entered the bathroom and called her name. 

“Yeah?” 

“Everything fine, cupcake? It’s been a while you’re stuck in here.”

“Um, no. I just got my period and i feel like shit.” Laura opened the bathroom stall. She was a bit pale and Carmilla immediately noticed it.

“Shit, do you want me to take you home?” Carmilla asked. 

“No, i just called my dad, he didn’t answer but he should call back in a moment.”

“Don’t be silly, i’m taking you home.” Carmilla got closer to her and placed her hands on the blonde’s arms, “wait for me outside, i’m going to tell the others.”

Laura lowered her head, “no no, i don’t want you to leave your friends for my stupid uterus.”

“It’s not because of that. Get out of here.” Carmilla practically pushed her out of the bathroom. 

When they approached Laura’s home, Carmilla parked the car and unbuckled herself. 

“What are you doing?” Laura asked perplexed.

“Bringing you home.”

“I’m home. You’re not going back to the pub?”

“No. Well if you want to stay on your own, it’s perfectly fine..but i was thinking of staying, if that’s ok.”

The stabbing pain in her belly was forgotten for a moment when the dark-haired girl said that. She was entirely too cute. Laura didn’t even need to think too much in order to make up her mind about this. The answer was already crystal clear in her mind.

“Yes, you can stay.” 

“Ok, then let’s go up quickly.” Carmilla said, getting off the car and taking the blonde’s hand in her own. 

* * *

“I need to lay down.” Laura ran towards the bedroom and threw herself on the bed immediately. Carmilla just followed her, and stood there, not knowing what to do. 

“Maybe you should take off your shoes, cupcake.” 

Laura just grumbled. The older girl rolled her eyes but understood how the other girl felt, so she helped her remove them. 

Laura thanked her and added, “if you really want to stay, there are some sweatpants you can borrow in the second drawer.”

“Alright, then i’ll make myself presentable.” Carmilla said smirking.

Laura just let her head fall onto the pillow and looked at the ceiling, praying for her cramps to go away. She then saw with the corner of her eyes Carmilla undressing. She moved her head a bit in order to look at her better. Not smooth at all, Hollis. Carmilla was now in her underwear and looked beyond hot. She put on the sweatpants and Laura kind of came back to reality, as a piercing ache expanded in her lower belly. 

“There’s a tv in the living room..you can watch Netflix or whatever you want.” Laura said trying to be the best host she could be in that moment. 

Carmilla sensed that maybe she wanted to be left alone for a while, so she kindly replied, “ok, i’ll be out here, if you need anything just shout my name, alright?” 

With that, she left the door ajar and went to sit on the couch. She looked through some movies, but couldn’t find anything, so she put on some documentary, more as a background noise. 

She sat there for half an hour and mostly thought to herself. Kirsch’s words resounded in her head.

_ I see we’ve reached a new comfort level, uh? _

_ You like her. _

Was that true? Carmilla Karnstein didn’t like people. She just enjoyed their company. Well, that was what her friends and most people thought. That she was a bit arrogant, picky, moody and not interested in anything love related. But that wasn’t the truth. It was just a layered aspect of who she was. She was so much more than that, but the only one who knew that, was herself. 

With some sort of impetus caused by all of these thoughts, she stood up and went to the kitchen. She wanted to show others she cared, and she particularly wanted Laura to know she cared. She looked through the cupboard and looked for a kettle. 

Carmilla knocked on the bedroom’s door and peeked inside. 

“Come in.” Laura said with a sleepy voice. 

“How do you feel? I’ve made some herbal tea i found..i hope i was allowed to look through your cupboard.” She placed it on the nightstand and sat on the bed near Laura. 

“Thank you.” She said with the biggest smile. God, this woman was beautiful. 

“Did you sleep?” Carmilla asked. 

“Not really.” 

“Why don’t you change into something more comfortable? You still have your jeans on.” 

Laura took a sip of the herbal tea and then stood up. Carmilla stood up too and was heading towards the door, thinking of going back to the couch. “Wait..can you stay here with me?” Laura asked.

Carmilla’s lips curved up a little. She was trying to contain her excitement. “Sure, i’ll just turn the tv off.” 

It was 11pm, so still pretty early, she could stay a bit longer, she said to herself.

When she came back into the bedroom, Laura was already under the sheets.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something together, cupcake?”

“Yeah, ok..take my laptop. It’s inside that backpack.”

The other side of the bed was still tucked in and Carmilla opted to just lay on top of it. 

“No.” Laura said pouting.

“No what?”

“Get under the sheets with me.” 

“Uuh, that sounds demanding, cutie.” Carmilla said trying to cheer her up a bit.

Laura just giggled and at that sound, the dark-haired girl felt a pull at her heartstrings.

Laura got closer to Carmilla and laid on her side, while the older girl rested her back on the bed headboard and placed the laptop on her legs. They chose a light-hearted movie and watched in a comfortable silence for a while. 

After a bit Laura groaned and laid on her back. “Why won’t these cramps leave my body?”

Carmilla closed the laptop and put in onto the floor. She shifted a bit closer to the blonde and said, “i know it hurts, i wish i could do something to make that pain go away.” 

“You’d have to be a magician.” Laura said laughing a bit. 

After saying that, she felt a warm hand on her belly and suppressed her laugh immediately. 

“Close your eyes.” Carmilla said with a firm tone.

Laura did as she was told and focused on the hand moving slowly on her belly. 

Carmilla started moving her hand around. Moving from one side of her torso to the other, trying to soothe every inch of that aching area. Some strokes were lighter, some were more confident. 

The warmth of Carmilla’s hand was pleasant, and her pain was starting to come in more infrequent waves. She felt that hand tugging at her t-shirt, lifting it up and leaving it rolled up just under her breast. As soon as Carmilla’s hand touched directly her skin, she gasped. 

Carmilla shifted even closer, and rested her head on the same pillow as Laura. The older girl’s mouth was at the blonde’s shoulder level. Carmilla kissed her there and just snuggled closer. She kept caressing Laura’s belly, not confining those movements to the lower belly alone, but also going up, just under her boobs. 

Laura’s breathing became more relaxed and soon after her, Carmilla fell asleep too. They stayed like that for an hour or so, until Laura moved a bit, causing Carmilla to wake up. 

She looked at the clock on the nightstand. 12.51am. She pulled down Laura’s t-shirt covering her belly and moved to stand up, trying her best not to wake the sleeping girl. 

“Where are you going?” Laura asked sleepily.

“Cupcake, it’s one in the morning, i need to go home. I’m working tomorrow. Go back to sleep.”

“Not without you. Stay. If you need clothes for tomorrow you can borrow mine.”

“Ok..i’ll just set the alarm.” 

Carmilla snuggled close to the blonde again. Laura turned her head and kissed Carmilla with a quick peck on the lips, leaving the dark-haired girl surprised. “Goodnight Carmilla.”

“Goodnight Laura.”

* * *

The alarm rang and both of them woke up. It was 7am. Really early. Carmilla wanted to remain in that wonderful warmth that both of their bodies created. 

“Hey, how do you feel?”

“Mm, a bit better, but i still have some cramps. I need to pee, then i’ll leave the bathroom to you.” Laura said.

“I’m going to eat breakfast in the meantime, i’ll come back to check up on you in 10 minutes.”

While eating some cereals, Carmilla remembered the kiss Laura gave her just before falling asleep. Do fuck buddies kiss each other like that? Do they even cuddle like  _ that _ ? She realized she was overthinking again. When it came to this tiny girl she always went into some sort of overthinking journey. 

She went back in the bedroom, and Laura asked, “when do you have to be at work?”

“At 9.30, i have a meeting with some students. Why?”

“Then you can come back here for another 10 minutes.” 

“I’m going to brush my teeth and be right there, cupcake.” Carmilla said smiling.

Laura stretched a bit, feeling an unexpected stabbing pain, again. The dark-haired girl came out of the bathroom and heard the blonde groaning. She went back under the sheets with her and Laura hugged her. The blonde left little kisses on the older girl’s neck.

Carmilla felt hot at the contact of those lips on her. 

“Do you know what they say about period cramps?” Carmilla suddenly asked.

“What?” 

“Sex can help alleviate that pain.” She said smirking. 

Laura untangled from the hug and pushed Carmilla, “we’re  _ not _ having sex.” 

“That’s not exactly what i meant..” 

Laura remained in silence for some seconds, and as soon as she asked “what do you mean then?”, she felt Carmilla on top of her. The dark-haired girl kissed her on her neck, making her gasp. 

Laura felt a hand going up from her knee, until it reached the inside of her thigh and spread her left leg a bit and then felt a leg pressed to her center.

“What if we do this?” Carmilla said.

Laura was almost ready to answer back and say it was not going to work, until she felt Carmilla’s thigh moving up and down. A kind of pleasure she had never experienced before shot through her whole body. Pain mixed with pleasure. That was weird and extremely arousing at the same time.

Laura was speechless and completely in a trance, caused by this feeling. She surprised herself when she saw herself participating in this. She started moving her hips, following Carmilla’s pace, in order to get more friction. 

The warmth of Carmilla’s body pressed against her made her feel a tingling sensation in every inch of her. 

She was close. As Carmilla placed light kisses on her pulse point and said in her ear, “it’s working, right?”, she came with one of the most intense orgasms, digging her nails in Carmilla’s back. 

Carmilla shifted to her side and let the blonde catch her breath.

“Can i take a shower, cupcake?” 

“Sure, go ahead.”

Carmilla stood up and went to the bathroom. 

Ok. What was that? What did just happen? Laura thought and her mind went back to yesterday night. She probably ruined Carmilla’s night with all of her complaining. She just wanted to have a night out with her friends and maybe expected some sex afterwards. But after all, it was her the one who decided she wanted to be in Laura’s company. She thought of apologizing anyway. 

When Carmilla came out of the bathroom, the blonde immediately said, “i’m sorry i ruined your night..i mean, you came home with a whining girl when you could have been with your friends..”

The dark-haired girl was putting her clothes back on and just stared at her.

“Am i complaining, cutie?”

“No..but you probably wanted some sex and all i did was talk about my stupid cramps and i even ended up having a beautiful orgasm and you got literally nothing..”

Carmilla approached her and put both her hands on Laura’s sides, hovering over her. “What makes you think i want something in return?” 

Laura couldn’t find any words at that. Carmilla kissed her on the cheek and said, “I hope you feel better. Thanks for the shower.”

From the door, Carmilla smiled at the blonde, “see you soon”, and with that she left. Laura didn’t have the time to answer back, or better yet, she just took in a shaky breath before her head could form some sort of comprehensible sentence. 

She let herself relax, despite still being a bit turned on. The next interaction is going to be interesting, she thought, before closing her eyes and getting back to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3
> 
> When Carmilla says "Oh, this one is amazing. This is now my new favorite song by them.", the song that's playing is the one from the title, The Apartment Song, if you're curious.


	7. Broken connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura visits her mother. And some Hollstein cuteness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until now everything seems fine, but in one or two chapters shit's going to go down. Some angst incoming.
> 
> TW: mention of homophobia. Parents not accepting their children's sexual orientation. Even though is mild, i don't want to cause anyone pain.

Maybe Carmilla was really a magician. Not only she made her period cramps go away, but she also made her feel things. Things being feelings she hadn’t felt in a while. Feelings she probably shouldn’t have, if they were friends with benefits. From the day she met her, she realized it was always worse. She couldn’t put them aside anymore, they kept growing, and they kept getting bigger and stronger. 

She took her phone from the table. 

Laura(11:34am): hey, are you at work right now?

Carmilla(11:40am): yes, i am in my office, why? 

Laura(11:42am): just asking..

Carmilla was quite baffled. She didn’t understand why she would ask that. Did that mean she wanted to check if Carmilla was free? She put the phone down, waiting for a further text, that would explain the reason of her asking, but nothing came, so she resumed her work. 

Half an hour later, someone knocked on her office’s door. 

“Come in.”

“Hi..” Laura said feeling a bit red in the face. 

“Hey there..” Carmilla paused for a moment, trying to grasp the situation. “What are you doing here?”

Laura took some steps forward and closed the door. “I brought you lunch, i hope you haven’t already eaten.”

Carmilla was pleasantly surprised, but still surprised because she couldn’t understand where this was coming from. “No i haven’t. Thank you. You’re sweet..but, is there a particular reason?”

“I just wanted to.” Laura simply smiled.

Carmilla was trying to contain her smile. I’m already fucked, she thought. This sweet girl was thinking of her. That was heartwarming. 

She tried to cover up her excitement using her sarcasm. “I see you’re feeling better compared to this morning..so, riding my thigh helped, right?”, she smirked saying that.

Laura blushed furiously, remembering how she moved her hips to get the pleasure she was craving for. “Well, yes, let’s say you were really useful..”, she replied back.

“Ouch, now i’m hurt.” Carmilla brought a hand to her chest, mocking the feeling of being hurt.

“Shut up, you’re so much more than useful..” Laura looked at the hour and then quickly added, “sorry, i’ve got to go to work too now. Will i see you soon?”

“I am for your very own use.” Carmilla said winking.

Laura shook her head smiling and left the room. 

* * *

Two days after, Carmilla came back from work and from the grocery store. 

Carmilla(6:21pm): i’ve read your article about the talk about art..well written! i’m proud of you ;) 

Laura(6:26pm): thanks..but today was the worst day ever. i had to send thousands of e-mails for a new article and people kept replying and not answering my actual questions..

Carmilla(6:29pm): seems like you need to relax and release some stress ;) 

Carmilla(6:30pm): it happens that i need that too

Laura(6:32pm): how convenient 

Laura(6:33pm): you could say that ahah i just need to forget about today

Carmilla(6:34pm): want to come over later? and relax with me? ;)

Laura(6:36pm): that doesn’t sound so bad. is 9pm fine?

Carmilla(6:38pm): sure. see you later

* * *

“Fuck..this is the third time in a week that you’re helping me release some stress.” Laura searched for Carmilla’s eyes, which were still between her legs. 

“You’re saying we need to slow down?” 

“I never said that.” Laura licked her lips, which were extremely dry. 

“Good, ‘cause i’m happy to be providing you earth-shattering orgasms.”

“Wow. Don’t act like you’re the best sex in the world.” Laura smugly said.

“I am for your world, am i?” Carmilla intended this as a joke, but she knew it meant something more. She was the only one to know the truth behind that playful question, though. 

Laura rolled her eyes. “Stop or your brain is going to hurt with all of those compliments.” She got up and started to gather her clothes. 

“I wanted to tell you something..” she began. She didn’t even know why she was going to say what she was going to say, because it’s not like Carmilla needed to know these things, they were not a couple, after all. “..i’m going away for a while, i’m going to visit my mom. She lives in Montréal.”

“How long for?” Carmilla asked. 

“Two weeks. It’s been two months since i last saw her.”

Carmilla was relieved to hear  _ two weeks _ , and not  _ months _ . She knew she was beginning to get attached to this tiny girl, but she actually had to admit it to herself first. “Ok, well..i’ll be here when you get back.” She smiled at her.

“My parents divorced when i was 19. I don’t really get along with my mom, but sometimes i do miss her. And, oddly enough, she misses me too.”

Carmilla frowned, “oddly enough?”

“She’s a bit of a religious person and a homophobe. She was always a bit cruel with me, which is one of the reasons my dad wanted a divorce.” 

“I’m really sorry..if she gives you a hard time when you’re there, you can call me, you know that, right?” 

Laura gave her a heartwarming smile. “Thank you.” She took her bag from where she had thrown it before, put it on her shoulder, and went to sit on the bed, where Carmilla was. “I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon, so i guess i’ll see you in two weeks..”, she paused, not sure of what to do or say next, “..can i kiss you?”

Carmilla’s heart skipped a beat, or two. Her initial surprised expression turned into a wide smile, “you don’t have to ask.” 

They both leaned in, and the moment their lips touched, each of them knew this kiss was different from all of the others. It was extremely slow and passionate. Something quite new. Most of the kisses they had shared were hungry, full of lust and desire. This was the opposite of those. 

Carmilla brought her hand up and caressed Laura’s cheek. The feeling of that warm hand on her cheek, triggered a mirrored action on Laura’s part. 

They both drew back after a while and looked at each other intensely, as if both of them understood what that kiss meant. 

“Give a very gay hug to your mom from me.” Carmilla joked. 

Laura laughed, gave her a quick peck on the lips and stood up. “See you in two weeks, Carmilla.” 

“Goodnight, Laura.” 

That night Carmilla couldn’t sleep. She kept tossing and turning in bed, with too many thoughts in her head. She knew she was going to miss her in the upcoming days, and that scared her. Because, how long had it been since she last truly missed someone? 

* * *

“Was the trip ok? Does your dad know you got here safe?” 

“Mom i’m fine and i’ll write to him in a minute..just help me with these bags.”

Laura’s mom, Anne, was really looking forward to seeing her daughter. You could tell from how tight it was the hug she gave her. Despite being a bit rude sometimes, she really cared for Laura. She was a math teacher in high school and was always happy to help her daughter, being math not her forte. 

That day she went to sleep pretty early, she was exhausted from the trip and really needed a good night’s sleep.

The next day, Anne was at school for the whole day, but she had promised Laura a nice homemade pizza. 

“This pizza is delicious mom. Though, one thing is missing.”

“What?”

“You didn’t put onions..and you know how much i love them.” Laura mocked being hurt by the lack of said vegetable. 

“Honey, i didn’t have them at home and didn’t have time to go get them, but next time i will.”

They ate and a pretty comfortable conversation enveloped them, until the fateful question was asked. 

“So..do you have someone or are you seeing anyone? If you’re willing to share this with me..” Anne asked a bit unsure.

Of course her mother was going to ruin her stay the second day she was there, she thought. Great timing. Before she could muster up a word, she found herself incapable of answering that question. Did she have someone? Carmilla was surely in her life, but did she  _ have _ her? 

“Um..i don’t know, something like that.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know what we are..probably nothing.” She thought back to that last kiss and blushed.

“Well..i’m sure you’ll figure it out. Where did you meet?”

“At a party.” She kind of lied, she really didn’t want to explain to her the story.

Anne just nodded and waited in silence for her daughter to maybe add something more. When nothing came, she asked, “can i know something more? the name of this mysterious guy, for example?”

Here we go again. 

Laura audibly sighed. “Again?” Laura crossed both of her arms onto the table. 

“Again what?” 

“There is no guy here. There never will be. You know that and yet you keep pushing this.”

Anne didn’t speak. Laura could feel herself hot from the rage rising inside of her. The silence on the other part didn’t help containing that anger threatening to burst out. 

“For the umpteenth time, i am a lesbian, mom. The mysterious guy is a girl.”

“I know, but i just..”

Laura abruptly interrupted her, “then why the fuck do you ask me if i’m dating a man?!”

“I didn’t know you were still a lesbian..i mean, i don’t even remember the last time you told me something about a girl.”

“Well, do you blame me? You really can’t see why?” Laura’s words hung in the room without a word from her mother.

Laura stood up, brought her empty plate to the sink and said, “stop erasing me”, and went upstairs. 

She changed into some sweatpants and went straight under the sheets. She felt like crying, but she was also accustomed to this behaviour from her mom. In a way, she became numb, she couldn’t even spill a tear. And that’s a signal that her mother had hurt her almost beyond repair. 

* * *

The next couple of days were pretty quiet. They both avoided what had happened. Just some small talk here and there. 

“I’m going out to dinner with some colleagues, i’ll see you tomorrow morning Laura.” Anne said putting a raincoat on.

“Have a good evening”, was Laura’s response.

She had nothing to do there. She didn’t know anyone in Montréal, so she settled into the couch and chose a movie. 

Laura was a pretty strong woman, but when your parent doesn’t accept you, it’s hard to let it go and pretend it doesn’t affect you. She wondered what Carmilla might be doing on this rainy night and decided to send her a text. 

Laura(8:48pm): Hi..how are you doing?

She slapped herself mentally after pressing send. What a lame text, of course she was not going to answer that. She’s surely out having a good time. 

Two hours passed, and no reply came. She couldn’t even focus on the tv. Until the buzzing of her phone brought her back from the trance which had captured her. 

Carmilla(10:55pm): hey! sorry i was out to dinner..i’m tired, but fine. How is everything there?

Carmilla(10:56pm): need me to come and save you? ;)

Laura(10:59pm): i’d love to have you here 

WOAH. That was bold.

Carmilla blushed and even though no one was there to see her red cheeks, she tried to compose herself. 

Carmilla(11:04pm): did something happen?

Laura(11:06pm): yeah..can i call you? 

Laura smiled when she saw the incoming call from Carmilla. She told her about the other night and loved how supportive she was. When the call ended she went upstairs to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. She noticed the display of her phone light up and saw the icon message. 

Carmilla(11:45pm): never mind, that very gay hug is for you. Goodnight <3 

Laura couldn’t help but giggle. She went to sleep with the biggest grin on her face. 

* * *

“I’m sorry for the other night Laura..” Anne started. 

“Are you? Really?” Laura asked bitterly from the other end of the couch, where they were both seated.

“Well..i don’t really know how am i supposed to behave and what am i supposed to do. It’s not something i witness every day..”

“You would have known by now, if you hadn’t pushed me away.” 

Anne moved a bit closer and put her hand over Laura’s. “I’m trying, ok?” 

“Try a little harder.”

“I really want to be better..and understand you.” 

“Like that’s ever going to happen.” Laura stood up, “i’m going for a run and then i’ll read for a bit. Goodnight for later.” 

Maybe Laura had been a bit rude and harsh. It looked like her mother was genuinely being honest. Maybe she didn’t deserve that, she had to start somewhere if she wanted her daughter back, right?

The stay had come to an end and she was going to be back home in the afternoon. Despite some arguments, she had a nice time, Anne could really be funny when she wanted to. 

Her mom brought her to the airport and was helping her with her luggage. 

“Thanks mom. I’ll write to you later, when i’m home, ok?”

“Yeah..give me a hug, come on.”

All of a sudden, she noticed and realized that after that fight, she became sweeter and much more affectionate, which was something she rarely had seen. 

“I saw how you were smiling at your phone before..was it her?”

Laura was taken aback. Was that her mother? And yes she had been texting with Carmilla and she was the reason of said smile. 

“Yes..”

“Since i see she makes you happy..why don’t you bring this mysterious girl here next time? I’d like to meet her.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	8. Sweet and sour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fight..and maybe some peace?

Will finished his shift and approached a table where Carmilla, Danny, Perry and LaFontaine were seated. 

“Where the hell is Kirsch? No bro-night for me?” Will said pouting jokingly. 

“I am your bro if you want.” Carmilla joked back. “He’s in the bathroom, relax.”

He laughed, “isn’t someone missing?” 

He knew what he was doing. He meant Laura and wanted to test Carmilla, who just side-eyed him.

“Laura said she was coming.” Danny said. 

Carmilla didn’t say a word to that. She just stood up and went out with Will, who wanted to smoke. 

After something like half an hour, “holy shit, she’s back and she’s not late!” LaFontaine cried out as soon as she saw Laura heading towards their table. 

“Hi..i’m back, do you want me to go back home and come late?” Laura teased LaFontaine. 

“Shut up and sit down. I’m going to buy you a drink.” Danny stood up and went to the bar counter. 

As she was sitting down she shot a glance at everyone and she immediately noticed the lack of someone’s presence. 

“Isn’t Carmilla here?” She tried to sound casual and aloof. 

In that moment, Danny came back and placed Laura’s drink onto the table. “Oh, she’s at the bar with some girl.” LaFontaine answered. 

Her stomach dropped. Fool me, who imagined we could be something, she thought. She looked around trying to find her with her eyes, but at the same time praying she couldn’t see her really close to another girl. Unfortunately, she spotted her. 

Of course she was out to pick up girls, Laura thought. Who wanted to deal with an insecure mess, who had a mother who would probably judge every little thing if they were girlfriends.

Carmilla was leaned onto the bar counter, waiting to catch the bartender’s attention. A girl had her arm wrapped around Carmilla’s waist and her chin on her shoulder. 

Laura felt like running home. Like running at full speed. But that would have risen questions she didn’t want to answer to. 

“That’s Elsie, her kind of ex.” Danny said after tracking down Laura’s eyesight.

“Kind of?” Laura spat out almost automatically. 

“They dated or fucked, i don’t really know what terms to use when it comes to her..for a while, a couple of months i guess.” 

“Yeah, she was not in love, definitely not.” Kirsch added.

Laura wanted to ask if she had ever been in love with someone, but she thought it was a conversation she would prefer having with Carmilla and herself. It felt right that way. 

“Well, we all know who was her only true love..” Danny said.

“Oh god, please don’t remind me.” Kirsch cut her off rolling his eyes.

Laura watched his actions and understood that whoever it was, they were not liked by him. 

“Uuh tell us!” LaFontaine burst in.

“There was this girl years ago..damn, Carmilla was head over heels for her. Never seen her like that.” Danny said almost whispering.

“And then? I mean, what happened?” LaFontaine asked. Laura was relieved someone besides her wanted to know, she wouldn’t have had the balls to ask.

“Carmilla got cheated on. The end. But i don’t know..if she ever were to come back, i’m not sure Carmilla would reject her.” Danny kept going on. “Now, she’s just fucking around..see?” She gestured towards the bar. 

Carmilla was being dragged by that girl to the dancefloor. Laura’s stomach dropped again. All of these confessions made her feel like she was just a pawn in her game. 

“Who wants some shots?” Laura asked suddenly. She knew this was a bad idea, but it was better to suppress some feelings for a while than mope around. 

Laura still hadn’t seen or better said, hadn’t talked to Carmilla yet, since she came back. After downing the fourth shot, she stood up and went in the direction of the bathroom. While heading there, she spotted Carmilla, she approached her until the other girl noticed her. 

“Hey, you’re back Laur-”

“Oh no, fuck you!” Laura shouted at her pointing her index finger to her face. 

Carmilla was left gobsmacked, no words came out of her mouth. Laura was standing there, looking like she was waiting for a response back, but after some moments of awkward staring, she run off to the bathroom. 

Carmilla followed her.

She opened the bathroom door, “what the hell was that for?”

“Oh please, go back out there, that girl must be missing you already.”

“Excuse me?! Are you drunk?” Carmilla brought her hands to her hips.

Laura didn’t answer back. 

“So you are. I know you well enough now, i know that face you make when you don’t want to admit something.”

Laura still didn’t utter a word. 

“Ok, fuck this.” Carmilla turned to get out of the bathroom.

“Wait.” Laura finally spoke.

She turned quickly, “wait what?”

“I’m drunk yes..but i just-, i don’t know what i’m doing. Didn’t you miss me?”

Carmilla was taken aback by that question. She didn’t even have the time to process it that Laura was adding something to that.

“Clearly not, because you’re already sticking your tongue in that girl’s mouth.”

“First of all i didn’t kiss her..actually, why am i even explaining myself to you?” She paused for a moment. “You know what? You came back a week ago, yes i was counting the days, and you didn’t even send me a text..not that i was expecting you to do that, because you’re not my girlfriend..but the fact that you didn’t, gives you zero rights to come and talk to me like this now.” Her voice was a bit louder than she intended it to be.

“Please don’t shout at me.” Laura looked like she was making herself as small as possible.

Carmilla noticed that and immediately regretted the volume of her voice. “Sorry.”

“Now that you’ve lectured me, you can go back to her.”

“Is that what you want? Because i actually missed you and i couldn’t wait for you to come back.”

“I see how you couldn’t wait. More like, you couldn’t wait to add me to your list of conquests and find a new one.”

Carmilla stayed in silence at that. Then after some moments, with the calmest tone, she said, “i should be the one to tell you ‘fuck you’ after everything you’ve said to me, but i won’t. You already know you deserve that, if you’re not too stupid. But i know you’re not. Now, i’m going to walk out, and don’t try to stop me.”

As Laura softly said, “Carmilla..”, she was already out of that door. 

Laura smacked her hands on her thighs. She knew this was bad, but her dizzy head didn’t allow her to think things through properly at the moment. She collected herself a bit and went back at the table, where everyone else was.

She eyed the bar to see if Carmilla was still there, not daring to ask her friends that. Her eyes found her at the bar counter, she was fiddling with her bag and wallet, she was probably paying. 

“No, Anne and I didn’t work out in the end..” Danny was explaining to Kirsch and the others.

Laura focused for a bit on the conversation at the table, but quickly turned her mind off when she noticed Carmilla coming towards their table. 

“Hey, i’m heading home..just wanted to let you know that everything is paid for the table.” Carmilla said, putting her wallet away. 

Everyone thanked her except for Laura. She didn’t even have the courage to look at her right now. 

“Already going home? Not going home with her?” Danny gestured towards Elsie. 

“Nope.” Carmilla’s eyes were fixed on the table. 

“Why not? It looked like you were really close!” LaFontaine exaggerated on the  _ really _ .

“We are not. I’m not interested. See you soon, people!” Carmilla walked away smiling just at Kirsch and Will. 

They all said bye, except for Laura, again.

* * *

A couple of days passed from that night. Laura didn’t try to contact her and neither did the other girl. She had time to think, aside from work obviously. She knew she had fucked up, even though she couldn’t remember every word that was said. 

She had come to a realization. She was being jealous. She was jealous. Maybe a bit too much. The scene she pulled that night was frankly embarrassing. Carmilla had said she missed her, so there was no particular reason to be so worked up. Sure, there was that girl, Elsie, but at the end of the night, Carmilla just went home alone. And she had even paid for everyone’s drinks, Laura’s too, and she didn’t even thank her. 

She picked up her phone. Then she remembered Carmilla’s last words to her and put it back down. 

_ Now, i’m going to walk out, and don’t try to stop me. _

Did this mean that whatever they were was over? 

She felt like she absolutely needed someone to talk to. She sent LaFontaine and Perry a text asking for a coffee. 

The next day they agreed to meet at Perry’s house, since she had just made cinnamon buns. As Laura greeted them and sat down at the kitchen’s table, LaFontaine asked, “well, what’s the big matter here? We’re at your service L.”

“I don’t know, i’m not sure i can say it now.” Laura fiddled with a napkin, folding it in weird ways.

“Come on, you know you can talk to us, we won’t judge you.” Perry comforted her.

“You got fired?” LaFontaine daringly joked, hoping it wouldn’t be that.

“No, worse actually. I’d prefer to be fired than having to deal with this.” Laura let out a chuckle. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Laura.” Perry was listening closely despite taking out of the over another batch. She then sat down, to fully give her the attention she needed.

“You know Carmilla, right? Yeah of course you do. We..we kind of have...had something.”

Both of them were looking at Laura with wide eyes, expecting for more.

Laura told them the whole story from the beginning. She smiled at the memories of every little thing Carmilla did for her, how sweet she had always been and how caring. 

“..and when i came back from my mother’s, i didn’t tell her. I saw her the other night since i had come back. Then i saw her with that girl and got jealous. We fought in the bathroom, like i told you, and then nothing.”

“Ok. So it’s established that you like her, right?” LaFontaine asked.

“Well...i think i do.” 

“Does she like you?” 

“I-i don’t know..” Laura said.

Perry interrupted her, “i think it’s pretty clear she has a thing for you..if you want something serious with her, though, you should definitely tell her. I mean, you were the one who suggested being friends with benefits, right? Maybe she wants something more too, maybe she doesn’t, but you have to tell her what you truly want. In that way, you’ll find out what she wants too.”

“You’re good at this.” LaFontaine looked at Perry with loving eyes. 

“I know, i’m really scared though..because i feel like she could be perfect for me, but i think i’ve already fucked up too badly.” Laura was looking down at her lap. 

“You should have told us from the start..i wouldn’t have made those comments about that girl the other night. I’m sorry Laura.” LaFontaine said.

“It’s fine, you didn’t know. It’s on me. I’ll go talk to her this afternoon then.” 

“Good, then keep us updated, ok sweetheart?” Perry gave her another cinnamon bun. 

“I will. Thanks.”

* * *

She was getting dressed, after a shower, and she kept replaying in her head what to say when she would have been face to face with the girl she liked. She liked Carmilla. It was not entirely new. She knew from the first times they hung out together, that she felt something for this girl. Admitting it was a blast of emotions, this was new. 

Laura put her bag on her shoulder, and put inside a little bag in which there was a cinnamon bun. She thought she absolutely could give up on a dose of sugar for the girl she liked. 

She rang the bell to her apartment but no one answered. She knew Carmilla was usually at home by 6pm. It was 6:11pm. She decided to wait for a bit and sat down on the little steps on the front door. 

After 20 minutes, a man approached the house. He looked like he needed to enter, so Laura stood up and stepped aside, letting him use a key or ring to someone. 

She happened to be looking in that direction when he rang a bell. She immediately noticed whose it was. The one on the top left. The one she just rang a while ago. 

She was kind of relieved to see no one answered him either.

“Do you know Carmilla, by any chance? She lives here.” The man asked all of a sudden.

“Yeah, i’m waiting for her actually.” Laura replied.

“Oh great, are you two friends?”

It was not the moment for her mind to go off at a tangent and try to define what they were. “Um, yes, why?”

“I’m her father. Her brother Will told me she was a bit down and upset about something, so i thought i’d made her a surprise and try to cheer her up a bit.”

Laura felt immediately sick at that. If she was the reason Carmilla was down, she could never forgive herself. 

“Upset about what?” As soon as she asked that she regretted it.

“I don’t know..can you give me her phone number? I bought a new phone and don’t know how to sync contacts and absolutely can’t remember phone numbers..” He obviously lied, he never had Carmilla’s number, but Laura didn’t know that.

“Yeah, sure.” She showed the number and let him copy it on his phone. 

“Thank you, you’re very kind. Are you still going to wait here?”

“Yes, i really need to talk to her.”

“Well, hope she comes home soon. I’m going to go, thanks again. Bye.”

“Have a good evening.” Laura replied back. 

Another 20 minutes passed, when Laura recognized the walk of the person coming in her direction.

“Hey.” Laura simply said smiling a bit.

“Hey.” Carmilla paused for a second, “what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you..and talk to you.”

“Do you want to come in?” Carmilla was opening the front door and keeping it open waiting for Laura’s answer. 

“Yes.” She followed her inside.

“You can sit on the couch, i’ll go put these books in my study.” 

Carmilla disappeared and Laura was once again left to her thoughts. Was this a good idea? What was she going to say? 

“Long day today?” Laura asked when Carmilla came back into view.

“You could say that. Have you been waiting long down there?” She took off her sweater and sat down on the couch too, at a respectable distance.

“Just a bit.” 

“Well..what did you want to talk about?”    


There were a million words in her head right now, but all she managed to say was, “i like you”, which in all fairness, was no small thing. She corrected herself, “i think i like you.” 

Carmilla was fixing a random point in the air. When she turned her eyes towards Laura, her blank expression became soft. “Oh..”

Laura felt hot in the face, “sorry that’s not what you wanted to hear..i should apologize for the other night. I behaved like a child and you didn’t deserve anything i said. I know i was drunk and i want you to know i didn’t mean those things…”

“Laura stop.” Carmilla couldn’t hold the stare, so she fiddled with her hands in her lap. “I’m hurt that you thought i was trying to go home with that girl..and that you thought i wasn’t thinking about you. And i’m hurt you didn’t tell me you were back..i mean, you told Danny. And not me.” 

She was right. Totally. Laura wanted to slap herself for this. “I was scared..” 

“Of what? Everything was fine until then.”

This was not the moment to bring the mother subject up. Not the moment to tell her her mother would like to meet her. “I don’t know..of things, of you.”

“Me?”

“Not you you, of what you make me feel. This might sound stupid to you, but i’ve never really felt like this in a long time.”

“It’s not stupid, Laura.” Carmilla shifted a bit closer to her, unconsciously or consciously it is not known.

Laura noticed that and felt like giving in and dropping all of the barriers that she was so hardly trying to keep up. “Can i hug you?”

Carmilla just opened her arms, letting the other girl lean into her. Laura pressed her face in Carmilla’s neck and wrapped both her arms around her torso. The seated position was not the most comfortable, but both of them were happy to just recognize that familiar smell of the other. 

They stayed like that for a bit, none of them initiating anything else. Laura tried to pull back a little, but Carmilla didn’t allow it, she kept her close. So she dove her nose back in the dark-haired girl’s neck. 

When Laura tried to pull back again, and Carmilla still didn’t let her, she murmured against her neck, “so clingy. why aren’t you letting me go?, with a slight chuckle.

“Because if i’m letting you go, i’m letting you go.” Carmilla said.

Panic washed over Laura when she heard Carmilla say those words with the same calm tone she used a couple of nights ago. She was trying to process what she meant by that, but the tone threw her off and scared her.

This time it was Carmilla who pulled back. 

“I accept your apology, but i don’t think we’re ready for anything. Let’s just stop...this.” She gestured between the two of them.

“You mean temporarily or what?” Laura asked hoping for the first one.

“I don’t know, temporarily..we’ll see.” 

“Wow.”

“Wow what?! You were the one who wanted to be fuck buddies, then you come here and tell me you like me..” Carmilla was cut off. “I was confused and-” Carmilla cut her off this time. “I don’t want to hear any of that..i think you need some time to yourself. Maybe we’ll talk in a while, maybe we won’t.”

“Oh..ok.” Laura was devastated to hear that. She had come here with the nicest intentions and this was the last thing she thought would have happened.

Carmilla stood up and put her sweater back on. 

All of a sudden, Laura’s heart felt cold too. 

“I guess i’ll go..” Laura was now at the door, she looked back and saw Carmilla fixing the ground. She left without saying anything else, there was no need to.

Carmilla had to muster up all of her courage to keep her from running after her. She succeeded in that, but the result was that she felt empty. 

Some time later, a knock startled her and brought her out of her bubble. She hoped it wasn’t Laura, because she thought that this time finding courage was a much more difficult task. 

“Hey sis! I brought you the book you asked me!” Will handed her a book with a yellow cover. 

“Will..thank you.” 

He raised his other hand showing a little bag, “and this. It was actually here, just outside your door.”

Carmilla frowned and took the little bag. She didn’t have the time to open it, that Will shouted, “i have a date, i’ve got to go! See yaaaa!”, and left running down the stairs. 

Carmilla just chuckled and closed the door. She immediately opened what she had in her hand and looked inside. A cinnamon bun. She unconsciously smiled.

Carmilla(8:22pm): the cinnamon bun..was it you?

Laura(8:32pm): yes. How did you know it was me?

Carmilla(8:36pm): it kinda smells like you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	9. Lights go out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um, mostly smut. Smuttier than i initially intended it to be. (i'm embarrassed, okay bye enjoy).

_ It kinda smells like you. _

How was Laura supposed to sleep after that? 

As soon as she had read that message, tears started streaming down her cheeks and she hadn’t even realized that until one fell on her hand. That night she cried. She was pretty sure that what Carmilla had told her was a goodbye. And she hadn’t even answered her back. Well, what could she say? 

One day, something like a week after that, she was at the grocery store. She was looking through the jams, she felt like baking a cake. 

Her phone buzzed.

?(3:21pm): Hey Laura! It’s Will..are you free in a couple of hours?

Laura stared at the phone for a bit. How did he get her number?

Laura(3:25pm): Hi..yes, i’ll be home later, why?

Will(3:28pm): well can i drop by? let’s say..at 5?

Laura(3:30pm): yes sure. 

She wanted to ask if it was something about Carmilla, but she didn’t want to sound desperate. 

She hadn’t seen her in a week. 

“Do you want a slice of cake?” Laura asked as Will sat down on her couch.

“No thanks, i’m not that hungry right now.” He fidgeted with his hands. Laura looked at those hands, that was something she had noticed Carmilla did too when something was bothering her.

“Well..don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you here? I mean, we don’t really talk much, me and you, and i don’t get why you would want to talk to me now..”

“I - um, did Carmilla ever tell you about our father?”

What about their father? Yes, she had met him while she was waiting for her that night. But, what about him?

“No..why?”

He looked down. He really thought she would have told her.

“He - he’s never been in our lives. Never in hers and for 7 years in mine. He left our mother when Carmilla was born. And now he’s back, he wrote me a letter and we went out with him..” He paused for a while, “..and he contacted me again saying he would like to meet us again. Our mother included, and Carmilla was furious when i told her and told me to leave her alone.”

Laura’s mouth was open. “Wait wait Will, slow down. Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because it’s been five days and i haven’t heard from Carmilla. She’s not answering me or anyone else, i went to her place and she’s not home or she simply doesn’t open.” 

“And what do you want me to do?” Laura asked feeling a bit helpless. She truly didn’t know what to do and how to help him since they were not talking at all.

“Can you tell her to please answer me and that we need to talk properly? As if she wouldn’t answer you. ”

“Will..i don’t talk and i don’t see her anymore.” It broke her heart a bit to say this out loud, firstly because of how she felt about it, but also because she could see her brother really cared about her. 

“What? Why?”

“Um - she told me we weren’t ready for anything and broke whatever we had off. I’m sorry, i don’t think i can help much here.”

“Oh, i’m sorry Laura. I didn’t know..don’t worry i’ll try to solve it myself. I don’t want to put you through this.”

“It’s okay.” She didn’t know what else to say.

He looked at the little table in front of the couch. “I’ll leave you now, i don’t want to be in the way, i see you have a lot of work here. But, if you ever want to hang out together sometime, i’d like that.”

Laura was surprised to hear that. She thought that every time she would see him, he would remind her of her, but she tried to send that fear away. He seemed a good guy and someone really caring and loving. 

“Yeah, maybe a coffee on Sunday? Are you free?” Laura found herself asking.

“Absolutely.” He stood up and went to the door. “See you on Sunday. Thank you again Laura.”

“For what?”

“Thank you anyway. At least you listened to me.” 

He left before Laura could say anything to that.

Why wouldn’t Carmilla want to talk to her brother? The times they were all out together they seemed really close. She thought about writing to her, but decided against it immediately. 

* * *

“Oh come on, Laura, you know i wouldn’t lie to you.” LaFontaine said.

“Like that’s never happened, uh?” Laura glared at them.

“Well..do as you wish. But there’s an incredibly hot Carmilla at the bar.” They sipped their drink. 

“Yeah yeah..sure.” Laura still didn’t believe them.

“Alone.” LaFontaine remarked.

Laura made no movement.

“And she’s looking right this way.”

Laura’s eyes snapped up to them. 

“Don’t turn around right now, though.”

“I won’t. Do i have to remember you she told me we weren’t working?” Laura let out a bit annoyed. 

“She still seems interested in you, though.” They smirked. “She’s been looking at you for a while.” 

“I think you need some glasses LaF.”

“Well..sorry to break it to you, but i think you lost your chance L. She’s busy now.”

Laura turned her head quickly hoping her neck wouldn’t crack. Her eyebrows shot up. If it was physically possible, they would have reached her hairline.

Carmilla was wearing a dress. 

_ Fuck me. _

_ Quite literally. _

Laura had never seen her in a dress before. From where she was, it looked like it perfectly hugged all of her curves. 

A girl was standing in the stool that faced the one where Carmilla sat. They were talking and both had a drink. 

Ok. So Carmilla was already back on track, back trying to pick up some girl. 

She felt extremely jealous. Carmilla never wore a dress when they went out together, not that they were a thing, but still. The thought of Carmilla dressing up for some other girl made her stomach twirl. 

“Fuck.” Laura almost whispered, but LaFontaine heard that.

“Well..i guess i’m going to head home and read something sciency.”

“What? You’re leaving?”

“I’ll leave you to your hot stuff.” They winked while standing up and leaving the bar. 

“No no no no, get back here.” Laura let out, but it was too late.

Great. Now she was alone. She felt hot all of a sudden. She just wanted to be at home, on her couch, watching a movie. 

“Hey, want to get out of here?” An athletic and muscular guy was standing near her. 

“Um - no thanks i’m okay here.” Biggest lie ever. 

Why would she say that? He’d surely sit down and that was the last thing she wanted.

“Then i can stay here.” He obviously sat down. “You’re hot and you looked sad..i thought i could cheer you up.”

She rolled her eyes internally. With the corner of her eyes she saw a figure moving. Carmilla. She had to pass near her booth in order to get out of the bar, if that’s what she intended of doing. 

Yep, she was coming in that direction. Laura looked at her. She knew she had to lock eyes with her since she was passing near her, but Carmilla didn’t raise her eyes. 

That stung. 

Laura looked at her figure leaving the pub, unconcerned by the guy in front of her.

“Sorry i have to go.” She stood up and went for the exit too. When she was out, she saw her with Will. I guess she finally answered him, she thought. Approaching them would results in an uncomfortable situation and going back in was even worse. So, she opted for going home. 

“Hey Laura.” Will shouted. 

She turned around and slowly walked towards them. 

“I thought i recognized you.” He added.

“Hi Will.” She smiled at him. “Hey.” She looked at Carmilla and lowered her eyes immediately after saying that, feeling shy.

“Hey.” Carmilla simply replied. Laura didn’t dare to look at her again, for fear she would combust right there. 

“I’ve got to help Kirsch inside for a bit, we’ll catch each other later?” Will asked. 

“Yes, sure.” 

Now she was left alone with Carmilla. Laura was sure Will had left on purpose. Was Carmilla going to be friendly or what?

“You look good.” Laura spat out, regretting it.

“You too. Your hair is nice like this.” 

_ Friendly then. _

She didn’t even remember she still had her hair in a ponytail. 

“I’ve never seen you with your hair pulled up.”

Laura blushed and didn’t know what to say. Carmilla continued, “well, i guess i’ll leave you to your date.”

“My date?” She remembered that guy who was trying to hit on her. Carmilla must have seen him. “No he’s not my date.” 

_ I wish you were my date.  _ She didn’t say that out loud but she thought it. 

“Do you want to have a drink?” Laura asked.

“Are you offering?” Carmilla smirked shyly. Laura couldn’t possibly believe she would ever witness a Carmilla smirking shyly. That had to be the most endearing and at the same time alluring thing ever. As if her crush wasn’t enough like this.

“I guess you have to find out.” Laura turned and walked in, and heard Carmilla following her. 

They were waiting for their drinks at the bar counter, Carmilla leaned closer to Laura’s ear. The music was loud but she also craved for the other girl’s body heat. “Why don’t we go sit outside on the bench?” 

Laura didn’t want to turn her head and face those beautiful dark eyes. They were extremely close, so she just nodded.

Even though it was night and it was April, the air outside was not crisp at all. There was the perfect weather to stay out at night and have a drink with someone. 

As they sat down, leaving some space between them, Laura began, “Will told me about your father, and i understand if you don’t want to tell me anything about it, but i just -”

Carmilla interrupted her, “about that, i’ve been wanting to tell you. It’s not that easy and i don’t really like talking about it.”

“Well i’m here if you want.” Laura moved her hand and placed it on Carmilla’s knee. She stroked with her thumb for a bit and then removed it. 

“I know..um - what did Will tell you?” 

“Just that you’ve never had a father..and he came back now.”

“Right. Will is all excited to see him and i kind of get it..i am not, on the other hand. He said some things..that were not nice for me.” Laura didn’t speak, she just waited for her to continue, if she wanted to. “He said he didn’t want another child, so he didn’t want me and that until i came into this world everything was good. I practically was a mistake.”

Laura closed her eyes. Those must be horrible things for any person to hear. “You were not a mistake, Carmilla. You are an awesome woman. I wish i had met you sooner.” She didn’t really intend to say that last part, but it slipped. Carmilla turned her head toward her at those words, and looked intensely in her eyes. 

“I shouldn’t be hurt by someone i basically don’t know.” Carmilla laughed bitterly. 

“This just proves my point more.” Carmilla looked at her a bit confused. “He should have been there, it’s not your fault in any way. It’s natural that you care.” 

“He also wants to meet my mother. But hell no, he’s not seeing her. The hell he will.”

In that moment, Kirsch came out and shouted at them, “hey lovebirds, we have shots if you want to join us!” 

They both looked at each other. That little nickname made their faces redder than normal.

“We’re coming!” Carmilla shouted back.

Laura stood up, “let’s have some fun, no sad talking!”, and took Carmilla’s hand in hers, but then remembered they weren’t a thing anymore, so she blushed and let it go. 

The only two available seats were the ones on one side of the booth, where they both fit perfectly. Of course. They sat down and drank their first shot. Kirsch started talking about why kangaroos jump. The conversations spiralled from there on which animals could jump and which couldn’t.

Laura felt brave, maybe thanks to the liquid she had in her stomach. She put her elbow on the table and rested her head on it, ogling Carmilla, taking in how that dress outlined the curve her ass and thigh created. She knew they weren’t supposed to go down that road and flirt, but she was just looking, after all.

Carmilla, who was listening to the weird conversation happening, felt eyes on her and turned toward Laura. “What?”

“I like your dress.” Which was another way to say  _ I like you _ . 

Carmilla sensed there was more to it than that, and raised her eyebrows at her, “you like me in this dress or just the dress?” 

Laura’s face reddened. “Who wouldn’t like you?” As soon as she said that, she hoped it wouldn’t trigger anything and that Carmilla’s mind wouldn’t go to her father. 

Carmilla just chuckled.

“I’m telling you they don’t jump, i’ve read that somewhere!” Kirsch was animatedly discussing with Danny. 

A loud noise was heard in the whole bar and the light went out. 

“That fucking generator!” Will said annoyed. 

A minute passed but it was still dark. “Ok i’m going to see what the hell is happening.” Danny stood up and went to the kitchen. 

“I swear it’s the third time this week.” Kirsch said.

“I know, i told Claire to call those guys but apparently no one came.” Will replied.

Carmilla felt a hand on her knee. It had to be Laura’s since the other two boys were too far from her to be able to touch her. She stiffened, not knowing what to do or say. She missed the blonde’s touch, but it would be hypocrite from her to accommodate that hand, since she had pushed Laura away. But she couldn’t bring herself to brush that warm hand away. 

Carmilla felt Laura shifting closer to her, while her hand rested still on her knee. After a bit, a thumb started brushing slowly on her skin. She unconsciously opened her legs a bit and Laura must have taken that as a hint, because she felt that hand come up on her thigh, on her dress. It went down again and tugged a bit at the hem of the dress, which was just above her knees. It wasn’t too tight so she managed to roll it up a bit.

Why was Laura being so bold? Carmilla asked herself. She felt a shot of arousal just from that thought. 

Laura’s hand was now on her thigh, skin touching skin. 

“Tell me to stop, if you don’t want it.” Laura whispered in the other girl’s ear, making her shiver a bit.

Carmilla turned her head slightly, “I don’t -”, Laura removed her hand. “I don’t want you to stop.” She took Laura’s hand in hers and brought it back on her thigh. 

She knew it was a bit risky. She was probably red as a tulip and the light might come back anytime. Kirsch and Will were sat on some chairs just a couple of feet away from them, but they were too engrossed in some talk to pay attention to them, plus it was dark and the only source of light came from the moon that filtered through some windows. 

Laura slipped her hand on the inside of her thigh and then up, where she felt warmth coming from. She grazed lightly with her finger on her underwear, tickling her clit up and down. 

Laura shifted even closer and brought her mouth to Carmilla’s ear, “you’re awfully turning me on tonight.” 

Carmilla gasped when she felt her panties being pushed to the side and a finger lingering on her centre, teasing and feeling her juice.

“I can’t do it here.” Carmilla whispered almost out of breath.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

“Yes.”

She readjusted her panties and dress, caught some breath, “guys, i’m going home and Laura is coming too.” 

“Did you two make up?” Will asked.

“Mind your business, brother.” Carmilla said trying to make her way to the door with Laura’s hand in hers. 

Laura still hadn’t figured the night out. What did Carmilla want? Just a good fuck? Or was there more? She herself knew her mind was fogged by how horny she was. 

“Go lay on my bed, i’ll be there in a moment.” Laura said, heading towards the kitchen.

When she came back into the bedroom, she placed a glass of water on the nightstand. “You’re going to need that.” She crawled on Carmilla, who was smiling wickedly. “I’m just going to eat you out, don’t worry.” 

“Oh, i’m not worried. At all.” Carmilla softly said. 

Laura kissed her slowly, loving the feeling of Carmilla’s lips on her again. “Take this fucking dress off.”

“Fucking dress?” Carmilla raised an eyebrow.

“You’re turning me on too much in that..not that without, it would be any different, but still. It was a really hard night for me.”

“So you’re saying you’ve been watching me too?” Carmilla traced her finger along Laura’s back. 

Laura blushed and nodded. So, Carmilla was still interested in her to some extent. “Well, weren’t you going to eat me out?”

“You’re eager too tonight.” Laura got up and undressed herself. She normally wasn’t this fearless, but the booze had probably some effect on her actions. “Come here.” Laura gestured to Carmilla to get near her. 

Carmilla extended her arm and Laura took her hand and pulled her up and close to her. “Turn around.” 

Carmilla’s ass was pressed against Laura’s front. Laura put her hands on the other girl’s hips, going up and down. She rested her head on her shoulder, “I’m going to undress you now, and then have you writhe under me.”

Carmilla just moaned really softly. 

“Is that okay?” Laura made sure. 

“Yes, cutie.” 

Laura shivered at the nickname. She hadn’t heard that in a while and it aroused her even more. 

She zipped down the dress and made it fall to the ground, leaving her just with her bra and panties. She brought her hand to Carmilla’s breasts and squeezed them lightly. “Fuck”, Carmilla let out and reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. 

Laura kept kissing her neck and caressing her sides, until one hand reached down and pressed on her pussy from above her panties. “I feel you’re pretty wet.”

“It’s kinda hard not to be tonight.”

“Why is that?” Laura questioned curiously.

“You’re being pretty forward and i like you like this.”

Laura pressed a little harder, eliciting a moan from Carmilla. “These panties have to go, i want that wetness on my hand, not wasted on this fabric.”

Carmilla felt a wave of arousal and was sure she was wetting her panties even more. She felt kind of guilty, as Laura’s last words replayed in her head. She shimmied out of them and reached out and grabbed Laura’s ass. “Touch me.”

Laura did not hold back. Her fingers went through the other girl’s folds in a heartbeat. “I missed how wet you got for me.” It was said passionately, if that was even possible while fucking a girl. 

Those fingers started working on her clit, in slow circles firstly, and then with a more bold approach, smudging her whole pussy with her own arousal. 

Carmilla, whose hand was still on the blonde’s ass, squeezed it harder, hinting she was really close. “I’m goi - Laura don’t stop after i come.” Carmilla blurted out panting wildly. 

Laura felt Carmilla trembling, but did as she was told, and didn’t stop. She kept those fingers there and continued her ministrations, just more slowly, letting the other girl ride off her orgasm, but still giving her more to come. 

“Do you want me to stop?” Laura asked, knowing how sensitive that bundle of nerves could get.

“No..i want you to make me come again.” 

In a matter of seconds, Carmilla let out a loud “fuck!”, not expecting her second orgasm to wash over her so quickly. 

“You really like my hand, uh?” Laura inquired kissing her cheek. 

“Yeah and i really need that water.” She untangled from Laura’s hug and drank the whole glass. When she made her way back to her, she kissed her making the other girl moan, “you’re so considerate of me.” 

She pulled back and laid on the bed, waiting for the blonde to join her. Those last words made Laura think of how considerate Carmilla was with her too. She thought of the first times they hang out and how gentle she was. How she didn’t want to fuck, because Laura was drunk. Maybe they could really work together. She just wished Carmilla was of the same thought. 

Laura crawled on top of her, kissing her jaw and neck. Then going down on her stomach. She looked up, “i’m pretty sure i said i wanted to eat you..can i still do that?” 

“I remember it very clearly.” Carmilla smirked shyly, again. God, this woman. 

“Can this -”, Laura gave a little peck on Carmilla’s mound, “- take much more of it?”

“Laura..kiss me first.” Carmilla tugged at Laura’s arm. She cupped her face and pressed their lips together. Laura’s mind went blank, they both were a horny mess, but words like these, hit her deeply. It was sex, but it was more passionate than she expected it to be. And the more passionate one, was Carmilla, who had told her to stop their fuck-buddies relationship. Laura just went in tonight, thinking the other girl wanted just a good fuck, but it appeared to be more than that. 

After a while Carmilla pulled back and said, “now you can eat me”, and lightly pushed Laura down. 

Laura licked her clit, which was still sore and red, from the previous orgasms. She knew she had to work harder this time to make her come. She lapped her whole pussy, gathering all of the wetness on her tongue and tasted her. Carmilla moaned and positioned both her legs on the blonde’s shoulders. Laura’s hands rested on her hips keeping her still, sometimes going up and brushing on her stomach. 

She then took her clit in her mouth, making Carmilla gasp. “Oh shit, fuck me.” 

“No.” Laura simply said. 

Carmilla frowned and didn’t understand. Laura sensed her confusion. “I’m going to do better than that.” 

That didn’t clear Carmilla’s perplexity. What could be better than fingers inside of her? She thought. 

Her mind was taken out of these thoughts, when she felt a finger teasing at her entrance. “Just relax”, Laura said before taking her clit in her mouth again. She traced the length of her entrance with her index finger, until it rested at the end of her slit. 

Still confused, Carmilla asked, “what are you doing, cupcake?”

Laura’s finger started pushing lightly right there, eliciting a loud gasp from the other girl. 

Carmilla felt a new kind of pleasure shot through her whole body and her own question from moments before, seemed now stupid. Laura stopped sucking on her clit and was now licking it wildly. She kept pressing her finger there, never slipping it inside of her. 

She heard Carmilla moan and saw her gripping hard on the sheets. “I’ve touched myself like this and i imagined you were doing this to me”, Laura said. 

Laura felt more wetness dripping from Carmilla’s core and guessed her own words had some effects on the other girl. 

“You can’t..say..stuff like that..” Carmilla was out of breath. 

“Why not?” Laura asked.

She felt her own walls clenching around nothing, but the feeling of Laura’s finger pressing in that new spot and her tongue devouring her, were entirely enough. 

Still short of breath, she muttered, “because you’re going to make me come in a heartbeat.” 

Laura licked her fingers and lips. She crawled up and rested near the other girl, letting her catch her breath. “So..you like thinking about me fantasizing about you, uh?” 

“Yes, you have no idea how many times i’ve done that.” 

Laura raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Then why don’t you show me?”

“Give me a minute and i’ll repay you gladly.”

* * *

It was 2:15am. 

After Carmilla had made Laura come under her, she said, “I think this is the best night we’ve had so far.”

“So far?” Laura didn’t mean to say that out loud. This meant Carmilla still wanted to see her, right?

Carmilla blushed. Laura was starting to understand Carmilla more. She appeared to be so in control of everything and so reluctant to express something a bit too emotional or to engage in anything more serious, but apparently she wasn’t. 

“Let’s say i’d still like to see you again.” Carmilla felt extremely guilty, when just a week before she didn’t want Laura around. She pushed the sheets over her, trying to cover up the remorse of having pushed the blonde away.

Laura couldn’t utter a word, she was pleasantly surprised. Carmilla, who was facing the ceiling and couldn’t quite see Laura’s face, tried to add something more, “I know i fucked up a week ago..and i’m really sorry, i shouldn’t have told any of that.”

Laura cut her off, cupping her cheek with her left hand. “Hey. It’s okay..maybe this week helped us a bit, i mean, it certainly helped me understand some things.” 

“Some things?”

It was now or never, Laura thought. Well, not really, but she figured it was the right moment. “I - i like you, Carmilla. I don’t want this to be just about sex, i mean, i really care for you.”

Carmilla rolled on her side and kissed her deeply. She just had to kiss her. 

When she opened her eyes, she looked at the alarm clock and saw the hour. “Shit, it’s fucking late, i need to go..my mother is going to pick me up at 6, we’re going to visit my grandmother and i forgot.” She quickly got up and got dressed. 

“I’m sorry Laura, i lost track of time..”

Laura was a bit disappointed that Carmilla didn’t even address what she had just confessed her. “It’s okay, don’t worry.” 

The older girl gathered all of her stuff and from the bedroom door, she smiled at the blonde, “I just want you to know that this has never been a friends with benefit thing for me. Never.”

With that she left, leaving a grinning Laura staring at the ceiling, dreaming of a future for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	10. Same page?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Will meet up. And Carmilla and Laura agree on something.

They were technically on the same page. Neither of them considered what they had a friends with benefits thing. So, on the same page. Technically. They haven’t talked about it properly yet. 

After that Friday, neither of them contacted the other. Maybe it was a nice idea to let the thoughts rest. It was Sunday and Laura was supposed to meet Will. They had agreed on that coffee. She was really looking forward to it, maybe she could talk to him about what was happening and he could be of help.

“I know i’m late, sorry Will..let me offer whatever you’re having.” Laura arrived at the cafe. 

“Don’t be stupid, you’re just 10 minute late. Although, my sister would have made you buy all of the croissants.” He smugly said, placing a book he was reading on the little table. 

“Your sister doesn’t like latecomers?” 

“Not really.”

Not a good start. This sent a shiver of panic through her. Laura was 80% of the time late. Not because she forgot she had somewhere to be, but simply because she was too engrossed in what she was doing that she often would lose track of time. Carmilla probably wouldn’t like that. 

“Oh..”, was all she managed to say. 

The bartender interrupted them and they both ordered. 

“Soooo..do we want to talk about that? Since we’re already on the subject..” He raised an eyebrow. Damn, they really were brother and sister.

Laura spaced out a bit after having ordered a coffee, and she asked confused, “about what?”

“You and my sister fucking.” He was blunt. 

Laura blushed furiously. She thought back to Friday and hoped he didn’t saw what she was doing with her hands all over Carmilla’s thigh. “How do you know?”

“Well you told me you stopped seeing for a week..but then the other day you two went home together. Am i wrong?”

She relaxed a bit. “Yes..no no, you’re not wrong. We did go home together. But..”

“You fucked, right?”

“I’m not sure you want to hear me talking about your sister’s sexual life. But, yes.” Her cheeks were a bit pink. 

“Oh don’t worry..she’s the prude one on this.”

This surprised Laura. She didn’t think Carmilla would have any problem in talking about what she did in bed. 

“Well yeah, she was actually really sweet..” She remembered every touch. 

“My sister? Sweet?” He inquired chuckling a bit.

“Yeah..is that weird?”

“She usually is not..she is with me sometimes, but definitely not with girls she sleeps with. You must be different.”

Laura blushed. “Well actually something happened the other night..can you please not talk about this with anyone?”

“I swear.”

“I told her i like her..and i don’t know if you know this, but we had agreed to be friends with benefits, and she told me it was never like that for her.” Laura remembered how she felt that night after those words. 

Will was playing with the spoon and smiling mischievously. “Well, you made an impression on my sister, Laura.” 

She giggled. She almost couldn’t believe it. “Ah, i don’t know..we haven’t really talked about it.”

“I’m sure you will. I must warn you tho, she can be a bit difficult..she likes solitude and being alone, so don’t freak out if you feel like she’s shutting you out. She’s not. She just needs alone time, sometimes.”

“I figured she was like that, but i don’t mind it, really..well, what are you up to these days?” Laura asked changing the subject.

“Oh i went on a date, but she was not my type, uf..”, he paused for a moment, “ah, i wanted to ask you something. Are you free tomorrow evening? We were thinking of going to the Sandstorm, there’s a happy hour.” 

“I have three articles to write before Wednesday, i really can’t..i’ll have to write like mad. But maybe we can do a dinner in the weekend.” She really wanted to go, but she absolutely had to finish all of the work she had. 

“Totally! I’ll tell the others..do you want to go for a walk? There’s a nice sun out.” 

“Yes please!” 

Laura payed and he thanked her giving her a hug. Thing that surprised her. Will was extremely sweet and a good listener. 

They strolled around a couple of blocks and he walked her home, “My sister will miss you tomorrow, but i’m sure she’ll find some company.” There was a playful smirk on his face.

Laura smacked him on the shoulder. “Ah ah, shut up.” 

“Well, i’ll see you Friday or Saturday, we’ll be in touch.” He hugged her and she gladly hugged him back. 

“Bye Will, thanks for today.” 

* * *

Laura got out of the shower and went to the kitchen to drink a glass of juice. 

She checked her phone too see if she had any emails or messages. There was just one.

Carmilla(1:34pm): are you coming tonight? 

Shit, she wrote two hours ago. I didn’t even hear that, Laura thought. 

Laura(3:40pm): hey..i can’t, i’m full of work ;( 

Laura resumed her writing and kept checking her phone. Well, she just said she couldn’t go, what else would Carmilla reply to that? She smacked herself mentally. She should have added something to keep the conversation going. 

After a while her phone buzzed and startled Laura.

Carmilla(4:47pm): ;( 

Laura(4:50pm): Will said you will easily find some company ahah

Carmilla(4:55pm): as if i would look for someone else 

Woah. Laura opened her eyes wide, trying to read better what she just received. Was she reading correctly? 

Laura(4:59pm): you’re being extremely sweet 

Carmilla(5:05pm): is that a problem?

Laura couldn’t sense Carmilla’s tone. 

Laura(5:08pm): no..god, i just finished my first article, two to go

Carmilla stopped answering. Laura was wondering if she misread her tone and offended her in some way. She kept watching at her phone hoping it would buzz, but nothing came. Well, Carmilla was out now, she’d be having fun with the others. 

Laura cooked and ate a pretty average meal. Some soup and potatoes with a salad. She then settled onto the couch and was re-editing her article, when her phone buzzed. 

Carmilla(9:05pm): having a nice night? :P

Laura smiled. Nothing’s wrong, then. 

Laura(9:08pm): don’t make fun of me :P my eyes are hurting and i wish i’d be there 

Carmilla(9:15pm): do you wish i’d be there?

What’s wrong with my eyes today? Laura thought. Also, her mind was full of words and she thought she wasn’t grasping this message correctly. 

Laura(9:20pm): ahah don’t worry about me, have fun with Will and the others 

Carmilla(9:30pm): put that laptop away..you’re having some company in a bit

Laura(9:35pm): no no, guys don’t come here, don’t ruin your night for me!

Laura got up and went to make some hot chocolate. The bell rang. Shit, they really came here.

She opened the door, “guys i told you that..”, she abruptly stopped when she saw just Carmilla. “You’re here..”

“I am here..is it ok?” Carmilla put her hands in her jeans pockets.

“Yeah, i thought you were all coming here..come in.” She gestured to her to walk in.

“Are you disappointed that i’m the only one who came?”

“No..” Laura blushed a bit.

“When i said you were going to have some company i meant just me..i hope it’s fine i showed up.”

Carmilla sat on the couch.

“It is. Do you want some hot chocolate?” Laura asked a bit nervously.

“Yes, cutie”, Carmilla crossed her legs smirking. 

Laura came back with two mugs and placed them onto the table in front of the couch. She sat down near Carmilla and felt anxious all of a sudden. 

“So, how was the night?” Laura asked. 

“It was ok..nothing particularly eventful happened. How was yours?”

Laura pointed towards her laptop still open on the table, “i wrote two articles, i just started the last one tonight..i’m super tired.”

Carmilla leaned forward and closed the laptop’s lid, “i guess we can call it a day then, right?”

“We can watch a movie or...do something else, even tho i probably don’t have much energy for that.” Laura said.

“I’m not here for that.” Carmilla surprised her with a kiss on her cheek. She then stood up and went near a shelf full of DVDs. She looked through those for a minute and then put a disc in the DVD player. She made her way back to the couch and plopped down, this time really close to Laura.

“What did you choose?” Laura questioned curiously.

“Just be patient..do you have a blanket?”

“There’s one on my bed.” Laura immediately missed the other girl’s warmth as soon as Carmilla stood up and went to grab it.

She came back and sat down just when the Harry Potter logo appeared onto the screen. Laura audibly gasped, “do you know this is my favourite saga?” Laura was beaming. 

“Of course i knew.” Carmilla smugly said. She draped the blanket over the both of them. 

“But..do you like it? Or you’re just doing it for me?” 

“I like it, cupcake..i’m pretty sure i haven’t seen it as many times as you, but i certainly need a refresher.”

Laura was sat cross-legged and Carmilla just had her legs propped up onto the table in front of the couch. Laura moved to stretch her legs a bit and accidentally brushed against Carmilla’s arm with her hand. That sent her mind into overdrive and reminded her how much she missed that contact. How much she missed those hands on her.

From under the blanket, she moved her hand searching for Carmilla’s hand. She brushed lightly her fingers along the back of the other girl’s left hand, which turned and let their fingers interlock. All of a sudden, for a long moment, the movie felt like it was played underwater. The words and the sounds were slurred and padded.

“I used to watch these with my mother and once we were finished watching one, we pretended to be in that world for the rest of the day.” Laura squeezed Carmilla’s hand.

“Childhood really is a good time..would you play a character from the movie or your own version into that world?” Carmilla was curious.

“Both. Sometimes it was me..other times i would choose to play as Hermione.”

“I figured you were her.” Carmilla smirked and brought their interlocked hand further into her lap, causing Laura to lean closer to her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Laura glared at her.

“Nothing.” She kept smirking and playing along.

Laura pushed her, causing the other girl to land on her back onto the couch, with Laura pressed on her. Their faces really close. “Your eyes didn’t say ‘nothing’.”

“Well, then you read them wrong.” 

Laura had enough of playful Carmilla, so she started tickling her. But the dark haired girl didn’t move. “You’re not ticklish?”

“Nope.” 

Laura gave up. “I have to found out a weakness of yours, so next time you make fun of me, i’ll have my revenge.”

“Do you want to know my weakness?”

“Um, yeah..but i know you’re not going to actually tell me.” Laura glared at her again.

“Kiss me.” 

“What?” All of a sudden that blanket needed to flee out of the window. 

“Kiss me. That’s my weakness.” Carmilla’s smirk was gone and her expression was completely serious. 

Laura looked at her for a moment and she felt her lips starting to curve up into a smile. She leaned forward and captured the other girl’s lips in a sweet kiss. The blanket was definitely gone now.

She pulled back after a bit, “we’re missing the movie and you need to re-educate yourself.” 

“Ugh, fine..but i want to stay close to you.”

Laura sat up and let Carmilla rest her head on a pillow on her legs. 

After the movie ended, Carmilla looked up and saw Laura sleeping or what looked like sleeping. She reached for the remote and turned the tv off. While moving, Laura muttered, “no, don’t go just yet.” 

“But, you’re tired..maybe you should sleep.” Carmilla was still looking up at that beautiful sleepy face. 

“Let’s just stay here a bit more, please?” 

Carmilla moved to get up and Laura whined. “I just need my phone, cupcake.”

Shit, it’s dead, she thought to herself, as soon as she picked it up from her jacket.

She went back to the couch and asked, “Laura, can i use your phone, mine’s dead?”

“Sure.” Laura leaned back onto the couch, resting her head on a pillow. Carmilla followed her and Laura was a bit confused. “Didn’t you have to use the phone?”

Carmilla nestled against her torso, hugging her with one arm. “Yes, i’m using it.” With her free hand she opened YouTube and let  _ The Apartment song _ by  _ Do Make Say Think  _ play. She put the phone down and nestled even closer. 

“Oh.” Laura was struck by the sweetness of the moment. She moved one hand and played with a lock of Carmilla’s dark hair. “Was this the song we heard at the concert and said it was your favorite?” 

Carmilla smiled against her torso. So, she remembers, she thought. “Yes.”

“You really like it, eh?” Laura asked a bit playfully.

Carmilla was serious, though. “I do. It reminds me of you.”

“I need to cut out from my diet cookies, now that i have you..with all of this sweetness.” Laura smirked and felt a light slap on her ass. 

“Well..it’s definitely healthier, so start getting used to it.” Carmilla said.

After a couple of minutes of comfortable silence, the song started replaying. Carmilla brought up one hand and started stroking lightly on Laura’s cheek. 

“Uh..i can already feel a pimple coming right here.” Carmilla obviously joked. 

Laura immediately brought her own hand up and started feeling her cheek to check if she really had one. “Bitch”, she muttered when she found nothing of the sort. Carmilla laughed and said, “can i tell you something?”

“As long as you stop playing with me, yes.” 

“This feels like a date to me, Laura.” Carmilla whispered. 

Laura smiled wide even though the other girl couldn’t see that. “I really need you to kiss me now Carmilla.” Her tone was deadly serious. 

Carmilla didn’t need to hear that twice and she brought her lips up and kissed her deeply. She pulled back, “but..”, she was cut off by Laura, who said, “this is a date for me too,  _ cutie”,  _ emphasizing that last nickname, as to mock the other girl. 

They both kissed each other again, but couldn’t quite manage to do it, as they were both grinning too much. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	11. Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura go shopping. And a dinner happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm IMMENSELY sorry for being so late with an update. 
> 
> I've been having problems with my Internet connection, plus Coronavirus happened. Here (Italy) the situation is a mess, and i haven't been really in the mood to write, so i'm sorry if this isn't up to your expectations. 
> 
> Stay home and stay safe, people.

The next days were not so different from what they had before admitting that that night was a date. They kept seeing each other, alone, with friends, and still never stayed over and slept the whole night together.

Laura was still not so sure about Carmilla’s feelings. Sure, she showed how much she cared but never reciprocated the ‘ _ i like you _ ’ Laura had told her. But she didn’t want to pressure the other girl, she’ll say it when she’ll feel like it.

It was a pretty sunny Saturday morning, Laura had just finished breakfast and was in the mood for an episode or two of a new tv series. She checked her phone to see what time it was, 9.15am, and found a message.

Carmilla(8:40am): want to come with me somewhere later?

Laura(9:16am): where?

Carmilla(9:18am): somewhere. actually, i’m free right now, if you want to 

Laura thought the new tv series could definitely wait.

Laura(9:21am): so mysterious. I am, let me wash some mugs and get dressed and i’m all yours 

Carmilla(9:23am): uuuh..i’ll be at your place in 5 mins

Laura(9:24am): WHAT! i told you i need to get dressed

Carmilla(9:26am): so? i can watch

Laura(9:27am): what’s there to watch in someone who needs to get dressed? it’s not like we’re going to fuck 

Carmilla(9:29am): you’re wasting time, cupcake. i’m almost there ;)

Laura got even more nervous after that. She didn’t know why she was being like this. Carmilla had already seen her get dressed, but it was always after they had sex, maybe that was the difference. Right now, there was no sexual act involved, it was just a Laura getting dressed in the morning.

She had just finished washing the mugs, when the bell rang. Great she’s already here, Laura thought. 

“Good morning! What’s with that face? You’re not happy to see me?”, the dark-haired girl greeted her. 

“You’re unbelievable. Good morning to you too. Let me put those mugs in their cabinet and i’ll get dressed.” Laura closed the door and went back into the kitchen. 

“I’ll wait for you.” Carmilla followed her, but the other girl didn’t notice that.

Carmilla snuck up behind her and placed her chin on Laura’s shoulder keeping her own hands tangled behind her back. “Are you done?” 

Laura blushed and couldn’t quite utter a word, she just managed to say, “almost”. 

“Ok, go change this pajamas, i’ll wait on the couch.” She placed a sweet kiss on her cheek and noticed how worked up Laura was. She placed another one and went in the living room. 

Laura was blushing again and felt some kind of relief when the other girl left her alone. Firstly, because this way she couldn’t see how red she was in the face and secondly, because she realized Carmilla was putting her at ease. She must have noticed her nervousness and was being considerate again with her. 

Laura really liked this girl. More and more every day.

“I’m all yours, ready to go.” Laura came back into the living room, finding Carmilla engrossed in some book she had found on a shelf. 

Carmilla brought her focused eyes up and looked at her. She closed the book and placed it back on the shelf. She approached her and kissed her, this time on the lips, “then i’m ready too.”

This feels so domestic and good, Laura thought. 

Laura still didn’t know where they were going, so while they were walking she asked again, “can you tell me now where are we headed?”

“I need to buy something new for my place. Look, we’re here.” Carmilla simply said.

Laura didn’t have the time to ask further questions that she was dragged inside.

“Is it another shelf for all of those books you have?” Laura asked.

“Nope. This.” She gestured in front of her. 

Laura looked in that direction and saw an entire room filled with various couches and armchairs. “Ohh, you want a new couch.”

“Nice intuition, cutie.” 

Laura didn’t reply to that and just slapped the other girl’s arm lightly. She had a question floating in her mind right now. And as always, she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. “Why did you need me to choose a new couch?”

Carmilla leaned closer and brought her mouth near the blonde’s ear, “‘cause we’re going to try it out later.” Laura’s face reddened a bit, she was pretty sure it was an innuendo. 

That wasn’t the main reason for Carmilla to bring her here with her, though. She eyed a couch that looked pretty comfortable, took a couple of steps forward, she then turned back slightly to look at her and said, “and because i want you around”, and went off. 

Laura couldn’t contain the grin that spread on her face. She followed Carmilla and when she was just a couple of meters away, an employee asked, “can i help you?”

“Um, yes actually, thank you..we were looking for a couch, one of those that are L-shaped, no leather.” Carmilla replied kindly.

WE?

Laura was looking at Carmilla trying to catch her eyes, but she was listening closely to what the employee was saying. Did she really mean to say “we” or did it just slip?

They moved to another section where many L-shaped couches were scattered around. The employee was still talking and explaining stuff and prices. Laura felt a hand searching for hers and they interlocked their fingers. Carmilla was still focused on what was being said and Laura found this even more endearing. Knowing Carmilla looked for her hand, made her feel all tingly. 

“You can try them out, i’ll leave you to it, i’ll be around if you need me.” With that, the worker went off. 

“What do you think about this?” Carmilla dragged Laura towards one gray couch, with their hands still glued together. 

“Carmilla...we?”

“What?”

“You said ‘we’ before..i know it sounds stupid but i don’t know, it made me think.” Laura lowered her head.

Carmilla lightly pulled their hands, “it’s not stupid, Laura. I said it and i meant it. What did it make you think?”

“I don’t know..initially i thought you were just fooling around again, but you’re being quite serious now, and i like it, really..but i just, i can’t shake the feeling that this feels like a dream and i’m going to wake up.”

“Hey, i never fooled around with you and you know that. I told you i want you around, ok? I really want you, so please, believe me.” She gave her a kiss on the cheek and sat down on the couch. 

“You have to try it out too, you know? I need your opinion too.” Carmilla said to Laura, who was still standing there like a lamppost. 

After a while, Carmilla decided to buy that gray couch.

“They’re going to deliver it in two days, want to come over then?” Carmilla winked at her, stopping right in front of Laura’s house.

“Stop being gross.” Laura joked. 

“Ok, i’ll try it out on my own then.”

“That’s gross too. But yes, i want to come over.” 

Carmilla smirked. “Now, who’s being gross?” 

“You really need to release some stress...but i can’t help you with that, i need to work this weekend, you’ll have to rely on your fingers.” 

Carmilla put her hands on the other girl’s waist, pulled her closer and whispered, “I can wait two days.”

Laura blushed. This girl needs to stop being so cute. If  _ cute _ could even be considered a suitable adjective for all of this. She just kissed her, deeply. She wanted to go home and curl up together, but she had a lot of work to do. 

“I’ll see you in two days, then!” Laura smiled at her. 

“Can’t wait, cutie.” 

* * *

Carmilla(5:18pm): Hey! Couch is here, you’re the only one missing

Laura read the message smiling.

Laura(5:25pm): <3 when do you want me there?

Carmilla(5:28pm): whenever you’re ready

Laura(5:30pm): i’ll finish something and take a shower. I’ll be there at around 7. Can’t wait!

Carmilla(5:33pm): I can’t wait either 

The cinnamon buns were in the oven, they were almost ready. Laura had decided to do something sweet and bake the one thing Carmilla had said smelled like her. 

After a shower, she wrapped the sweets in a bag and was ready to leave. 

When Carmilla opened the door she literally launched herself in the blonde’s arms without saying a word. 

“Hey.” Laura said in a sweet voice. 

“Hey”, Carmilla said back giving her a peck on the lips. She let her in and closed the door. 

“I brought you something. I hope they turned out okay, it was my first time making them.” Laura showed her the bag and let her see what it was.

Carmilla just looked at her intensely for a moment, “you really are making it hard to not fall for you.” 

“I could say the same for you.” 

Carmilla genuinely smiled, “place them there on the table, will you? Dinner is almost ready.” She disappeared into the kitchen.

Laura followed her, and looked at the pots. “You’re making me dinner?” 

“It looks like it, cupcake.” 

Laura didn’t say anything to that. This really felt like a dream.

“This is another date, you know?” Carmilla said and turned to look at her.

“Oh i know. Tell me where the tablecloth is, that i’ll set the table.” Laura gave her a quick kiss, before following the instructions Carmilla gave her.

“I like this risotto, you are really good at cooking.” Laura said finishing her plate.

“Oh, i’m full of mysteries, as you’ve noticed.”

“But i want to kind of taste my cinnamon buns..can we eat them now?” Laura asked all excited.

Carmilla chuckled, “wow, you bring people sweets and you want to eat them? That’s so you.”

“What does that mean?” Laura laughed. 

“Nothing, just that that’s something i like about you.” Carmilla smirked, but then continued, “go sit on the couch, i’ll clear the table and bring one for you.”

Laura did as she was told. She couldn't wait for them to be close to each other. She wanted to feel Carmilla’s lips all over her. She quickly checked her phone. She replied to a couple of messages and put it away. 

Carmilla came back just as Laura was putting down her phone. She involuntarily sighed.

“Your friends are being nosy?” Carmilla asked.

“Yes, kind of.” She lied. She didn’t know why she just did that. She took the plate Carmilla handed her and they both ate the long-awaited cinnamon buns. 

“You have some powdered sugar on your upper lip”, Carmilla commented smirking. 

Laura made no movement to remove it, she pouted, “you didn’t even say if you are enjoying them.”

“I am. But i’d rather enjoy this.” She leaned closer and ran her tongue on Laura’s lip, wiping away the white powder. 

She was taken by surprise by this, but Laura didn’t hold back and captured the other girl’s lips, taking Carmilla by surprise this time. The kiss was obviously sweet but also sweet in the other sense. Carmilla was sweet, no matter how much she tried to hide that or not show it much, she was. And Laura loved it, just like that. She didn’t want the older girl to change one bit. 

The kiss started innocently, but when Carmilla cupped Laura’s cheek and let her immerse into it, the atmosphere shifted. 

They both wanted to touch each other. They still didn’t label what they were exactly, but they both knew they were going somewhere and that somewhere was something important. 

Carmilla straddled Laura and kissed her hard. The blonde whined and Carmilla couldn’t wait no more. She detached for a moment and looked at her, “i like you, you know? I really do.”

Laura wasn’t expecting this right now. She smiled deeply and looked at her with loving eyes. She had been waiting, though, for the other girl to admit that. She was pleasantly surprised and tried to cover up her excitement, “yeah i totally knew that”, with a high-pitched voice that she did not intend to use. 

“So you’re saying there was no need for me to say it to you, uh?” Carmilla was sarcastic. 

“Well..”, Laura started, but was cut off, “oh fine then, i can go read a book or do something else”, still being sarcastic.

“Don’t you dare move from here. You can do something else with that tongue, though, instead of talking.” Laura traced a pattern with her finger on Carmilla’s thigh.

“Wasn’t my confession enough to make you feel all hot and bothered?” Carmilla raised her eyebrows expectantly. 

“You can find out for yourself.” Laura placed a kiss on her neck.

Carmilla lifted a bit, allowing the other girl to spread a bit more her legs. “Feel”, Laura said looking her in the eyes. Carmilla brought her hand down, slowly descended from her breasts to her lower belly and unbuttoned the jeans. 

Her fingers lightly dipped inside Laura’s underwear, causing her to gasp unexpectedly. Carmilla went down slowly, until she could feel the result of what she had said before. She was indeed wet. “Is this me?” Carmilla asked.

“Yeah, always you..”, Laura moaned as Carmilla’s fingers started moving in circles. The sensation wasn’t new, but every time Carmilla touched her, it felt like a first time. “..don’t stop.”

“Didn’t you want my tongue?” 

“Later..i want your fingers now.” She panted. 

Carmilla moved and undressed Laura, letting her angle her hand better. She cupped her pussy again, and planted kisses on her neck. “I want your fingers too later.” 

“You can have whatever you want.” Laura replied opening her legs wider.

These last words sent Carmilla into overdrive. She couldn’t quite control her hand movements anymore, as her mind started to think of whatever dirty thing she could do with her...girlfriend? With Laura, they couldn’t possibly have this conversation now. 

She pushed those thoughts away for the moment, and dipped one finger inside, pumping it slowly. Letting her pussy adjust to the flesh inside of her. 

“Do you want more?” Carmilla asked.

Her walls unexpectedly clenched around Carmilla’s finger. Of course the other girl must have felt that. Laura found the fact that Carmilla was asking that endearing and hot at the same time. “Yes...please.”

Another finger was pushed inside and the movement picked up speed. Laura moaned loudly, as those fingers were pressing right there, where that pressure was bringing her over the edge. And that happened. 

“You’re so cute when you come, Laura.” She kept her fingers inside and just after a bit, she slowly removed them. 

Laura kissed her and then remembered something. “Oh shit, we’re on your new couch.” 

“Don’t worry, it’s still intact, but you’ve made quite a mess anyway down there, so go wash yourself.” Carmilla winked and went to the kitchen. 

Laura blushed but at the same time she loved the easiness with how they could communicate such things. Her previous girlfriends would have never said such a thing, they were too prude for that. And this was what Laura was looking for, easiness and understanding.

They settled on the couch and talked after that. Laura was making fun of how many books Carmilla had scattered around her place, even on the floor. But that was just another trait she loved about her. 

The bell ringing startled them. Carmilla looked at her confused. She wasn’t expecting anyone; yet, Laura might have had an idea of who it could be.

Carmilla opened the door and looked shocked, angry and confused at the same time. What was her father doing here? She had told him she needed time. No words left her mouth. Benjamin was the first to speak.

“Hi, Carmilla. I’m really sorry i came unannounced, but i need to give you something.” He handed her a yellow envelope. 

Laura came into view and her father greeted her too, “Hello, Laura.”

Carmilla frowned heavily and looked between them. “”Hello Laura?!” What? What is this?” She looked at Laura, the soft eyes that were painted on the dark-haired girl’s face just moments ago, were now gone. 

Carmilla’s father replied instantly, “oh, we met once, we were both waiting for you outside your place. Also, i wanted to tell you i saw your mother, we were thinking of going to dinner, everyone together. If you want to come, i’d love that.”

“Why are you here, again? Couldn’t you say that to Will, who would have told me?” Carmilla was growing angrier.

“I had to give you that.” He gestured towards the envelope, which Carmilla was gripping tightly. Knuckles almost white.

“Yeah, but why now? How did you know i was home?” 

“I asked your friend.” He brought his hand up and indicated Laura.

Laura cringed at that, she was feeling this was not going in the right direction, or in the direction she would have hoped for Carmilla and her father. 

Carmilla closed her eyes. “Ok, you need to go. I don’t want to deal with you right now”, she looked at her father hoping he would leave immediately. To her surprise he did, only saying, “just open the envelope, please. Bye”, and left. 

She closed the door. 

“You made him come here?” Her voice was calm. 

“I didn’t  _ make _ him come here, he voluntarily came, Carmilla. I just helped him.” Laura knew she shouldn’t be defensive right now, she wasn’t really in the position to act defensive.

“Helped him? How?”

“He had asked Will for my number and had asked me help with this. He really wants to reconnect with you and your brother. He seems a good man..” Carmilla cut her off abruptly. “A good man?!”, she bitterly chuckled, “you don’t even know him! Hell I don’t even know him!”

Carmilla’s voice was louder now, Laura took some steps backwards. The older girl noticed that, closed her eyes for a moment, and said calmly, “so, you told him I was going to be home tonight?” 

“Yes..” Laura was trying to read her expression but couldn’t quite place it.

“Why? You wanted to be the good Samaritan so then everyone would have clapped for your good deed?! You knew it isn’t an easy subject for me, you knew what he said about me and how i felt..” She waved the envelope in the air. “What the fuck is this?”

“You don’t even want to open that?” Laura tentatively asked.

Carmilla opened it quickly, anger still growing inside. There was a small piece of paper, she read it. Another small envelope which held inside a plane ticket. The piece of paper was written by Benjamin; it basically said, that it was a plane ticket to Portland, to go see her grandmother, who lived there. Carmilla, despite not living a life with a father, she had lived with a lovely grandma (Benjamin’s mother). They were really close until she had to move to Oregon, when Carmilla was 19 years old, because her grandmother’s sister was ill and needed a lot of care. 

Carmilla always wondered how her grandmother was. She hadn’t heard from her in a while and she surely missed her. She also noticed that the date on the plane ticket was the day before her grandmother’s birthday. So her father must have thought that through. Her heart swell and she hated that. 

“Are you ok?” Laura asked, seeing the other girl trying to hold back tears.

“No, I am not! How could you possibly think i’m ok?!” She shouted. 

Laura didn’t answer back. She was right, that was a dumb question. Carmilla continued, “you ruined this”, she gestured between the two of them, “you ruined this night. I didn’t want anything to do with my father and all of that, and you brought everything back.”

“Carmilla, i know it probably wasn’t my place to interfere, but i really thought i was helping you.” 

“You were already helping me, Laura, without doing anything..you didn’t realize that, apparently. Carmilla’s lips curved up in a sad smile. “I thought i had found someone who truly understood me, but i guess i was wrong.”

“What are you saying?” Laura’s lip quivered. She knew she had fucked up.

“Shit, Laura..i was going to ask you to be my girlfriend by the end of the night. I’m so stupid..and now i want you out of here.” Carmilla let the ticket and the piece of paper fall from her hand, defeated, and walked past Laura. 

Laura couldn’t utter a word. She just wanted to go back in time and not stick her nose in all of this. 

“Carm..you know i care about you, i’m sorry..i can’t even find the words to say how sorry i am.” She hadn’t realized she was crying. She wiped her own cheeks, “in retrospect i didn’t realize how much this affected you and i’ve been a selfish bitch about it. I should have listened to you..” 

“Yeah you should have..you could have been my rock, but now i’ll always connect you to this and it was the last thing i wanted.” She paused for a moment, “please leave now.”

Laura’s mouth fell open. “Wait, is this over?”

“Yes.”

“Carmilla, i don’t want -”

“Just fucking leave!” Carmilla shouted slamming both her hands onto the kitchen counter. 

Laura collected her things and left crying. 

When Carmilla heard the door being closed, she uncontrollably burst into tears. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OUCH.
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	12. Say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath and Kirsch's birthday party.

Carmilla wasn’t normally someone who easily cried, but the circumstances proved it wrong. She cried when Laura left, or better, when she pushed her away, and when she looked at the ticket plane the next day. And again, she cried a week later, when she realized that Laura was what she was looking for and she missed her. 

Missing Laura was awful, but she decided not to focus on that. Laura had tried to contact her, but she always refused to answer back her texts.

It was better this way. No more involvement was going to heal her, maybe not straight away, but it was going to happen.

She tried to focus her attention on work and on the trip to Portland. She had decided to accept the gift and go see her grandmother. She was doing good, despite her age. Carmilla had told her about her love life: her grandmother was always curious to know, never judged her and always gave her a good piece of advice. She was easy to talk to.

When she told her about Laura and their fall out, she said “ _ I like this girl _ ”, to which Carmilla had asked why. Her grandmother’s words were printed in her mind, “ _ it’s true she should have listened to you, but i like how she’s trying to give you happiness in every way she can _ ”.

And it was true. Laura was happiness. 

Laura on the other hand, wasn’t focused on work, at all. She had spent the first week after that argument isolating herself. Just going to work, barely succeeding in doing something productive and going back home. Alone. 

She had declined every one of her friends’ offers to go out or catch up. 

She knew she was being a shitty friend and apparently she was shitty even in romantic relationships. 

The idea of going to Carmilla’s place or to the park nearby hoping to see her  _ by chance _ , didn’t bring her any good. Firstly, she saw her twice (on a total of 5 times), but didn’t muster up the courage to go talk to her and just managed to look at her from a distance. Secondly, seeing her or just the idea of potentially seeing her, made her miss her even more. 

And that was exactly what she should have been avoiding. 

One month later and the isolation kind of kept going for Laura. She had gone out just for coffee a couple of times. The routine looked like it was going to be finally broken when Kirsch called her and asked her if she was going to be present at his birthday. She immediately said yes, she missed him and knew he truly wanted her to be there. 

What she realized, as soon as she hung up, was that probably Carmilla would be present too. 

Fuck. Was she ready to see her? 

* * *

Kirsch(10:22am): “Everyone, remember that if you want to stay the night, you have to bring an air bed or whatever you want to sleep on! I just have a double bed available!” 

LaFontaine(10:26am): I’ll take the double bed! That’s mine!

Kirsch(10:29am): fine by me, sort it out between you guys 

Danny(10:31am): a double bed is for two LaF, you know that, right?

Laura(10:34am): i have an air bed, i’m ok on that ;)

LaFontaine(10:35am): i perfectly know that u.u

Carmilla(10:36am): we all know who’s going to sleep on the other side of the double bed *wink*

Laura smiled reading that. The playful Carmilla was still there and she missed that. She tremendously missed the playfulness Carmilla used and addressed to her. 

Perry(10:39am): I’m just not comfortable on those air beds. My back would suffer. 

Carmilla(10:41am): yeaaah, your back…

Kirsch(10:42am): LOL

Danny(10:43am): we’ll see which new girl you’ll be sleeping with then, Carmilla ahah

Carmilla(10:45am): i actually am not going to spend the night there

Laura’s smile was now gone. She was hoping to spend as much time as possible with her, even just looking at her would be fine. But Carmilla had other plans apparently, probably with some girl.

Kirsch(10:47am): noooo ;( your charms have scored again?

Carmilla(10:48am): maybe

Danny(10:47am): oh right, Elle’s back, i forgot 

Laura didn’t know who Elle was. She assumed she could be someone Carmilla had dated or had something with. And from what they were saying, it looked like she was back in Carmilla’s life. 

What a mood killer. 

* * *

Laura’s mom was going to come visit her for a week. She arrived at lunch, the same day of Kirsch’s party.

“Mom, do you remember that i’ll be out tonight, right?” Laura said washing the dishes. 

“Yes, don’t worry..go have fun. Is the girl you’re seeing going to be there?” Her mother tentatively asked.

Laura stayed in silence for a moment, trying to choose wisely how to answer that. “Yes, but we’re not dating anymore.” She had said it out loud again, it was another step forward. 

Anne’s smile faltered, “oh, i was looking forward to meeting her.” She paused, then added “i’m sure you’ll find some girl, Laura” and kissed her cheek. 

Ok, that was unexpected. Her mother talking about girls being with girls and wishing for her own daughter to find a girl, was a pleasant surprise. 

Laura’s phone buzzed, her dad was calling her. “Hi dad, what’s up?” 

“Hey, has your mother arrived? Is she there? Can you get her on the phone?” He sounded alarmed. 

Laura frowned, “yes, just a second”, and gave her phone to her mother. 

She obviously could just hear what her mother was saying, “i told you not to worry, i was fine”, “yes, i will”, “no there’s no need for you to do that, i can take a bus”. 

When Anne ended the call, Laura looked at her expectantly. “What was that, mom?” 

“Oh nothing, just some misunderstanding between us.”

Laura didn’t believe that, “then why did you say,  _ i told you not to worry, i was fine _ , was there a reason you weren’t supposed to be fine?” 

Anne sighed. “Well...i just need to go to an appointment on Thursday..”, Laura cut her off, “a doctor appointment?”

Her mother nodded. 

“What for?”

“I didn’t want to tell you and ruin your party..”, Laura cut her off again, “mom, just tell me.”

“They found a benign tumor in my uterus. The doctor told me there’s nothing to worry about. They caught it early.” 

Laura bit her lower lip to try to contain the burst of emotions. 

“Laura, i’m going to be fine, really..”

“Can i come with you on Thursday?” Laura asked. 

Her mother looked at her with glistening eyes, “yes, you can”, and hugged her. 

* * *

Later that day, Laura was trying to choose what to wear. Her mother knocked on her bedroom door and peeked in, “can i come in?”

“Sure. I guess i’ll go naked ‘cause i really can’t decide.”

Anne laughed. “Come on now, do you still like that girl? Actually, what’s her name?”

Laura was thrown off by that. “Carmilla..and yes i still do”, she admitted. 

“Alright then, Carmilla. That’s a nice name. You know what? I think Carmilla is going to like this.” She took a white and blue blouse from the wardrobe. “Put it on!”

Laura removed the black shirt she had on and put on what her mother gave her. Anne looked at her, from head to toe, “you look gorgeous Laura. Keep those jeans on and you’re perfect.”

“Fine, thanks mom. But i don’t think she’s going to be looking at me tonight.” There was a sad smile on her face.

“Why is that?”

“My friends were saying she has someone..so..”

“Well..we’ll see if she won’t look at you.” Anne said smugly. 

The bell rang and that meant LaFontaine and Perry were there to pick her up. 

When they arrived at the place, Laura noticed her heart was beating faster than normal. What was wrong with her? She still had to enter and she still had to see if Carmilla was there at all. 

“Welcome beautiful people! Everyone’s already here, we were all waiting for you!” Kirsch greeted them, as they entered the house. And her heart picked up its pace again. 

They immediately went to the kitchen to say hi to Danny and some other people. Suddenly someone shouted her name, and when she turned to look from who that was coming from, she saw Will coming towards her. He didn’t even let her say a word, he just hugged her tightly, and when she was in his arms, she saw Carmilla right behind him. 

Laura showed a weird smile at her, as she was being crushed by Will’s enthusiasm. “Hey”, Carmilla said, with an unreadable expression. She greeted LaFontaine and Perry too and went to grab a beer. 

“Can i steal Laura from you?” Will asked the others. 

“Sure, go ahead, we’re going to make some drinks.” Perry answered.

They moved outside in the little garden of the house. “I have a date”, he looked at Laura almost with a shy smile.

“I’m so happy! Is she here?” Laura sat on a wood bench and he joined her.

“No, and it’s a man.” 

Laura opened her mouth and left it like that for some seconds, “i didn’t know you were..”, he cut her off, “i’m open to everything and everyone.” 

“When will you see him then?” 

“Tomorrow, for the fifth time actually, he couldn’t come tonight. I really like him, we’re probably going to sleep together tomorrow..yes, that kind of sleeping together.” He winked.

“Good. I won’t hide that i envy you, but i’m really happy and i want to meet him.” She nudged him. 

“I’ll arrange something. What about you? Seeing anyone? I know it didn’t work out with my sister and i’m sorry.” 

“No, i’m okay on my own though.” She lied. She didn’t even know why she was lying to him, Will had always been supportive and understanding. There was no need to lie. “Actually i’m not..”, she chuckled, “..i miss her, but i’m trying to move on.” 

“Oh, Laura..”, he hugged her, “i’m sure Carmilla will regret losing you.”

They stayed hugged for a minute. She loved him. He was exactly as Carmilla. The lovely and sweet side they both shared was something Laura was enamored of. 

When they went back inside Kirsch gave them a shot of tequila and invited them to go play a game. 

“Ok, whoever wants to play, come here!” Kirsch, Will, LaF, Perry, Laura, Danny and Carmilla and two other girls, all gathered in a circle on the floor. 

“So, what are we playing?” LaF asked.

“It’s an app game, you have to enter the names of the players..let me just do that..”, “ok, done it, it randomly selects stuff to do, truths to be revealed and bla bla. We’ll go clockwise. I read out loud what the app says, and then i’ll pass it to who’s on my side and so on.” Danny explained. 

“Great, go on, start!” Will excitedly said.

“Ok..Will, if you’ve ever broken a condom, drink, otherwise choose one person who should drink.” 

“HA! I have broken one!” He clapped his hands like he won the game..and then confused he said, ”Oh shit, do i have to drink?”

“YES!” Everyone responded. He downed what he still had in his glass and proceeded to read the next one. “Carmilla give a kiss to Will..but on his butt.”

Carmilla got up, “fine by me..it doesn’t specify if he should keep his jeans on or what, so i’m choosing..and you keep those on.” She glared at him, who had a wicked smile on his face. 

She placed the kiss, then made a face like she was internally debating something, and said “still gay.” Everybody laughed, Laura too and locked eyes with Carmilla, who was going back to her seat. They stopped staring at each other when Perry started reading the next one.

“Laura, say one of your sexual fantasies or drink 3 shots.”

“I can’t possibly drink 3 shots, so i’ll go with the fantasy.” Laura shot a quick glance at Carmilla. Kirsch shouted, “uuuuuh, we all want to know!”

“I know it may sound stupid or boring to some, but i’ve never done it, so, i’d like to be fucked while i’m bent over on a table..there i’ve said it.” She turned a bit red in the face but the alcohol surely helped her to be this forward.

“Oh, that’s a good one.” Perry smugly said and everyone looked at her in disbelief. While everyone was busy wondering if those words had truly left Perry’s mouth, Laura quickly looked at Carmilla, who was staring back at her, with a wicked grin on her face, one side of her mouth curved up.

Laura blushed even more. She didn’t know what that meant. Why was Carmilla looking at her like that?

The game went on for an hour or so, until everyone got bored and decided to take a break from it. 

Laura was coming back from the bathroom, when she heard Kirsch talking just outside the door that lead to the garden. She saw he was with Carmilla and stopped right behind a wall, where they could not see her. 

“Did you know she was back in town?” Kirsch asked. 

“Kirsch, i told you i don’t give a shit about Elle.” Was Carmilla’s harsh response. 

Oh.

So this  _ Elle  _ was not back into Carmilla’s life. This sent a wave of relief through Laura, who felt guilty for eavesdropping and went back to the others. 

“Why don’t we do another round of that game?” Kirsch asked.

Everyone nodded, “the last one though”, Perry mumbled.

“I’ll pass” Carmilla said and went to sit on the windowsill, from where she still could witness the whole game. 

“I’ll go, Danny tell us your first kiss and rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.” LaFontaine read. 

“Oh..it wasn’t pretty, it was with this guy i thought i had a crush on, we kissed at a new year’s eve party..he used his tongue too much and definitely didn’t enjoy it. I would rate it as a 4.” 

“Ew, so you dumped him?” Will asked curiously.

“You could say that, we weren’t even a thing.” Danny explained and then added, “go on, mine was lame.”

“Laura say something you wish would happen.” Kirsch read.

“I wish my mom to be fine again.” Laura simply said. 

Everyone looked at her with wide eyes, “what happened??” Perry asked.

“Um - “, Laura’s lower lip quivered, “she has some health issues.” Will and Kirsch immediately hugged her, causing her to cry a little. When they released her from the hug, she waved her hands around, “but she’s going to be fine” and started crying more.

“Oh no, she’s drunk, the sad kind of drunk.” Danny mumbled.

“Don’t be a bitch, come on.” LaFontaine countered, glaring at her. 

Carmilla, who was listening closely to what was happening despite her unaffected semblance, glared at Danny, got up, grabbed Laura by the wrist and went towards the hallway. Everybody else wondered what had just happened and that was the same thinking Laura was having. 

Carmilla dragged her inside of Kirsch’s bedroom, which was empty. Once they entered it, she closed the door, and pulled Laura in for a tight hug. Laura was still confused, this was a weird behaviour, considering how the two of them had left each other.

“I don’t -”, Laura started, but all Carmilla said was, “shhh”. One arm held her tight around her back and one hand moved to start stroking lightly her hair. 

Laura broke down and cried. There was no way she could hold back the tears right now. Being in Carmilla’s arms was everything she had dreamt of for the last month. She didn’t know why Carmilla was doing this, why was she holding her like this, but she just wanted to melt in that little momentary bubble. 

A loud bang startled them and the door burst open, “ops, sorry..but you need to move your car, Carmilla, my friend needs to get out and it’s kind of in the middle”, Kirsch said with sympathetic eyes.

“Oh right”, she released Laura from the hug, cupped her cheeks and looked at her, even though Laura was not looking back at her. She left the room and went outside. 

“What happened here?” Kirsch asked.

“I don’t know.” Laura wiped her wet cheeks. 

“I guess there’s still something unresolved, uh?” 

“I - I don’t know, Kirsch.” He noticed it was something she didn’t want to discuss right now, “ok ok, don’t worry, come with me, i’ll warm up some mini pizzas.” Laura smiled and followed him back towards the kitchen. 

Carmilla came back in, and shot a glance at Laura, who stared back. They both knew they were communicating something with those eyes, but both of them weren’t sure whether that  _ something _ was the same thing or not. 

After a lot of beers and drinks later, everyone was quite wasted, except for Carmilla and LaFontaine.

“Ok, i’m going to go to bed!” LaFontaine announced. A lot of other Kirsch’s friends were already sleeping on the couch and on the floor. 

“So, are you staying Carmilla? It’s pretty late, come on, don’t go home” Kirsch looked at her with pleading eyes. 

“Um - actually, i’d like to stay the night, but i didn’t bring any form of bed.” Her smile was shy and Laura focused probably too much on how beautiful it looked on her. 

“I brought a spare air bed, if you want” LaFontaine said.

“Sure, thanks!” 

“Ok, then Carmilla, LaF, Perry and Laura, you can all sleep in the bedroom upstairs. Will is sleeping with me, and well, Danny is already wasted.” Kirsch gestured towards an armchair. 

“Wow it’s so big, i wish i had a room like this!” LaFontaine remarked, as they entered the bedroom. A double bed was placed in the middle, a light-blue carpet covered the whole room and a reading nook was lit by the moonlight that filtered through the adjacent window. 

As Perry and LaFontaine were already under the sheets, Carmilla and Laura still had to figure out where to put their air bed. 

“I’m quickly going to the bathroom, goodnight!” Laura said heading out. 

Carmilla placed her air bed on the floor to the right side of the bed. She changed into a big sweater and bigger pants Kirsch had given her, and covered herself with a blanket. When she heard Laura came back in, she quickly closed her eyes. 

When Laura eyed the room, she realized she couldn’t possibly put her air bed near Carmilla’s, as there was no space available.

Even if she wanted to be close to her she settled to putting her own bed at the foot of the big bed. She sighed heavily and tried to relax and sleep. 

She couldn’t. She kept replaying the whole night in her mind, especially what had happened with Carmilla. She desperately craved for the other girl’s warmth again, she loved how Carmilla held her. She didn’t even know what her mother’s health issue was, but she didn’t need to know that apparently, she just wanted to provide safeness and a warm embrace. 

An embrace that could cure anything. 

That’s why she loved Carmilla. And just like that, realization hit her. 

She was in love with Carmilla. 

She wished she could have shouted that to her mother, she wished she could have had the chance to let her mother meet this beautiful soul. 

Thoughts kept going in her head, sleep was a mirage. Her mother was ill and she so badly wanted to make that go away with a snap of her fingers, but that’s not really how the human world works. This helplessness hit her deeply and she started sobbing. 

She knew LaFontaine were asleep, because she could hear them snore, but she tried to keep her sobbing as quiet as possible, as to not disturb or wake anyone. 

She abruptly stopped, when she heard someone moving. From the source of those sounds, she guessed it was Carmilla. She closed her eyes and waited. 

Waited until she heard Carmilla put down her air bed just near hers and lay on top of it. She was now sure it was Carmilla, she could recognize that smell everywhere.

Carmilla shifted closer, attaching her own bed to Laura’s. They stayed like that for a while. Both of them knew of the other’s presence a couple of inches away. 

Laura brought up her hand and wiped her cheek, for the second time that night. Crying two times within an hour, what a record, Laura thought to herself.

She took her mind off of these considerations, when she felt Carmilla’s hand caressing her side. She stiffened. She felt like crying again, she didn’t deserve all of this care and sweetness from this girl. She had hurt her and she truly didn’t deserve that.

Apparently Carmilla wasn’t of the same thought, as she shifted even closer and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her towards her. 

Laura’s back was pressed into Carmilla’s front, and she finally was able to relax. They both didn’t say a word. Carmilla brought up the hand on the waist and caressed Laura’s face, moving some strands of hair out of the way, tucking them behind her ear. The softness of that gesture made Laura’s heart swell. 

She wanted to turn around and thank her, but for fear of breaking the moment, she didn’t. This was not the time for talking. She took Carmilla’s hand in hers and brought it against her chest, keeping her close. 

Laura easily fell asleep after a bit in the warmth of the person she loved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	13. Make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after the party?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Folks, the next chapter will be the last one. So, enjoy ;)

During the night they shifted positions pretty often and they basically created a single blanket, that covered both of them, with their own ones. Carmilla never left Laura’s side, her arm draped over her waist basically the whole night. 

Laura was loving how the other girl was making her feel safe. She felt Carmilla’s hand twitching, and suddenly moving from her waist, to her stomach and up to her breasts, caressing them lightly. That light touch made her shiver. 

When Carmilla felt Laura’s nipples harden, she slid her hand under her shirt, stroking on her belly. Circling around her navel. 

Those fingertips, in contact with her own skin, were sending Laura already over the edge. She gasped and felt that hand sink lower, teasing at her pants’ hem. She pressed together her own thighs, almost automatically and unconsciously. A craving was building inside of her, more than a month without this touch,  _ her touch _ , was proven just now to be too much to bear.

This burden could be lifted with a mind-blowing orgasm. Which looked like it was about to happen.

Carmilla’s hand moved further down her pants and with an incredibly slow pace, dipped her fingers inside her underwear, cupping her pussy. Her fingers were cold but Laura didn’t care at all. She just wanted to feel. She turned, from her side, and laid on her back, allowing Carmilla to angle her hand’s movements better. 

As she switched position she woke up.

Confused, she took in the surroundings. She was indeed facing the ceiling, but she looked at Carmilla, who was asleep on her side, looking the other way. 

Fuck. What a fucking joke the human mind is, she thought.

She tried to sleep again, at least for a bit, and when she woke up again, Carmilla was just stretching, probably waking up too. The older girl saw Laura awake. “Hey”, her low raspy voice almost startled Laura, who didn’t actually noticed that Carmilla was indeed awake. 

“Hey”, she answered back, too afraid to look her in the eyes. Afraid of what? She just had a sex dream about her, so it’s not exactly the most appropriate moment to have a conversation while waking up beside the object of her desires and dreams. She turned on her side too, giving her back to Carmilla.

Carmilla suddenly moved closer and spooned her. Laura immediately felt hot in her whole body. She was not expecting this at all.

“Do you know what time it is?” Her voice still low.

Laura looked at her phone near her bed, “it’s 8.10.”

“Oh, good..we can stay here a bit more.”

Laura relaxed at that, she didn’t know why, but there was something in the way Carmilla said that, that was soothing. The older girl’s hand was once again on her waist. Laura brought her hand down and started playing with Carmilla’s fingers, caressing the inside of each of them.

“What?” Carmilla asked, surprised by the action. 

“Nothing.” It wasn’t true, it was the opposite of  _ nothing _ , but words were hard to find. She intertwined their fingers and brought their hands back up, near her own chest.

In the motion, Carmilla’s hand grazed accidentally on her breast, and Laura opened her eyes wide. Her nipples were hard. Were they hard from the dream or was it a completely new feeling? She blushed knowing that most certainly, Carmilla had felt that. 

She didn’t have the time to think about it a second more, because Carmilla placed a kiss at the base of her neck, keeping her lips there. Laura shivered, which was acknowledged by the other girl, who smiled into that lingering kiss. 

“Are you cold?” Carmilla asked, teasing a bit.

“No.”

“Do you want me to go?” The question hung in the air for some moments.

“No.” Laura knew there was much more to it, and she was pretty sure Carmilla meant it in a broad sense too. But she settled to answer a  _ no _ , which meant she wanted her there, right in that moment. 

Laura suddenly placed Carmilla’s hand on her belly, encouraging her to touch her under her shirt. The dream from a couple of hours ago, was replaying in her head and she’d be a liar if she said she didn’t want what she dreamt of. 

Unlike what she had witnessed in her dream, Carmilla’s fingers were warm, not cold. The warmth radiating from her fingertips spread into her whole body, and reached her core, making her feel incredibly hot right there compared to any other place in her body. 

She took hold of Carmilla’s hand once again, and brought it down into her underwear without hesitation. She heard Carmilla release a low intake of air. She closed her eyes, trying to relish what she was feeling, and when she felt one finger grazing lightly on her clit, she opened her eyes, just to roll them with pleasure.

Carmilla continued with gentle strokes, loving how helpless Laura was being. 

As soon as Laura tried to open her legs, to get a better friction, she realized what they were doing. LaFontaine and Perry were still in the room with them, sound asleep, but still there. She jerked Carmilla’s hand and moved it away, a bit too harshly. 

She quickly stood up and went out of the room, leaving Carmilla paralyzed and confused, to say the least. 

Laura ate a quick breakfast with Kirsch and then left before anyone else had the chance to wake up. 

* * *

Two days later and Laura was still embarrassed to even think about what they were doing that night. 

She shouldn’t have had that dream. Dreams are weird and unreal, most of the times. But then again, how do you control a dream? You can’t. She wished she could, so that she would be able to stop dreaming about this girl and start dreaming less indecent and lewd things. But that’s not in the nature of dreams. They listen to you and they don’t, that’s the way it is.

These pindaric flights, lead her to guess that Carmilla was probably thinking she just wanted a quickie, but that was the last thing she actually wanted. 

Why did she have to fuck up in the first place?

A week passed and they never interacted in any way. 

LaFontaine and Perry almost forced her to go out on Saturday night, saying she needed to find someone new. They didn’t know Laura was still hung up on Carmilla so badly and were trying to set her up with some girl.

Betty, her ex university colleague, was there too. After their first round of drinks, they decided to go dance for a bit. Laura wasn’t entirely in the mood to be glued up to other sweaty people, but she pushed herself and berated herself to give it a chance. 

As the songs faded and started again and again, she was beginning to feel a bit more bold and at ease. Someone bumped into her, and as she turned to look at whoever it was, she was faced with a smiling brunette. Laura didn’t give her too much attention, and resumed to her moves, copying LaFontaine in a quirky impersonation of the song  _ What is love _ .

They took a break and went to the bar counter to drown a refreshing drink down their throats. As  _ Rhythm is a Dancer _ started playing, Perry opened her eyes wide and run towards the dancefloor again, followed by the others, except for Laura.

She took a sip of her drink and the brunette from moments ago, appeared beside her. The girl ordered, and as she waited for her beer, she tried to make conversation with her.

“Trying to forget about someone?” She asked.

Laura was startled by the question, which was exactly on point. “Not really, just having fun with some friends, and you?”, she lied. 

“Just trying to meet someone and i did..” She smirked, Laura cut her off before she could finish her sentence and misinterpreted it, “oh i’m not available”, she lied again. Why was she being like this? She was totally available if she wanted, but the truth was, she didn’t want to be.

The girl chuckled, “darling, i’m not into girls, but my friend here sure is”, she turned and pointed to a girl standing behind her, “right, Elle?”

Elle came into view and Laura immediately realized where she had already heard that name. Carmilla’s ex. Could this be her? She surely had never met many girls named Elle, but this could definitely be her and at the same time she couldn’t. She decided to pry a bit. 

“Nice to meet you. You’re the one trying to forget someone then?” Laura surprised herself by her strategic interrogation. 

“Likewise.” She smiled at her but didn’t answer the question. 

Her friend spoke for her, “oh she is, maybe you can help her”, she winked at Laura and hopped off the stool. She looked at Elle and said, “honey, Carmilla has moved on, start accepting it and have some fun.” 

OH NO.

This was indeed  _ that _ Elle. 

Laura panicked as she heard those words, and immediately tried to think of reasons to excuse herself. Her thoughts were killed, when Elle’s friend told her, “hey, she’s a bit drunk”, and run off, leaving them alone. 

She panicked again, not knowing what to do or say. She saw Elle sit on the stool near hers. “So, what is your name?”

“Laura”, she coldly answered.

“Do you like someone, Laura?”, she abruptly asked.

Laura didn’t know exactly what to say. “Yes, well..it’s a complicated situation, we seem to be wanting each other but at the same time i think we are afraid of something”, she rambled a bit.

“At least she wants you, whoever she is..i saw her the other day and cursed myself for fucking it all up.”

“You saw who?” Laura wanted to be certain who she was talking about.

“Carmilla..she’s my ex, we broke up more than a year ago, but i keep running into her and..i can’t really get her out of my head..” Her words were a bit slurred.

In the meantime Kirsch and Danny entered the pub and went to sit at a table. 

“She’s usually not late..why is she late?” He asked, turning to Danny.

“I think she had a job dinner, with some colleagues, she texted me 20 minutes ago, she should be here..” As Danny finished that sentence, Carmilla plopped down in the booth. 

“And here i am!” She announced, her voice uncharacteristically too enthusiastic.

“Good, ‘cause i think there’s something you should see...or maybe not.” Kirsch said unsure of his own words, gesturing towards the bar counter.

Carmilla’s eyes landed in that direction and got stuck on two people. One she didn’t care to see at all and one she missed. 

In that moment, Laura asked Elle, “well..why don’t you try to move on? Meet someone new?”, which was a question she could have easily addressed to herself. 

“Maybe i already did.” Elle traced her fingers along Laura’s arm. 

Carmilla watched the interaction, almost not trusting her own eyes. “They’re here together?” She asked her friends, like it was something unreal. And in all honesty, it was.

“Um - looks like it.” Danny, incredulous too, admitted. Silence fell on all of them. They really didn’t know what to say. 

“I’m here with my friends, i think i should go look for them..” Laura was awkwardly trying to get off the stool, without ending up trapped between her stool and Elle. She turned her head, eyeing the pub and looking for Perry or LaFontaine or Betty or anyone that could save her from this.

Her eyes stopped their research, when she saw Carmilla, looking right back at her, with an indecipherable expression. She saw her lower her gaze, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. 

Laura jerked Elle’s hand away, who was now gripping hard on her arm. “Sorry”, she said and run off to the bathroom. She tried to think of what to do next. Should she go find her friends first or go and talk to Carmilla? 

Laura was sure to have spent the next 25 minutes, locked in a bathroom stall, scrutinizing the whole situation and trying to find the best solution for this, as to not fuck up further.

She left the bathroom, shot a glance towards the table Carmilla was previously sat at, just to find it with people she didn’t know. She decided to head for the bar counter and order a beer or something; in order to explain what had just happened to her friends, she figured a little help (in the form of alcohol) was needed.

As she was waiting, someone came up near her. “Is she your new flame?” Danny asked. 

“Who?” Laura looked confused.

“Don’t be stupid.”

As if she remembered all in an instant, “no! God, no! You know i still like Carmilla.”

“She doesn’t think that.” Danny bit back. 

After explaining everything to Danny, she eyed the pub again, in search for Carmilla.

“She’s outside. Garden.” Danny spoke, grasping Laura’s intentions. 

She gave up waiting for her beer and went straight for the door that lead out. She saw her on the usual bench, wearing a dress. When their eyes met, she was stunned by her beauty, as if she didn’t know that already. But tonight, she was even more beautiful, such expressive eyes, almost sad, long wavy dark hair, a dress that stood out her shoulders’ and neck’s curves. 

This view annihilated her capacity for speech. 

“How’s your mom?” Carmilla asked.

“Um - she’s - she’s fine..”, god, even right now she could be caring and considerate, “she’ll have an operation next week”. 

Carmilla just pressed her lips together and gave a nod, looking away. 

“Thank you for asking, but i wanted to tell you something..” Laura started, but was cut off , “Laura, you don’t have to explain anything to me, it’s okay, you can date whoever you want, even my ex..i just ask you to stop come looking for me.”

Laura shook her head vigorously, “no, no, no, that’s not what i want! I met her by accident, i was not flirting with her, she was drunk and i don’t even want to talk to her again.” She paused. “I want you, i want to flirt with you, talk to you, sleep with you and i want you flirting with me.” 

Carmilla raised her gaze and stared at a blank point on Laura’s shirt. “So..what happened the other day?”

“What do you mean?”

“You seemed to be pretty horny.” She finally looked at her in the eyes and smiled. 

Laura smiled back, turning a bit red in the face. “Well..i was. I - I - was having a dream about you”, she admitted. 

“Oh.” Carmilla smirked wider. “I’m flattered. Can i buy you a drink?” 

“Sure.” Carmilla stood up, took her hand and lead her back inside.

Laura sensed that they were not done talking, in fact, she still had a lot to say, but figured she would follow Carmilla’s lead for now. 

“I’m impressed you were able to spend more than two minutes with her..” Carmilla said placing down their drink on the table. 

“I’m not sure i get why..i mean she was drunk, so i don’t really know what you mean..” Laura took a sip.

“Nothing, she just says a lot of stupid things and she’s annoying.”

“So, that’s why you broke up with her?” Laura chuckled.

“Yes. That too.” Carmilla was serious.

Laura noticed her tone. “What do you mean?”

“We just didn’t want the same things in the end..and she really was annoying, the bad kind of annoying, not like yours.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Laura mocked an offence. 

“You’re not annoying, Laura..i phrased it badly, sorry”, she blushed a bit, “you just are intense sometimes, but i find it lovely”. 

Laura found this endearing and smiled at her. Right in that moment, Perry and LaFontaine, came up near their table, “oh my god, you’re here. We looked for you everywhere! How’s the night?”, LaFontaine asked, wiggling their eyebrows a bit.

Carmilla, who was facing Laura, stood up and went to sit near her. She placed her arm around her shoulders and said looking at her “i was just telling her how lovely she is, so i guess it’s pretty fine, right?”

Laura blushed and the two redheads sat down. “Oh, so, you two..are still a thing?” Perry asked.

“What about you two, uh?” Carmilla asked her back, looking at LaFontaine too, making both of them blush. Laura chuckled and loved how snarky she was being.

When no answer came, she continued, “Laura just told me she wants me to flirt with her, so excuse me if we disappear in a while.” Laura jokingly glared at her, thinking there was no need to reveal her desires. 

“Oh don’t worry, we were just going home, we need to do some chores and jobs at home tomorrow.” They both stood up, “enjoy your night”, “bye bye”, Perry and LaFontaine said walking away.

“Chores, jobs?” Carmilla looked at Laura confused. 

“Don’t ask.” After a bit, she squeezed Carmilla’s knee from under the table trying to catch her attention, “I think your ex is looking at us.”

“So? Let her.”

“Can we go dance for one song?”  _ I Follow Rivers _ started playing in the pub. 

“Can we go home after that?” Carmilla asked.

Laura tried not to think about what that meant, but it was inevitable. “I’d like that.”

Their bodies were pressed together for most of the song, neither of them knew how to properly dance, but that wasn’t the point at all. They just wanted to be close to each other, feel the other’s warmth and anticipate what they were hoping to do once home. 

Laura was in a bliss. “You in a dress..fuck”, she said in her ear.

“Horny again?” Carmilla joked. 

“You have no idea.” 

“Do you want to go?”

Laura didn’t answer, she just dragged her outside. 

As they got to the apartment, Carmilla let the blonde in and closed the door. As soon as she did that, she took hold of Laura’s hand, twisted her and pulled her towards her, catching her lips. Laura whined into the kiss. She wasn’t expecting a kiss in that moment, but as her lips touched Carmilla’s she was remembered of how much she missed that. 

Laura broke the kiss, “why were you wearing a dress today? You usually don’t.” 

“Why this random question?” Carmilla laughed.

“Just curious.”

“Oh”, Carmilla smugly looked at her.

“You didn’t answer my question though.”

“Well, i had a dinner..if you like it this much, i can…”, she was cut off with a kiss, “yes”, Laura simply said. 

They started kissing again and were heading towards the bedroom. 

“Carmilla..I - i think we should talk..” Laura said panting, stopping in front of the bed.

“I think we’ve talked enough for tonight.” She traced Laura’s bottom lip with her tongue. “No talking.” Laura knew that wasn’t true, they hadn’t talked  _ enough _ , they still had things to sort out and clarify, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop the trail of kisses on her neck.

Laura pushed her on the bed and laid right next to her. She lifted Carmilla’s dress a bit, to give her room to move her hand better and left it rolled up on her waist. 

She cupped Carmilla’s pussy, which was an unexpected move, and Carmilla audibly gasped. 

She felt dampness on her underwear. Carmilla was wet for her. This meant she still had an effect on the girl and she took great pleasure in knowing this. 

“I see. This is what i do to you too.” Laura smirked.

“Shhh.” Carmilla let out, feeling red in the face.

“Then can i do this?” She initially slipped the tip of her fingers in her underwear, then pushed them down and cupped her whole pussy. Carmilla gasped again and whimpered a bit. Laura loved to hear her making such noises. 

“Do whatever you want.” It came out as a mixture of pleading and light anger. 

Laura sensed that and started rubbing her fingers on Carmilla’s clit. She would not let anger subside right now. 

“Are you still mad at me? For what i did?” Laura asked.

“No, i am not.” 

Laura removed her hand from her underwear and let it rest on Carmilla’s belly. “Are you sure?”

Carmilla groaned frustrated, “i remember asking you no talking! Couldn’t you just fuck me?”

_ I didn’t want to just fuck you. _

She thought it, but didn’t say it out loud. 

“Sorry sorry, i just can’t if i know we’re not completely okay.”

“Laura, look at me, i know you think you fucked up, and you did in a way..you should have respected my wishes, but i see now that what you were trying to do was for me. I know you were trying to give me everything you could, and i appreciate that..and maybe you thought i didn’t want you anymore, but it’s still pretty clear i do.” 

Laura thought back to everything Carmilla did that night at Kirsch’s party, the way she hugged her when she was crying for her mother, how she moved her bed just to be close and cuddle with her. This girl really wanted her and there was no way she would let her go. 

“I want you too, you know? I really do.” Laura played with the hem of Carmilla’s dress. 

Carmilla cupped her cheek, “i know”, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

“Are we okay?” 

“We are, totally.”

As if she was snapped out of a daze, Laura abruptly said, “oh my god, i ruined this moment too.”

Carmilla pushed her onto the bed, straddling her, “you didn’t, take this shirt off”, and helped her remove the now useless piece of clothing. 

Laura caressed the exposed thighs on her sides, while Carmilla moved to kiss her, firstly on her lips, then down on her collarbone, and breasts. 

“Can i go lower?” Carmilla looked at her through her eyelashes.

“Yes..please.”

Carmilla stood up and let her dress fall, then grabbed Laura’s jeans and pulled them down, leaving her in her underwear and bra. She kept massaging her belly, and Laura looked at her confused when she saw she wasn’t going for further actions and just stared at her. “What? It’s not your first time seeing me, why are you staring so hard?”

“I’ve missed you, Laura.” Carmilla said with intense eyes.

Laura’s heart skipped a beat, “i’ve missed you too, you and your soft side.” 

Carmilla placed a kiss on her belly, then descended, she moved to the side with one finger her underwear and barely licked her there, “have you missed this too?”

“Please, take them off”, was all Laura could say. 

With one quick motion, her underwear was gone, and the older girl started properly licking. She swept her tongue out with a broad lick, sliding up her whole pussy, from the bottom of her slit to her clit, tasting her after a long time. 

Laura moaned wildly at that movement and put both of her hands in the other girl’s hair, keeping her there.

Carmilla brought up one finger, started inspecting her opening with it, coaxing it all with her fluids. She pushed her fingertip inside, just a bit, “i think you’re pretty tight. I don’t know if you’re ready yet”, looking up at her smirking.

She kept her finger there, massaging the warm area, and bringing up her body to kiss Laura fiercely. 

When they broke the kiss, lips still barely touching, “put it inside”, Laura panted. 

Carmilla didn’t follow the order right away, she kept kissing her and moved her finger onto her clit, stroking lightly with long up-and-down motions. When she felt Laura shiver, she slid it inside, finally. Agonizingly slowly, the whole length of it. 

“Ahh..fuck”, Laura let out, moaning. 

“That’s what i want to hear.”

Carmilla’s pace picked up, and when she slid another finger inside, she caused Laura to let out a small shriek. 

Her fingers pumped in and out, stretching her open, letting her remember the feeling of being filled up, and just when Carmilla’s palm brushed against her clit, she felt her own pussy clamp down on her fingers. Her orgasm was building inside of her, from her mind to every single region of her body.

As it came, she ground down on Carmilla’s fingers even more, letting her whole body shiver, wither and release every bit of tension and pressure she was holding in. 

Carmilla slowed down her movements, removed her hand and moved to Laura’s side, letting her gather her breath.

“There’s no way i’m letting you without one, after that.” Laura looked at her, her hair a mess, but her eyes so beautiful they almost cracked Carmilla open. 

“I’m here, all yours.” Carmilla was still in her underwear, which was most certainly ruined by now.

“I want you naked, Carm”, Laura demanded.

The dark haired girl shivered with anticipation at that and undressed herself.

Laura started caressing her breasts, those perfect rounds were wonderful, not too big, not too small, just like she loved them. She brought down her mouth and took one of those hard nipples in it. She sucked and saw Carmilla threw her head back and close her eyes.

When she placed a light kiss on the outside of her boob, and went to continue her ministration to the other one, Carmilla looked down at her, “why don’t you tell me your dream? You said you dreamt about me.”

Laura smiled wickedly, “you want me to tell you that dream while i fuck you?”

Carmilla almost blushed, “well..i’m curious.”

“So...while i fuck you.” Laura smirked, “you can say that it’s one of your kinks, you know?”

“I guess we’ll see afterward..if it works, it’s definitely my kink.” 

Laura took it as a challenge and gently bit on her breast. 

“Well..you remember you were spooning me, right? I was thinking of your hand groping my breasts and going down.” Laura did exactly that, she let her hand travel down Carmilla’s body, from her collarbone, to her belly and stopped right on her pussy mound. 

Carmilla pushed her hips up, wanting more.

“Then your hand searching for my hot center”, she palmed her mound and slid her fingers down, opening her folds. “You’re already so wet. I love it.”

“And then?” Carmilla couldn’t wait anymore, she wanted Laura inside of her.

“Then this.” She put two fingers inside, making Carmilla gasp, “you were initially fucking me slowly, as i’m doing right now with you, but then you really started making me struggle to breathe, your fingers pumping madly in me.” 

Carmilla felt a drop in the pit of her stomach, a boiling hot drop. Laura thinking about this, made her go insane, knowing she dreamt of this and knowing she wanted it to happen, could be enough to make her almost come.

“I was trying to muffle my moans, because there were our friends in the same room, and it was really hard, believe me..but right now..you can writhe, scream and do whatever you want.” Laura pressed her thumb on the other girl’s clit, and Carmilla’s abdomen tensed. 

“Oh..”, Carmilla let out, “kiss my neck, please.” 

Laura’s thumb started doing circles,  _ oh circles,  _ and Carmilla could feel her whole body tingling, “don’t stop..don’t stop.” 

As, what it felt like a never-ending orgasm, washed over her, she cried out Laura’s name, gripping with one hand the sheets, and with the other the blonde’s back, scratching her. 

Laura kept her fingers inside and never stopped planting kisses on her neck and collarbone. “I guess we can call it a kink, right? You came all over my hand.”

If Carmilla’s face wasn’t already flushed, it would definitely be right now, “mm”, she just muttered.

Carmilla brought her hand up, put one finger under Laura’s chin, urging her to look at her, “come here”, and kissed her passionately.

When they broke the kiss, Laura settled to the other girl’s side, still hugging her, her mouth near her ear, “and you never left my side after that..in the dream.” Suddenly she felt self-conscious and a bit scared.

“Which is what i’ll do. From now on. And i’d want you to never leave my side either.” Carmilla immediately answered back.

Laura smiled, her lips pressed into Carmilla’s ear. “I won’t. I don’t want to do that.”

“Good”, the older girl paused for a moment, then traced her fingers along Laura’s back, “so..do you maybe want to stay tonight and sleep here with me?” 

The question hung in the air for a bit, making Carmilla anxious as the seconds passed. 

Laura literally felt butterflies in her stomach, this would be the first time they’d be spending the night together, sleeping at each other’s side. “I do, i really do.” She snuggled up to Carmilla, pressing a kiss to her pulse point. 

_ I want you to never leave my side.  _

Those words weighed astonishingly, they brought a lot of meaning, but what was it? Was it love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	14. Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ending.  
> With smut, because i couldn't end it without it, let's face it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps. I might do some extra chapters/whatever for this story, probably smut if it happens, but i can't promise anything right now. If you have any suggestions, though, shoot them at me!

Sleeping together, actually sleeping and not having sex, was amazingly warm, safe and everything Laura could have ever dreamt of. Waking up together, a kiss pressed onto her forehead, a nice hot coffee and breakfast prepared for her, was what she always wanted to wake up to. 

Today, though, she had some other thoughts bothering her. Not really bothering, but worrying her. Her mother was going to have her operation. 

“Thank you for breakfast and you know..everything.” Laura said approaching the door.

Carmilla leaned onto the wall with her arms crossed. “Will you let me know later?”

Laura made a confused face.

“Your mom.” Carmilla clarified. 

_ She remembers _ . 

“Of course, i just hope everything will be fine..we were just beginning to get along, she was being sweet and different from what she was before, i don’t want -” 

Carmilla interrupted her by taking her hand and pulling her in for a hug. “Don’t think like that. I want to meet her and i will, ok?” 

Laura gripped Carmilla’s shirt, “ok..i want you to meet her too.” 

The older girl placed a kiss on Laura’s lips, “talk to you later?”

“Yes, have a good day, Carm.” She exited the door with all of her strengths, even though she wanted to remain there for the whole day.

* * *

“So, when is your father coming?” Anne asked.

The operation went smoothly and according to plan. Laura had gone out to lunch on her own, letting her mother rest. She came back that she was still sleeping, so she decided to read some articles she had to catch up on. Her mother had then woken up an hour later and they had talked for the whole time, signal that she was indeed fine. 

“It’s 5pm right now, he said around 6..do you mind if i go down to the vending machines? I am a little hungry..i’ll be right back.” Laura asked, placing her hand on her arm.

“Don’t worry, go on..i’ll be here, i can’t really go anywhere.” Anne smiled, giving a pat on her hand. 

She sprinted down the stairs, hoping there wouldn’t be an infinite queue where she was headed. As soon as she entered the little room, she saw someone she knew, sipping something. 

“What are you doing here?” She asked, approaching her.

“Um hi, i wanted to see you, but i obviously don’t know your mother’s name, so they couldn’t tell me which room, so i figured i waited here for you.” Carmilla said a bit shyly. 

“You could have sent me a message.”

“Well, i kind of wanted to make a surprise but i realized i messed it up.” Her cheeks turned red, which was something Laura loved. 

“Oh, shut up, you didn’t mess up anything. I love that you’re here.” She kissed her quickly, “come with me.” Carmilla followed her to the vending machine, once she took a packet of white chocolate cookies, they headed upstairs. 

When they reached her mother’s room, Laura stopped in her tracks, took Carmilla’s hand in hers, “are you sure you want to meet her?” 

“I wouldn’t be here otherwise, Laura.” 

Laura’s lips curved up, “ok, come then.” She let her hand go and entered the room. 

“I’m back, mom, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine..you saw me 5 minutes ago, Laura. Oh, is this your girlfriend?” She gestured with her head in the direction of the dark-haired girl. 

Laura turned red as a beet and desperately tried to find the right words to answer that, “um, she’s the girl i’ve been telling you about, Carmilla.”

Carmilla smiled and lowered her head, then said, “nice to meet you.”

“Nice meeting you finally Carmilla, i’m Anne. My daughter has been talking about you a lot, you must be really close.”

“Mom, we’ve already said that.”

Carmilla went to sit on the only chair near the bed, stopped and looked at Laura, asking with a gesture of her head if she wanted to sit down. Laura shook her head, “no you sit, don’t worry.”

“Well, i’m curious..what do you do Carmilla?”

“I’m a philosophy researcher at the University.” Carmilla took one cookie that was offered to her by the girl standing beside her.

Anne’s eyebrows shot up, “we’re kind of colleagues then. I’m a math teacher, high school, but fortunately i’m near retirement.” 

Carmilla laughed. “Ok, please let’s not talk about retirement”, Laura added.

“Actually, today i had to cover for a professor and during the lesson we were talking about some interesting facts about mathematics too. When they discovered the square root of 2, Greek philosophers celebrated it by sacrificing 100 oxen. Apparently, philosophers were happier than mathematicians, who even knows why.” Carmilla said a bit timidly, but also proudly.

“Oh wow, i didn’t know that..they surely wouldn’t be able to celebrate like that nowadays. And Laura wouldn’t certainly approve, since she was vegetarian for a while.” Anne replied, sitting upright.

“Oh come on, who would? Killing 100 animals just to celebrate a stupid thing?” Laura retorted.

“Well, it’s not stupid, but you have a point.” Her mother agreed. 

Carmilla looked at her phone, “i just remembered that i need to go to the grocery store, my fridge is almost empty, so..” 

Anne saw Laura’s face turn into disappointment at that, “you can go too, Laura, your father is coming in a bit, don’t worry about me.” 

“Are you sure?” Laura asked.

“Yes, totally..besides, i’d prefer you to spend time with this young lady, than with your old mother.” Anne winked at Carmilla, who was pleasantly surprised to see her approving of this. 

“Fine, but i’ll come see you tomorrow, ok?” 

“Ok, have a fun night, girls.” Anne smiled widely at both of them. Laura gave her a kiss and then went for the door.

“It was nice meeting you, Anne.” Carmilla said, while Laura was already dragging her outside of the room.

“Bye Carmilla.”

They spent the following 45 minutes at the grocery store. While they were headed back towards Carmilla’s apartment, Laura took the other girl’s free hand (the other was carrying a bag) in hers. Carmilla stiffened for a moment and then learnt to love the contact with Laura’s skin.

“So..you’ve been talking about me to your mother, uh?” Carmilla smirked.

“Well, you’re worth it, so yeah i have.” Laura blushed saying that.

“Thank you, Laura.”

“Besides, who wouldn’t want to meet you?” She laughed a bit.

“No, i’m serious Laura.”

“I’m serious too.”

“No, i mean it really. No one ever told me i was worth it. And hearing it from the person i deem worth it herself..it’s a gift i didn’t think i could deserve.”

Laura stopped walking abruptly. “Don’t say things like these. Never again, ok? You are, and no one else saw you for who you really are, i’m glad i did and was given the chance to.”

Carmilla couldn’t find the words to thank this beautiful soul in front of her, so she did what she hoped would transfer the same gratitude. She kissed her. 

“Anyway, we’re home..would you, would you like to stay for dinner?” Carmilla asked, their lips almost still touching.

“Yes, absolutely.” Laura gave her the widest of smiles.

* * *

“I need to relax 10 minutes before starting dinner..today was really tiring.” Carmilla placed the bag on the table.

“I can start something if you want..if you tell me where the pots and other things are, that is.” Laura fidgeted a little with the straps of her backpack.

Laura waited for an answer, Carmilla snuck up behind her and placed her chin on her shoulder, “i’m cooking..you can take the things out of the bag and put them in the fridge, if you really want to help.” 

“Ok i will”, Laura’s voice came out high-pitched. She cringed when she heard her own volume, not understanding why it came out like that. Maybe it was Carmilla’s breath on her neck that it was making her feel and think things. 

Carmilla plopped down on the couch and took a book that was on the near table.

Once Laura had finished in the kitchen she went to sit with her.

“Mm, Symposium by Plato? Is that your way of relaxing?” Laura asked, pressing her side to Carmilla’s.

“It appears so.” Carmilla didn’t move her eyes from the page.

“And you’re wearing glasses, uh?” Laura pointed out.

“Only when i read.” Eyes still glued on the words in front of her.

Laura traced with one finger the stem of her glasses, “you’re really hot when you read, you know that?” 

“Your hot girlfriend is trying to read.” Carmilla said looking at Laura for a brief moment, before returning back to her book, as if nothing happened. But she knew what she was doing, and Laura failed to see the little smirk plastered across the older girl’s face.

Laura stiffened, then covered with one hand splayed out the pages of the book, preventing Carmilla from her reading. “You are?”

“What? Hot or girlfriend?” Her sarcastic tone was obvious.

Laura glared at her, “both”.

“If you want me to be, yes. Do you want me to be your girlfriend?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” Laura said and launched herself forward, hugging Carmilla. Then after a bit she said, “but, do you want me to be your girlfriend?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, “yes, you idiot”, and kissed her, more passionately than Laura expected.

Laura’s front was glued to Carmilla, making them sink into the couch. When they broke the kiss, Carmilla slapped lightly the blonde’s ass, “come on, i need to feed you. And me too”.

“Can we continue this later?” Laura asked.

“If you’re good.” Carmilla got up and went to the kitchen with a smug face.

Laura followed her quickly. “Ok, what are you making?” 

“I was thinking a quiche, mozzarella with some tomatoes, they’re fresh, so they should be really tasty and some fruit salad. Is that fine?” Carmilla asked.

“Yes, i can’t wait! Can i change into something more comfortable?”

“Yes grab whatever you want from my wardrobe.” 

Laura smiled and started moving in the direction of the bedroom, when Carmilla called her, “hey Laura”, she turned her head, “hm?”, Carmilla gave her a soft smile back, “you’re really cute today.” 

Laura giggled uncontrollably and flee towards the other room. 

“I should just marry you, everything was perfect..i want you to cook for me for the rest of my life.” Laura said placing her fork and knife on her plate.

With an amused face Carmilla looked at her, “that’s nice to know, but you became all flustered when i told you you were my girlfriend..so go easy on yourself, or you might directly faint if you ask me that.”

Laura jokingly glared at her, “we’ll see.”

“I can’t wait.”

The interaction was meant to be funny, and it was, but both were thinking beyond the sarcasm facade. Carmilla, who was accustomed to living alone and liked her own privacy and loneliness, was now admitting to herself that the presence of this girl was not annoying at all. 

She had tried to have roommates, but she could never put up with them; maybe it was one of her flaws, she couldn’t do much about it, it was just the way she was. She wanted her alone time, silence and a good company, if possible. Maybe she found that right now. 

“Ok, go sit down, you did enough for today..i’ll wash the dishes.” Laura offered. 

“If you insist, fine by me.” Carmilla smugly said.

“Oh, don’t you dare think i won’t want my fair share of cuddles right after, eh? “ Laura countered back.

Carmilla shook her head smiling and went to sit without a response.

She was still reading that book, but she found herself quite distracted right now. There was something floating in her mind. She kept glancing up from her book, and direct her eyes at the girl carefully washing wine glasses.  _ Nah, it can wait _ , she told herself. 

She resumed her reading, but once again, thoughts were keeping her from even understanding the book. 

She rested her head on the couch and sighed. Eyes fixed on Laura. An intense stare the other girl couldn’t see.

“Hey Laura, can you come here?” Carmilla cautiously asked.

Laura didn’t turn around, “Carm, i’m still washing..can you wait?”

Carmilla didn’t answer to that, but kept looking at her.

When Laura heard no response, she turned her head and met piercing dark eyes, “what’s wrong?”

“I need to tell you something.” 

“Oh...ok”, Laura let the sponge fall into the sink and dried her hands on a towel. She then approached the other girl and sat down near her onto the couch, “tell me.”

“Straddle me.” Was all Carmilla said.

Laura exhaled, “Carm, we can do that later..let me finish - “, she was cut off by a low voice, “Laura please, straddle me.”

Laura agreed to that and put both her legs on Carmilla’s sides, placing her hands on her stomach, in order to balance her. 

Carmilla, her head still rested on the back of the couch, was looking her in the eyes. Laura stared back, waiting, with her eyebrows raised just a bit, as if asking ‘ _ what did you want to tell me? _ ’. 

She let her eyebrows fall down, back in their normal position, when Carmilla smiled at her, with the softest stare she had ever seen. She couldn’t do anything but smile back at her.

“I love you, Laura.” The tone was serious but the soft gaze still present.

Laura felt a drop in her stomach, a pleasant drop. She remembered in that exact moment, when she had realized she was in love with Carmilla. That night, when Carmilla held her in a warm embrace, even though they weren’t on speaking terms and were technically just two persons knowing each other. 

That proved how much Carmilla truly cared for her. 

She was brought out of these thoughts when she felt a hand caressing her thigh, and realized she hadn’t responded back to Carmilla.

Her eyes watered a bit, the whole moment made her more emotional than she ever expected. Carmilla calling her here just to tell her this, was entirely endearing.

“I love you too, Carmilla..and you’re the sweetest person ever. Wow, i’m a mess, you must think ‘ _ what a drama girl _ ’, seeing me like this”, Laura tried to dry her eyes, rubbing them with her fingers. 

Carmilla took hold of Laura’s hands and stopped her movements. She looked down at their intertwined fingers, “i like you just the way you are”, she paused for a brief moment, “even if you are a drama girl, which by the way, is not entirely an insult.” 

Laura laughed a bit, “can you kiss me now, please?” 

“Weren’t you supposed to wash the dishes?” Carmilla questioned teasingly. 

“Fuck you”, Laura said laughing again and leaning in.

“Wow, you just told me you love me and now this. Nice strategy here, uh?” Carmilla brought Laura’s hands behind her own neck and connected their lips. 

Laura tilted her head to the side when she felt Carmilla’s tongue going in. The kiss started out a bit sloppy, messy, fierce and ended softly, with lips brushing lightly against each other. 

“Looks like my strategy is working”, Laura showed the other girl a smug face, when she heard her panting quietly. 

“It is..but is it ok if we just sleep tonight?” Carmilla asked blushing a bit.

Laura remained in silence for some seconds, confused.

Carmilla continued when she received no response, “i know you maybe want to do the other kind of sleep, but i’m really tired today -”, Laura cut her off, “hey, why are you asking me? Of course it’s ok! I’ll go finish up and then you can cuddle on me for the whole night, ok?”

“Yes, thank you..now go, because i want your warmth as soon as possible.” Carmilla answered back. 

* * *

A long week filled with deadlines for Laura and a couple conferences for Carmilla, passed. They only managed to see each other two times for lunch and one particularly odd breakfast, in which Laura expressed how much she was looking forward to a specific thing. 

That morning, she had left kissing Carmilla on the cheek and telling her how much she wanted to be fucked by her. Carmilla had remained surprised to witness that; Laura being this forward was something she didn’t get to see very often. And it left her turned on for the whole day. 

On a Friday morning, free of lectures or job assignments, she decided to go do some errands. 

Carmilla(10:22am): -image.jpg-

Carmilla(10:23am): what do you think about it?

Laura was startled by her phone buzzing, as she was immersed in finding a good title for her article. 

She opened the message and immediately placed her phone face down, when she saw what it was. She, not so discreetly, eyed the room to see if anyone had noticed her phone or her face, which was unceremoniously red.

Laura(10:25am): would it be so bad if you cared to warn me before sending me a close-up of a dildo? 

Carmilla(10:27am): it’s a strap-on, sweetheart. So, what do you think? 

Laura(10:29am): are you asking me if i want that? If you have my permission to buy it? ahah

Carmilla(10:30am): oh don’t act like you don’t want me to fuck you with it lol 

Laura blushed. She pictured Carmilla in that and felt the area between her legs go warm. She wanted it. 

Laura(10:32am): ok, buy it. 

Carmilla(10:33am): say no more

Carmilla smiled mischievously and went to the check-out.

After exiting the shop, she sent Laura another text.

Carmilla(10:43am): oh, don’t worry cutie, you’re not the only one who wants to be fucked with that ;)

Laura read the message and wondered how she could keep working with the image of a sweaty and panting Carmilla riding her. 

Laura(4:15pm): I’ll see you tonight?

Carmilla(4:20pm): so predictable 

Laura(4:37pm): look, i miss you, ok? we haven’t spent time together properly in more than a week :(

Carmilla(4:40pm): i was going to ask you..i’m just messing with you. I’ll come pick you up from work, if that’s fine..what time? 

Laura(4:42pm): i finish in two hours. <3 see you later

Carmilla(4:43pm): alright

Carmilla(4:45pm): ps. i miss you too <3 

After two excruciating long hours, work was done and she could just focus on her night. She ran down the stairs and she could already see, through the big glass windows of her building, Carmilla waiting for her on the pavement. 

“Hey”, Laura called out, wrapping the other girl in a hug. 

“Hey, how are you?”, Carmilla asked letting her hand travel down Laura’s arm, until it reached her hand and gripped it. 

They started walking in the direction of Carmilla’s place. “I’m ok..it wasn’t really productive today though..you?”

“How so?” 

“Your fault.” 

“Hmm”, Carmilla let out, with an amused expression. 

Suddenly someone was calling Laura. Kirsch was waving at them from the other side of the street, he crossed it and approached them. “Hey there..i’ve been screaming your names for a while, you’re the only ones who didn’t hear though.”

“Hi Kirsch,” Carmilla smiled at him.

“Oh, sorry..relax, calm down”, Laura said, as she noticed him panting lightly.

“You guys have to come tonight - ”, he paused to catch breath and Laura and Carmilla exchanged a knowing look, “ - Will wants to introduce us to his boyfriend, i was going there now, he’s having some drinks”.

“What, he told me he wasn’t ready?” Carmilla countered back.

“Yeah, i know, he changed his mind apparently..he told me a couple of hours ago..” Kirsch kept shifting his weight on his feet, waiting for an answer.

“Um, ok i guess today’s the day then”, Laura said, waiting for Carmilla to agree.

Carmilla groaned, “i had other plans, but ok.”

“Awesome! Let’s go!” Kirsch almost shouted and grabbed Carmilla’s arm dragging her towards the location.

“Wow, my sister came too! Hey Laura, Kirsch, this is Matt, my boyfriend.” Will greeted them as they sat down on a round table. 

“Hi Matt”, Carmilla said, sitting beside him.

“Hey..you look really tall from a seated position”, Laura said and Carmilla shot her a glance. She wasn’t a really sociable person, but she knew that that was a weird thing to say to someone you just met.

“What kind of observation is that?” Kirsch seemed to have read Carmilla’s mind.

“I - i, just..it’s the first thing i’ve noticed, but he also has really nice hair.” It was true, he was incredibly charming, light brown hair with some lighter, almost blonde, locks.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. Laura really needs a good fuck, she thought to herself.

“You’re kind..and she is right, i’m tall”, he stood up and he was probably near the two metres. 

Laura made a smug face, as if she had won a competition of some sort. 

A waiter arrived with a tray full of beers and other drinks, and placed it onto the table, “enjoy guys.”

“So, where did you meet Will, Matt? We want the story.” Kirsch asked.

“Oh, it’s not a big story..we kept “meeting” and playing online, we’re both nerds, and I always had fun playing with him..so one day, i decided to send him a message and from there, we started chatting..and here we are.” Matt answered.

“That’s cute..who asked who out?” Laura was curious.

“I did”, Matt said.

“Ooooh, i thought you braver Will”, Laura looked at him.

“At least i was honest with myself and went straight to the point, unlike you two, who were clearly interested in more than sex from the beginning, but waited ages to admit it.” Will glared jokingly at both of them.

Carmilla glared back and Laura just blushed. Typical of them. 

“Also, what were your plans for tonight? Read like an old lady?” Will kept his eyes on his sister.

“I actually had plans with Laura. Don’t worry, Matt, it’s an attack at my brother, not at you.”

Matt and Kirsch were enjoying the banter. Laura a little less, she feared Carmilla would accidentally spill something more explicit about their night, which would embarrass her like nothing else.

“Oh, sorry..well at some point in the night, i’ll let you go, Carmilla”, Will blowed a kiss to her sister. 

“Thanks, brother.”

“Wow, everyone’s having sex, except me”, Kirsch rested his head on his hand. 

“Well, your redhead friends are dancing, you might want to join them and distract your mind from it.” Will suggested.

Kirsch looked like he was deep in thought, then stood up, “ok, see you all in a while.” 

After a while, Will had gone out for a smoke with the company of his sister. Kirsch was still showing off his dance moves to the whole pub. Laura was at the table with Matt, talking about this and that. She had learnt that he had just gotten a degree in graphic design and was now applying for jobs.

And he had then told her Will was his first real boyfriend. He had never really dated before, mostly because he was afraid of being judged. And Laura confessed to him that it had been similar for her too; dating was hard and she could never find real interest in the girls she met.

Until Carmilla shook her world. 

“So, what were your plans with her tonight? I’m sorry i kept you from them.” Matt curiously asked. 

“Don’t worry..we were just planning to spend some alone time..we haven’t really seen each other in a bit.” 

“Uh,  _ that _ kind of alone time?” 

Laura blushed a bit and smiled, “um, yes.”

“Shit..now i feel guilty, i’ll let you go when Will comes back.” He assured her. 

“Thank you..even though i’m a bit scared ‘cause we were thinking of trying new things..and i’ve never done them, so..you know, i don’t know how to do them.” She confessed to him, feeling a bit embarrassed by talking about these things with an almost complete stranger. Or maybe, it felt easier precisely because he was a stranger. 

“Look, i had never done practically nothing before Will, so..i’m not an expert either. But if you both want to try new stuff, that means you both trust each other and both want it..it’ll come natural, you’ll see.” He winked at her. 

“I’m a bit scared it will hurt..because i’ve never really, you know..” Laura was finding difficult to use her words.

Matt looked like he had an epiphany, “ooh, you’re using a dildo?” 

“Yeah, a strap-on.” And in her mind, Carmilla’s voice resounded,  _ it’s a strapon, sweetheart _ . 

That damn smug face.

“I see..well if you don’t have an unreal size of it, it’ll be fine.” 

Laura thought back to the picture, and she remembered it didn’t look big at all. She was a bit relieved. 

Carmilla and Will came back and at the same time Kirsch, Danny, LaFontaine and Perry were back from the dancefloor.

Carmilla sat near Laura, pressing her side to the blonde’s one, and resting her hand on her thigh. While still talking with Will, she unconsciously started moving her thumb, as if she wanted to soothe her leg, and Laura found it hard to not squirm in her place. 

All she wanted was Carmilla’s hands all over her and she couldn’t have them yet. Not right now, certainly, in front of everyone. 

Laura put her own hand on top of Carmilla’s and looked up when the other girl turned her head to give her a soft smile. She resumed her conversation with Will and Laura, wanting more contact, brought her hand on her hip, as if telling her she wanted to be hugged. 

Carmilla turned her head once again, hugged her, her arm in contact with Laura’s lower belly, and dove her face in the crook of the blonde’s neck, “we’re leaving now”, she whispered.

Laura got suddenly excited, she finally could be alone with her.

Carmilla untangled herself from the hug, “guys, Laura and I are going home..we should organize a real dinner though sometime.” 

“Will you cook?” Will perked up. 

“I might.” She answered.

“Yes! Let’s do it soon then.”

“I’ll let you all know..have a good night. Bye Matt.” 

After saying bye to everyone, they were back to Carmilla’s place. “Matt is cute, right?” Laura asked, putting her bag on a kitchen chair.

“He really is..you two really bonded, uh?” Carmilla went to the sink and poured herself a glass of water. 

“Yeah..we were talking about first times and he said Will was his first. And you’re technically not my first, but i consider you like that.” 

“Technically?” Carmilla questioned.

“You know i had never really done much..not the entire thing, i mean.”

Carmilla smirked and repeated “not the entire thing” slowly. 

Laura fidgeted with the back of the chair.

“And what thing are we going to do tonight?” The dark-haired girl got closer.

“I - the entire...one?” Laura asked taking one of Carmilla’s hand in hers. 

“If you’re a good girl..yeah”, Carmilla put both her hands on the other girl’s waist, pulling her closer, until their fronts met. She kissed her on the neck once, “do you want to?” 

When Laura let out a small “yes”, Carmilla placed another lingering kiss on her pulse point. 

“Shit..i’ve been daydreaming about you the whole day.” Laura said again.

Carmilla let one of her hand travel up from Laura’s back to the back of her head, sliding her fingers through her hair and turning her until their lips were an inch away, “i have too.”

She captured her lips in a quick and wet kiss. 

Laura’s hands were on Carmilla’s ass, keeping her there, close to her body. 

“So, you’ve been turned on like me for the whole day?” Carmilla asked when they broke the kiss to catch their breaths.

“You really have no idea.”

“But i want to know..”, Carmilla was immediately cut off by the other girl, “then take me to your bedroom.”

“Why bedroom?”

Laura knitted her brows, “wherever you want to fuck then.” 

“I want to fuck you right here. Wait here, i’ll be back in a second.” Carmilla sprinted towards the bedroom and came back some moments later, with a pillow and a bag, which she placed on a chair. 

Laura could feel herself embarrassingly wet already. She had an idea of what Carmilla wanted to do, but was not completely sure. 

“Take this shirt off, just your shirt”, Carmilla ordered her. In the meantime the dark-haired girl stripped her own clothes off, leaving herself in just her bra and underwear. All black. 

Laura still had her bra and jeans on. Carmilla caressed her sides lightly, until her hands reached the side of her breasts. “Please touch me”, Laura said closing her eyes, her ass pressed on the table behind her. 

“I am touching you, Laura.”

Carmilla palmed her breasts, applying more pressure now, eliciting a low moan from Laura.

“More please. Touch me here.” Laura took hold of Carmilla’s hand and brought it to her front, where she really wanted her. The older girl started massaging her on her jeans. Even though it was absolutely pleasant, not quite the touch Laura wanted. 

“Relax, sweetheart..we’re doing this slow.” Carmilla stopped Laura’s roaming hands.

Laura lifted her head from Carmilla’s collarbone, “this?”

“Didn’t you want to be fucked bent over a table?” 

Laura felt a hot drop in her lower belly. She knew she was even wetter right now. 

“So..you remember, uh?”

“I always listen to you, Laura. You might not notice it, but i do.” Carmilla placed a soft kiss to her cheek. There was so much more to this statement than what it meant in that exact moment. And they both understood it. 

Laura loved how, even in moments like these, where most of the time you were supposed to lose control and let yourself go, her girlfriend could deliver words full of meaning and be this caring. 

“That’s why i love you”, Laura couldn’t hold it back, and frankly, there was no need to hold it back. She was allowed to let her feelings show and be known.

“That’s not the only reason”, Carmilla bit back smugly.

“Oh, what would another reason be?” 

“Turn around and lie down on the table, cutie.” Carmilla said. 

Laura took the pillow and put it onto the table, lay on top of it, leaving her feet anchored to the floor. Now it was pretty clear to her what Carmilla wanted to do.

Carmilla pressed her front to her ass, scraping her thighs with her nails. Her hands then followed the curve of her ass, making Laura wriggle a bit. 

“Please, Carm, undress me”, every garments she had still on was beginning to feel like it was constricting her, she wanted to be naked under those wonderful hands. 

Carmilla did as she was told, and after a moment, she could admire an exposed Laura, ass in the air, breasts dove into the pillow and face already flushed red turned to one side. 

Carmilla bent forward and pressed her whole body on top of Laura, skin to skin. Her mouth near her ear, “let’s see, finally, how wet you are.” Not moving from that position, she brought one hand from her ass, to the glistening opening just between those round cheeks. 

“Fuck..you weren’t kidding. So, you have been a good girl, for me.” Carmilla said, emphasizing the  _ have _ .

“Do i deserve something, then, right?” 

“My immense love and..this”, she very lightly slapped her pussy, “to be fucked like you want.” 

“Ahh..”, Laura let out and shivered.

Carmilla squatted and brought her tongue to Laura’s folds, spreading them apart. She moved and started doing circles with it on her clit, soaking it with more wetness. 

Laura tried to open her legs a bit wider and Carmilla smirked at the action.

She stopped her ministrations and went for the bag. When Laura felt no more contact, she turned her head to see what she was doing. “Carmilla, if you don’t continue what you were doing…”, her mouth fell open and without words. 

“So, this is what i bought today..”, she showed the strap-on, letting it dangle from her fingers, “do you want to try?” 

It was dark blue, not too wide and not too long. Laura nodded, and even though the dimensions of it, relieved her, she said “yes, but please go slow, ok?”

“You didn’t even have to ask that, Laura..i was going to go slow anyway.” Carmilla placed a kiss on her cheek and gently pushed her down with one hand splayed out on her back.

Carmilla put on the harness and lightly caressed her pussy with just the tip of it, eliciting a light “hm” from the other girl. She then bent forward once again, pressing her front and breasts on Laura’s back, letting the length of the strap-on stroke on her pussy, with slow up-and-down motions. 

“Please..i need you inside, Carmilla.” 

“Your wish is my command”, she put one finger inside, stretching her pussy, and then another one, until three fingers were pushed inside of her, her fluids covering Carmilla’s hand, more and more at every thrust. 

She slowly removed her fingers, “i think you’re ready”, and pushed the tip of the strap-on inside.

Laura tensed a bit, “go all the way in”, she quickly said as she felt the new toy at the entrance of her pussy.

Carmilla complied and stopped when the whole length was inside, letting Laura adjust to the new feeling. 

With one hand, Laura reached back, and scraped Carmilla’s thigh. “Is it ok?”, the older girl asked. 

“Yes..that feels good, keep going.”

Carmilla started moving, hands gripping her hips.

“Oh my god”, Laura let out. And it really was an oh-my-god moment for her, she wasn’t expecting it to feel  _ this _ good. As Carmilla’s movements picked up pace, she was thinking that she had thought about how it would feel, but never imagined such a pleasure ripping her open.

She could feel her pussy’s muscles follow out the shaft and go back in when Carmilla slowly pushed it back inside.

Carmilla slowed down, almost pulling it out, and Laura pushed her ass back trying to push it back inside. The older girl’s core clenched at Laura’s motion and she remained still, letting her girlfriend fuck herself with it, by pushing back and forth on her own. 

“Yeah..just like that”, Carmilla let out, when she felt the base of the shaft hitting on her clit. 

Laura, almost out of breath, reached behind and grabbed Carmilla’s ass, subtly telling her to pick up her movements. 

Carmilla suddenly pulled out, “turn around, Laura.”

Laura moved and lay her back on her pillow and legs spread wide open, supported by Carmilla’s hands. “You wanted to look at me?” 

“Yes”, she was surprised to see how incredibly well Laura knew her.

“Harder now..please”, Laura demanded.

The older girl did so, and started really pounding her. It was not a mechanical motion, not just in and out, it was thought out. Her pelvis moved, firstly, lowering itself, stretching the bottom of Laura’s opening and then moved up, hitting the right spot on her upper wall. 

Laura’s breath was becoming ragged with every thrust, and Carmilla couldn’t hold back the moans produced by the base of the dildo hammering her throbbing clit. 

Just as Carmilla’s abdomen tensed, Laura let out a loud “oh shit”, her pussy clamped down on the toy inside of her, walls stretching and contracting. The long contractions repeatedly hit Carmilla’s clit, making her come with great gasps for air and hands tightly gripping Laura’s hands.

Carmilla didn’t pull out, she put her hands behind her girlfriend’s back and lifted her, hugging her. She moved her pelvis slowly, letting the toy slide in and out again.

Laura kissed her on her flushed cheek, “keep going”, and brought down her own hand. Fingers, firstly tapping at her clit, then stroking it wildly. 

Carmilla followed her instructions and kept the pace, slow and steady. “You’re really insatiable today, uh?” 

Laura moaned, her body aching heatedly everywhere. 

“Come for me, Laura..please.”

The new angle from which the toy was hitting inside of her and hearing Carmilla begging her to come, sent her over the edge, with a loud moan. 

Carmilla hugged her tighter and kissed her on her collarbone. She removed the toy, she picked her up, and went to her bedroom. 

She placed Laura onto her bed, half-lidded eyes. She took off the harness and went to put it into the sink. 

When she came back, Laura had rolled onto her side and patted the space in front of her, telling Carmilla to hop in. “Come here.”

Carmilla went under the sheets with her and snuggled to the other girl, nose in the crook of her neck. 

“Can i sleep here, Carm?” 

Carmilla chuckled, finding it obvious. “That’s why you’re in my bed, Laura.” 

Laura moved her head a bit back, and kissed her. Her hands drawing circles on her girlfriend’s back. “Your skin is so soft..”

“Do you want to talk about the moisturizers i use right now?” 

Laura laughed and pushed her lightly on her shoulder. “I want to top the next time”, she suddenly said.

“Next time? So, you liked it, uh?” Carmilla teasingly asked.

“I think it was pretty obvious.” 

Carmilla smirked, “ok then, next time you top and i get to have multiple orgasms.”

“If you’re good too, like i have been, you will too.” Laura smugly said.

Carmilla snuggled even closer, “can i sleep like this?”

“Yes..goodnight Carm”, she pressed a kiss on her forehead.

“Night, Laura”, she mumbled. 

* * *

Another week packed with essays to read and things to write passed. Laura had a dinner with her father and some other relatives, but she told her girlfriend she would have gone to her place right after.

Laura(10:18pm): 10 minutes and i’ll be there

Carmilla(10:20pm): finally, i need a hug

Laura(10:22pm): did something happen?

Carmilla(10:23pm): no

Laura read the message, not really believing her. She sped up her walking pace. 

As soon as Carmilla opened the door, Laura immediately asked, entering the apartment, “what’s wrong?”

“Hi cutie..nothing’s wrong, why?”

“It didn’t seem like that by your messages..you said you needed a hug.” Laura crossed her arms.

“And i do..can’t i just need a hug from you?” Carmilla’s voice was low.

Laura’s face softened, “of course”, she opened her arms and welcomed her, “i just thought there was something wrong and i was worried.”

“I’m just really really tired today..and i just needed you”, the older girl said pressing a kiss to her neck.

“Sorry, dinner was boring as hell and i couldn’t wait to come back here..” When she heard no response from Carmilla, an idea popped into her head. “Give me one minute.”

She untangled from the hug, went to the stereo, turned it on and connected it via bluetooth to her phone. She fiddled a bit with it and then went back to Carmilla as soon as a song started playing. 

Carmilla immediately recognized the song.

_ The Apartment song _ .

Which had now become their song. 

As Laura was approaching her again, Carmilla shot her the softest gaze ever. She took her by the hand and pulled her closer.

They started swaying together, not really in sync with the music, but that wasn’t the point. 

Carmilla’s arms wrapped around her waist. Laura took her face in both of her hands and placed a sweet kiss on her lips, and then really hugged her.

Cheek pressing to cheek. 

The sound of her favorite tune.

Laura’s smell enveloping her. 

Hands holding her tightly.

The only warmth she ever wanted on her. 

This is what love feels like, Carmilla thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3
> 
> ps. the song is always the same, if you're interested, The Apartment Song by Do Make Say Think.


End file.
